Have I told you lately that I love my Traeger Grill? I got it a couple months back and just started cooking on it while I’ve been home for a couple days and it’s seriously amazing! The best burgers I’ve ever had, perfectly cooked steaks, and I haven’t really even gotten into the smoker yet. So excited to cook up more for you guys!
Something needs to be talked about right now. Freaking Frontier Airlines. You are QUITE LITERALLY the worst airline in the world. Have you been in a Frontier flight lately? You guys, they are seriously begging people to not book flights with them. Last year I told myself I would never fly Frontier after they charged me for EVERYTHING. I think they may start charging people for using the bathroom. $10 for #1, $12.50 for #2. I’m not joking. But they got even worse this year. They tore out all of their seats and put in plastic ones that are about an inch thick. The tray tables are only big enough to hold a cell phone, no way is a computer fitting on that little b*tch. A sip of everything costs $30. It costs $25 to carry on a bag. What in the hell. If it weren’t for being the only direct flight to Mexico that day, I would have never booked with them. Frontier Airlines, knock that sh*t off. Get your life together.
Speaking of Mexico, I think I’m finally out of my post-Mexico sugar depression. That was bad. I drank all the sugary drinks and had all kinds of desserts while I was there and it hit hard once I got home. Sugar addiction is a real thing. Straight up drug real. The fiancé couldn’t function from his hangover and I was an angry person because all I wanted was cake. We were a fun bunch. It was probably for the best that I left 2 days after getting home for Mexico to head to California for book tour. Because I would have picked fights for no reason. Do you ever do that? That’s a big dumb dumb mistake to do in a relationship. So if you’re fighting with your spouse, get off sugar. GET AWAY FROM IT!
Are you coming out for me and Vanessa’s book tour?! We started in San Diego last night and are heading all the way up California, then Seattle and Portland, Chicago, AND Texas. 20 days straight on the road, only 19 more to go. Have you ever packed for 20 days? It wouldn’t be that bad if I didn’t have to plan 13 book tour outfits…wait sh*t 14 actually, and then pack workout outfits, daily outfits, 1 million packs of fake eye lashes, and 100 pairs of shoes. I plan on buying outfits along the way and shipping old outfits back home. Jeez, I sound like a high maintenance biotch, don’t I? Ew Juli, you’re the worst.
For the celery salt ranch
- 1 cup Primal Kitchen Mayo
- 1⁄2 cup full-fat coconut milk
- 2 tablespoons lemon juice
- 3 tablespoons minced fresh parsley
- 2 tablespoons minced fresh chives
- 1 tablespoon minced fresh dill
- 1⁄2 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1/2 teaspoon celery salt
- pinch of fine sea salt and black pepper
For the grilled romaine
- 4 pieces of bacon, chopped
- 2 tablespoons melted ghee
- 3 hearts of romaine, cut in half lengthwise
- 1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
- 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1/4 teaspoon celery salt
- In a blender, add all ingredients for the celery salt ranch until smooth. Place in a closed container in the fridge to chill.
- Place bacon in a medium saute pan over medium heat. Cook until crispy then set aside on a paper towel to soak up excess fat.
- Heat grill to high heat. Once hot, use a brush to brush the inside of each half of a romaine heart with melted ghee. Then sprinkle each half with salt, garlic powder, and celery salt. Place greased side down on the grill to cook for about 2-3 minutes. While cooking, grease once more on the top side then flip and cook for 1-2 more minutes.
- Top each grilled romaine heart with ranch and bacon. Serve immediately!