I have a straight up issue right now. Legit ISH SHEW. Ok, so last week, I was being a really great friend and taking Sergio coffee. I bought two lattes at one of my favorite coffee shops then headed over towards Sergio’s house. It was snowing, again, so I was trying to get out of my car without getting slushed. So, to not get completely bombarded with yellow slushy snow, I placed one coffee on top of the other, kicked open my door, grabbed my purse, and sh*t got crazy. One of the coffees legit jumped out of my hand (meaning it fell off of the other coffee) and spilled everywhere (meaning the lid came off and completely poured out onto my car floor). I literally sat there screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOO….OOOOO….OOO for a good 30 seconds, pretty much until I couldn’t breathe anymore. Then I stared at the coffee as it sunk into the carpet. Then I threw my scarf on top of it in a pitiful attempt to soak it up. It did nothing. Then I went on with my day. Hoping it would clear itself up. Welp, it’s been a week. I’m stupid. And my car smells like a dump truck. Legit dump. Not poo, just spoiled milk. I’m going to go get it detailed. They are going to hate me.
I had to snatch the sh*t out of things today. First 7 minutes of burpees, now 10 minutes of snatches. Look at you go CrossFit. WOD 12.2 was a doozy. Constantly snatching for 10 minutes is pretty damn hard. I’m excited for this wod to be over specifically so I can stop hearing all the snatch sexual innuendos and jokes going around at the gym. They aren’t original anymore. I’ve seen them on aboooout 65 different CrossFit shirts at this point. And every dude thinks he’s so creative when he makes a joke about it. Way to go guys. Way.to.be.
You know what’s weird about coffee cake? There’s no coffee in it. That’s kind of dumb. I mean, I’m guessing it was named that because people drank coffee with it? I don’t know. I guess we might as well call it donut cake. That makes sense. Since you eat coffee with donuts. Right? I don’t know what I’m saying. Either way, my coffee cake has coffee in it. I don’t mess around. Nor lie. So if you’re into coffee cake that doesn’t taste slightly like coffee, you’re not gonna be into this. And I won’t really be into you anyways.
I smell like bacon. Damnit.
- 1/2 cup almond flour/meal
- 1/3 cup coconut flour
- 1/3 cup Unsweetended Shredded Coconut
- 1/2 cup Gold Label Virgin Coconut Oil, melted
- 1/2 cup coconut milk
- 1/2 cup Chameleon Cold Brew Coffee
- 1/3 cup Raw Honey
- 4 eggs, whisked
- 2 teaspoon ground coffee
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
- pinch of salt
For the topping
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Mix all dry ingredients: almond meal, coconut flour, shredded coconut, baking soda and baking powder, cinnamon, and salt.
- Then add your wet remaining ingredients to the dry ingredients. Mix together.
- Grease a 8x8 or 9x9 glass baking dish and pour into the dish.
- Bake for 25-30 minutes or until edges are browned and middle is completely cooked through.
- While your cake is cooking, pull out a large skillet and place over medium heat.
- Add your coconut oil then almonds. Mix to coat almonds.
- When the almonds begin to toast and have a bit of browning to them (be careful because they burn easily) add your honey, maple syrup, cinnamon, vanilla and salt and mix thoroughly.
- Cook for a couple minutes longer being sure not to burn the almonds, but remove from heat.
- Once cake is done cooking, top with almonds and slightly press down to help stick to the cake. Let cool then serve with some delicious Chameleon Cold Brew Coffee!
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