I hate margaritas. Tequila, whiskey, vodka….ok really any alcohol just tastes plain bad to me. But margaritas run deep in my memories. Goosebumps run wild on my skin from them. When I turned 18 and took a trip to Mexico for the first time with a ton of other 18 year old idiots, I did more tequila poppers in a week than I will ever do again in my life. Thank the good lord that camera phones or Facebook or even digital cameras weren’t really a thing yet because there are moments back then that I would never want to revisit. You know how back in the day you would hear about a friend getting caught smoking and his dad would make him smoke the whole pack of cigarettes and then he would never want to touch them again? I did that to myself with tequila. It’s crazy how that smell can evoke misery. I know about 60% of you have gone through the same thing.
Anywho, I’ve been determined for a long time now to create a margarita that I not only can stand, but also can enjoy. Finally, it has happened. I absolutely love this cocktail! And it would be good with vodka or gin, if you aren’t into the gross tequila. Remember, I didn’t make these cocktails super strong, so if you’re looking for a little more zip in your drink, add more tequila. Duh.
Speaking of alcohol, wanna talk about The Bachelor? I feel like everyone looks the same. And sounds the same. Like a really high pitched voice that kind of hurts to listen to. Except for Lace. Oh good ole’ deep voice, mumbling Lace. This poor girl, just getting drunk and continuously repeating that she’s not crazy. I think men in their late 20’s and up know that if a woman is saying she’s not crazy, she’s f*cking psycho. And Lace has brown hair anyways, she’s effed. Ben likes the blonde bombshells. Not to worry, Ben, you’ll end up with Lace in the end. She will definitely be stalking you in Denver. Stalking meaning kidnapping you. Watch your back Ben, watch yo back.
I didn’t get to see this weeks new episode since I was packing for Costa Rica, so don’t spoil it yet. Even though I’m guessing absolutely nothing happened except for dates that make you feel weird inside. Hopefully they didn’t go on a date again to smell each other. I felt so bad for the chick who was told she smelled sour. That would definitely be my smell. I nervous sweat all day long, no matter what the situation is. I could be going to the bathroom in my own empty house and still have nervous sweat. Too many episodes of ‘Making a Murderer’ and ‘The Jinx.’ Even the organic deo can’t save me. I miss the old days when they just hung out in hot tubs…that weren’t in hot tub stores. Did anyone think that was weird AF? Oh Bachelor, how I missed your weirdness.
For the rim
- lime wedge
- 1/4 cup of sugar (I used maple sugar) or coarse salt
For the jalapeño lime simple syrup
- 1 cup water
- 1/3 cup honey (or agave if you are ok with that)
- 2 jalapeños, sliced
- juice of 1/2 lime
For the margaritas
- 1 cup blueberries
- 1/2 cup lime juice
- 1 cup blue agave silver tequila
- mint leaves, for garnish
- lime wedges, for garnish
- To make your life easier, get the glasses ready first then set in the freezer until you are ready with your drink. Use a lime wedge to wet the rim of a glass then place sugar or salt on a plate and dip the rim of the glass in it and all the way around. Then add crushed ice to the glass. Repeat with 4 glasses. Place in freezer.
- Place all the ingredients for the simple syrup in a small saucepan over medium heat, whisk and let simmer for 15 minutes. Remove from heat to let cool.
- Once slightly cool, remove 4-5 slices of jalapeño for garnish then pour the rest of the simple syrup into a high speed blender along with 1 cup of blueberries. Puree for almost 1 minute until everything is completely combine. Pour mixture through a fine mesh strainer into a jar.
- Fill a cocktail shaker with the blueberry mixture, lime juice, and tequilla along with a couple ice cubes. Cover and shake. Strain mixture into chilled glasses and garnish with blueberries, candied jalapeños, mint and lime.
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