Making desserts is failing me HARD lately. But then I try the dessert a second time around and BOOM, it works out beautifully. Like this one. I tried making pastry cream for the first time and it sucked bad. It tasted delicious but it was like water. Creamy water. Yummmmm. But once I figured my sh*t out and got it together, this beautiful vanilla bean pastry cream came together and rocked my world. I seriously can’t get enough of these. And my husband even said, “Damn babe, these are awesome.” Which is a big deal. He tries not to stroke my only child ego unless I REALLY deserve it. So make this because my husband says so. And also, you’ll need the leftover pasty cream for another recipe that is BOMB. Stay tuned for that one…I’m making it today so it could be another failure.
But for reals, if you’re hosting a dinner party and want to look like you know what you’re doing, you should totally make these. I never know what I’m doing, but if I can pull this off, you definitely can. And they are just so adorable that you’ll hate your guests for actually eating them and your relationship will be strained, but it will all be worth it, showing the world that you can make a cream tart.
It’s official. I’m done with my first 2 week set of invisalign. And I’m over it. I have a total of 10 sets and if all goes as planned, that means only 9 to go. It’s really not that bad, but it’s annoying and I’d rather not have them in. So I’m eating more often just to give myself an excuse to take them out. Which has led to a current sugar obsession. Hence the recipe you are looking at right now. I ended up having to throw some of the tarts away to keep myself from going face deep. I can always feel when a sugar addiction is happening and it’s ON this week. Sugar is crazy. And the devil.
You guys, are you as obsessed as I am with the whole Calvin Harris-Taylor Swift-Some Guy Named Tom drama? I guess it’s not drama, it’s just someone breaking up then dating someone else. Which I have done many times in my life before marriage. I don’t know why I feel so interested. 1. I’m not huge into famous people, mostly because they make me jealous and feel bad about myself since I don’t have enough money to make it rain everywhere I go. And 2. Maria Menounos annoys the sh*t out of me on E! News so I had to stop watching it years ago and get my life together. But I can’t help being obsessed with TSwift’s love life. Maybe I need to cut myself off cold turkey from both TSwift and sugar. My obsessions run deep…must.stop.now.
WAIT, speaking of famous people, did you guys see the ESPN special on OJ Simpson? Not the one with actors, but the one with real people who were involved and it had all sorts of history in it. I thought it was SO interesting. For me, since I think sports are annoying AF and because I was super young, I knew nothing about OJ or really what was going on with our country at the time. And to watch all of that and everything I missed out on because I was playing with building blocks instead of watching TV, it was super interesting to see. And crazy because there were so many pieces of it that I had no idea about. But how were they able to say the F word and N word and show boobs and actual detailed photos from the crime scene on ESPN? That didn’t make sense. It was really hard to watch and listen to sometimes. That story is effing crazy. Now the question is…do you think he did it or didn’t? I can’t say my opinion because I’ll get hate mail no matter what I think. I wish you guys could read the email I get sometimes. Crazy ish right there.
On a much lighter note, you should totally make these. How perfect are these for 4th of July parties? Come on, make em, do it, peer pressure, dooooooo itttttt. No need to be intimidated, I promise! If I can pull these off after failing hard, anyone can!
- 1½ cup almond flour
- ¼ cup + 1 tablespoon coconut flour
- ¼ cup + 1 tablespoon tapioca flour
- ½ teaspoon baking soda
- 4 tablespoons ghee
- 4 tablespoons maple syrup
- 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
- 1 14-ounce can of full fat coconut milk
- 5 eggs yolks
- ¾ cup maple sugar
- ¼ cup tapioca flour
- a pinch salt
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 vanilla bean, cut open lengthwise and beans removed with the back of a knife
- 1 tablespoon unsalted butter or ghee
- juice of 2 limes
- 1 tablespoon water
- 1 heaping tablespoon honey
- zest of ½ lime
- ⅓ cup blueberries
- ⅓ cup blackberries
- ⅓ cup raspberries
- ⅓ cup strawberries
- mint leaves
- organic powdered sugar (optional)
- Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Grease five 4-inch tart pans. Add all ingredients for the crust into a food processor and pulse until completely combine. The dough should combine into a slight ball once combine. Divide the dough evenly throughout the 5 tart pans and use your fingers to press dough around evenly throughout the pan, pressing the dough higher on the sides to create a slight bowl shape. Use a fork to poke holes in the crust to keep the crust from rising as it bakes. Bake crust for 15 minutes, until slightly golden brown. Remove then let crust cool completely for about 30 minutes.
- Place coconut milk in a small saucepan over medium heat. Heat for about 3-5 minutes, until coconut milk begins to foam, but not boil.
- While the coconut milk is heating, place egg yolks and maple sugar in a mix bowl and beat with a hand mixer on high speed for about 4-5 minutes, until the yolks become thick and pale. Once thick, reduce mixer speed and add tapioca flour and salt and beat until completely combine.
- When the coconut milk is warm, slowly pour half of the coconut milk into the mixing bowl with the mixer on low speed. You want to do this slowly so the eggs can come up to temperature with the coconut milk without scrambling so slowly pour in a stream while mixing.
- When combined with ½ the coconut milk, pour all of the egg mixture from the mixing bowl into the saucepan with the rest of the coconut milk, and whisk constantly over medium heat until thickened. This will take about about 10 minutes constantly whisking depending on the heat. Be sure to constantly whisk throughout the process to keep the eggs from sticking to the bottom and scrambling. Once bubbles occur and mixture thickens and reduces, continue for about 1 minute more.
- Remove from heat and add vanilla extract and vanilla bean along with unsalted butter and whisk until combine.
- Fill a large bowl with ice and place a small glass bowl inside of it (this will help the cream cool quicker). Pour the pastry cream through a sieve and into the small glass bowl to cool. Use plastic wrap to cover the cream, pushing it onto the top of the cream to keep it from getting a skin on it while it cools in the fridge. Place in fridge to cool for about 15-20 minutes. It should be COMPLETELY cooled before using.
- Whisk together the ingredients for the glaze. When both the crusts and cream are completely cool, begin to fill each tart with 1-2 tablespoons of the cream.** Remember that you will be adding the weight of the berries so be careful with spilling over. Then add the berries however you prefer to decorate them on each tart. Cover the whole tart with berries or just the side like a did. Use a spoon to pour some of the lime glaze on top of the berries then garnish with mint leaves and a sprinkling of powdered sugar for a little extra glam, if you prefer.
- Eat up, you lovely, hard working person! You did it!
**Remember, you'll have leftover pastry cream (about ¾-1 cup), keep that for my Vanilla Berry Cupcakes with Vanilla Bean Pastry Buttercream!
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