GUESS WHAT?! I have the winners of the Goodbody Giveaway!! Yaaaaaayy!! I told you to post comments that made me laugh or smile. And these two winners did!! Heather just flat out made me laugh. And Emily wrote a legit poem. What a badass…that has a lot of time on her hands. I like her.
Heather:
‘Gluten makes me sweaty. I love cookies. Sometimes I break down and eat said cookies. I sweat all night. My bedsheets stink. Gluten free cookies = problem solved.’
Emily:
“Pale-OH MY GOD
This girl is awesome, have you seen her bod?
She says she’s single but I can’t see why
Who else do you know that can create a paleo pie?!
Recipe upon recipe she can write,
She’s writing her own cookbook so she must be bright.
Her humor is quirky
And I really hope this poem will work-y
I’m trying to pretend I know how to write
All because I want those damn cookie bites.
… If this isn’t pathetic than I don’t know what is.’
If you are a Heather or an Emily, check your inbox since I sent the email asking for your personal info. Creeeeepy. Are you sad you’re not the winner? That’s ok! Be a good person and give back to small businesses. You can purchase Goodbody Baked Goods right here! You WILL NOT regret it!!
Anywho! I need to get something off my chest. I hate bluetooth headsets. Ok wait, if you’re driving then that’s ok. But if you’re walking around the grocery store or sitting next to me at Starbucks with a headset in, on the ear I can’t see, I will automatically think you’re a weirdo. Understand one thing, I work on a street that is infamous for drunks and homeless people. That means I see people babbling to themselves about 16 times a day. Those people usually lack shirts and cannot make human eye contact, but still, I consider them crazy. So, if you are next to me while I order my coffee and are having a conversation, I will automatically think you are insane and create space between you and I. I’m just being honest. You high tech psycho.
I feel like I’m uncool because I don’t wear half shirts. You know the shirts that are high cut so your belly button shows. Yeah, I can’t wear those. Why? Because I’m not cool. Or hip. Or a size zero. Or even brave enough for that sh*t. I try to be in style then the style changes to a teeny bopper style and I can’t keep up. And I know I’m offending all of you that wear those shirts, but it’s ok, because my roommate/best friend sports those kind of shirts. So I can do that. It’s my blog. And my best friend.
Are you bored with this recipe? I am too, kind of. But here’s the thing. I leave out of town today so I don’t have much real food in the house other than leftovers. So I’m eating old salmon, arugula, plantain chips, and bacon and eggs. Why the f*ck am I complaining? All that stuff sounds divine. Problem is, it’s not super blog worthy. So I had to yank this recipe out of my ass…gross visual…and add anything I had in my pantry to it. But it was wonderful. Bananas AND figs?!? Shut the front door. I just shed a tear.
- 1 banana
- 6-8 dried figs
- 8-12 ounces carton coconut milk (or almond milk)
- ½ teaspoon cinnamon
- 1 large scoop Simply Pure Nutrients Recovery Fuel
- Place all ingredients in a food processor or blender.
- Turn food processor or blender on.
- Puree until completely broken down and mixed together.
- Drink.
- Be merry.
Mmm this looks awesome! I’ve been trying to use protein powders after WODs / lifting. Even though it’s not PURE paleo! Oh no! But I can’t stomach real food for hours and realized I needed something to help recover. Winner! Thanks! Too bad I’m not a winner of cookies though…
I do that crap all the time too! I also start talking to people with blue-tool sets on. They walk up next to me and I hear “hey, hows it going” and off I go on a conversation with someone who isnt even talking to me. Morons.
i noticed you said carton of coconut milk – what brand do you use? the only carton i know of is “so delicious” brand and it has a bunch of other stuff in it, i assumed you only used cans. thanks!
I use the silk unsweetened. It has some random stuff in it but nothing that will be troublesome. But if you’re not a fan of that, you could also use canned coconut milk and add some water to it
Or you could make your own. Dried coconut + hot water + blender = coconut milk. It is a bit thinner like the carton kind, make sure you have a fine strainer to get the chunks out though.
this sounds delicious! i can’t do figs though. can i sub dates?
surely!!
Omg I hate those freakin half shirts. Seriously no one can wear those that actually eats on a daily basis or who isn’t 12 years old. Why can’t I find normal size shirts when I go to forever 21, GOD (Napoleon dynamite voice)
Wait, you know people who actually wear half shirts…out…in public? I thought that was only on the movies…
Pssh, whatever, I rock those half shirts all day. Ok…no I don’t, that’d be really weird. I found going sleeveless to be strange enough. I’m glad two people won cookies, and the other 100 of us aren’t funny, *sadface.* I actually looked for those cookies in whole foods and couldn’t find them *sadface 2.0.* Looks like online Ordery-ness is in my futah!
I freaking love figs…and bananas….and protein. I also love the fact that I’m not the only one living off of random meals (i had chicken breast and plantain chips last night for dinner) because I am going out of town. But what I love most of all is that I’m not the only one who sees those half shirts and even though I love the person wearing it I can justify my hatred of the shirt. I read your blog daily and am often super excited that my judgements are justified by someone other than myself! :-)
I also could not find those cookies at Whole Foods. Making a special trip to buy them seemed easier than trying to be funny. I love the half shirts. I look totally sweet in them when I wear them to pick up my kids at middle school. It’s pretty obvious when I see their friends whispering they’re talking about how cool I look.
“You high tech psycho.” May be the best line yet in a PaleOMG post. Agreed. Blue tooth wearing folks walking around the grocery store weird me out, and this includes my dad.
You actually made a protein shake sound appealing. Therefore, you win. :)
I hate the Bluetooth too. People at work do that all the time, I walk into the break room and think they’re talking to me, then I feel like the weirdo due to me starting to talk to someone not even talking to me. I’ve started to make it a point to stare these people down like they’re crazy weirdo’s in hopes that they’ll get the point.
Juli,
On the recovery fuel, There seems to be only Chocolate or Raspberry. Am I looking at the wrong item. I am recovery proteins.
I love your blog! and your recipes. <3
So I just found your blog and am loving it. Just watched your Pumpkin Cashew Coconut Curry video and died laughing. You are a food inspiration! Excited to try out your recipes :)
Tthis protein shake is the bomb… never made anything with figs before… but this will definitely be a repeat shake for me!
Thanks JB!
Amazing shake, my coconut milk wasn’t cold so I put the finished shake in the fridge for when I can back from working out! :)
I just made this (I’m drinking it right now) and it is AMAZING!
Figs are now officially my new favorite fruit. This was DELICIOUS and SO easy. I could throw this together as fast as I was making my protein shakes originally. Just what I need in the morning. Thank you!