Hi!

Have you missed me? I’ve sure missed you.

My website still seems to be a bit dumb. But we’re working on it. And now I’m back from vacation and ready to feed your faces! Yayyyyyyyyy.  Yay.

Anywho, I booked this trip to California a while back when I knew I would be done with my cookbook. Kind of as a celebration. Especially since Colorado is cold right now. Ew. Who wants to celebrate in the cold? And since my cookbook is ALMOST ready for pre-orders, it was definitely time to celebrate.

So I packed my bags and headed off to Orange County to stay with my friend Stacy. Remember Stacy? I met her a while back when I gave a talk about paleo at the gym, CrossFit Anaerobic. Well, she was so cool that I actually wanted to come back to California to eat, drink, and be merry with her. And that’s exactly what I did. A little too much. So I’ll give you the run down of the weekend. And if you don’t recognize me in pictures, it’s because I’ve probably gained a good 10lbs from eating so much. This love relationship with food is sure a curse at times.

I’ll give you the quick and easy version of my weekend if you hate reading and are pissed I don’t have a recipe up today. I ate multiple burgers, took pictures of them all, walked the beach, drank naughty beverages, including a peanut butter cup flavored one, and did so many lunges at CrossFit Anaerobic 1 that I may never walk right again. Good short version huh?

But here’s the better version. Disclaimer: some of these stories may be skewed, because I tend to have no memory.

Back to the point, I started my California experience off with a lettuce wrapped burger and animal fries at In-n-Out Burger. You people are obsessed with that place. I dig it. That burger tasted bomb, especially since I had just been eating jerky all day. Then Stacy and I caught up on the latest New Girl and Mindy Project. Then chatted with Daryl, Stacy’s wonderful mother, who may be my new favorite person because she digs food as much as I do. She made us meatballs (honestly the best meatballs I’ve ever had) with spaghetti squash. Then we watched Glee and I fell asleep probably by 8:30pm. I love vacations.

The next day was spent on the beach with Stacy and Andrew, where I consumed swordfish tacos and French fries. I also began to instagram every moment that passed by. And this is also when people started to flip their sh*t. I had no idea people could get so riled up about what other people are shoving in their faces. And it turns out, people weren’t too pumped about me shoving fish tacos down mine. People don’t seem to like it when I don’t eat strict paleo. Which is strange since I talk about my late night vodka sodas and early morning recovery sessions with corn tortillas and cheese. Either way, people took my run in with a corn tortilla as a shot to their own will power. Silly. I just wanted to eat something that sounded good, and welp, that did. It wasn’t a slip up. I didn’t forget what paleo was. My face didn’t fall onto the French fries. I ate what I wanted to. Then I ran all over the beach like a child, picking up snails or what I thought were snails, and sticking my finger into sea urchins. Those are funny.

i wish my xmas looked more like this

Then I threesomed a peanut butter milkshake. Yep, that happened.

Friday night was spent at Javier’s where I got down on a glass of wine and some carnitas. Hooooooly balls are those carnitas fantastic. And they came with a side of refried beans, which I haven’t had in forever, so I ate those up before I could even question eating them. Refried beans made with lard are fantastic. I pity all other beans. We finished the night off at Dave and Buster’s. Did you know they have a four person air hockey table?! Now that’s cool, I don’t care who you are. And if I would have had 48,950 tickets, I could have got a Xbox 360! So close!!

Now Saturday came along and I was more in my element. I went to CrossFit Anaerobic and did a workout that I will probably feel for the next week. It included tire flips, weighted lunges, and some other stuff. I don’t know why lunges hurt so bad every.single.time. It makes absolutely no sense. What makes even less sense is why my ass is still soft after doing lunges so many time. Do you job ass, get it together.

Stacy and I then headed over to a CrossFit competition where Andrew was competing. He did awesome, finishing 4th in his division. Badass. Found out that I think CrossFit competitions are waaaaay boring when I’m not competing in them. And the guys are just as toolish as they are back in CO. But I did get to eat some bacon wrapped dates and meet people who read my blog. Now that sh*t was cool. People actually recognized me and my awkward self!

Then Stacy and I got down at a burger place called Habit Burger. Holy.Moly.Guacamole. I want to eat their every day. I don’t know why you people are talking about In-N-Out so much, that place was way better. And they had sweet potato fries.

When Saturday night came, it was time to play. So we went to some ghetto fabulous bar where I decided that sticking to vodka shots, chasing it with water was the best option. That decision was mostly made by my stomach that had been filled with waaaaay too many meatballs an hour before. Not a ton of room left for liquids. So I drank, I danced, I drank some more. Then I fell asleep on the couch. And to my surprise, I didn’t eat a double stack Cholupa when our group asked our cab driver to stop at Taco Bell on the way home. What a patient sole that cab driver was. I think I made that double stack thing up, but you know what I’m getting at. Those things that taste like heaven but smell like the dumpster outside an apartment building, in the middle of downtown. Fast food smells weird.

Sunday morning was rough. I don’t like being hung over. But I do like it when I’m staying at Stacy’s house. Because her mom fed me eggs, bacon, and a sweet potato hash. And then I got to shower in a shower that had four shower heads shooting at me. What the? I didn’t know that was possible. It was like a bidet, but in non toilet form. Did I spell that right? Whatever. They even have super comfy toilets at their house. I love that place. I hate my stupid toilet and shower. I’m going to frown everytime I walk in that 3 square foot bathroom of mine from now on.

Stacy and I finished my day off with more food. Duh. We went to a restaurant called Slater’s 50/50 that makes their burgers 50% beef, 50% bacon. Yeah, you heard me. It was awesome. I piled mine on lettuce with all kinds of fixings. And ate until I was uncomfortable. Why? No clue, but it was damn good.

that looks like mush

Oh, and I ate some beer battered chili cheese fries. Oops.

I think it’s time for me to detox. Not because I had “a slip up” or “a bump in my paleo road.” No, I need a detox because I had a damn good vacation with damn good food. Not once did I have a stomach ache (other than the alcohol induced one), not once did I feel like I used to when I ate wheat. I just felt happy, because I was having stuff I normally don’t and smiling throughout all of it. I didn’t feel guilty, I didn’t feel like I was falling into food remorse, I just felt stoked to be eating food I don’t normally eat.

In conclusion, I ate, drank, ate, slept, and hung out with Daryl lots. It was magical. Even Stacy’s dog seemed to really like me which is strange because I only like a few select dogs on this planet. I guess he wanted to be one of them.

It seems to be that everytime I fly back from California, I am given the opportunity to watch New Girl as I fly. This will be why I continue my dedication to United. Honestly the sole reason why.