Powell, year two, has come to a close. This year I am much less tan and much less hung over. We didn’t have the best of luck weather wise. But we still made the best of the rain and cold.
Ok, let’s review. 19 people, 6 of which were women, piled onto a house boat last week to be forced to hang out with each other for 5 days. And when you get rain on a lake, there’s really no where to go but inside the boat. We should have known what to expect when we had to drive in pouring rain for at least 4+ hours. Rain ruins everything. Except crops and lake depth. But that’s besides the point. Once I got to Powell, I came to find out my entire suitcase had been soaked from the rain. And there was no way any of that was going to fully dry, so I just gave up on it and decided to wear mildew clothes. Delicious.
I could talk for a loooong time about everything we did in Powell, but people have small attention spans. Meaning me. So I’m going to give you my favorite and least favorite things that happened in Powell. Ok ready? Sit tight.
- Tubing. We had this sweet tube that sat four, semi comfortably. Well, one day when the rain wouldn’t let up, we drank bloody Mary’s and shots of vodka for breakfast and decided to brave the day. Four of us girls jumped on the tube like annoying drunk college girls would do, and got to tubing. Meaning almost dying. All I could keep saying was ‘this is the most fun I’ve had in my entire liiiiiife’ Exaggeration? Absolutely. But it felt that way until I woke up with a terrible hangover and a neck ache that felt like I was in a willow smith music video. And my friend Sarah had a black eye. Tubing is scary.
- Bloody Mary’s on the boat while the sun is rising. I’ve come to find out I really only like bloody Mary’s as my drink of choice. Nothing else, honestly.
- Treading water for 30 minutes waiting for a guy to get up on the surfboard. It gets boring to watch someone fail 34 times in a row, so a couple of us left the boat and treaded water for about 30 minutes trying to be dolphins and tread with our arms over our heads. Definitely the most exercise I got in 5 days.
- One of the 6 females on the boat was an amazing cook. And made food for all of us almost every meal. She made sure all of us were fed, then would pack sandwiches for all the guys because they are all too drunk to think about food, then she would get all the food ready to go at night. It was crazy. And awesome. I love when other people feed me.
- Seeing what people choose to wear on theme nights. We had 3 theme nights this trip. Duck dynasty, Baywatch, and superhero underwear themes. Superhero underwear was by far the best. Guys looooove being in little tiny underwear and getting to dance around in them. I saw way more skin than I’d really ever like to see. Like, ever.
- Beer Olympics. We set up a beer Olympics course that included flip cup, a slide off the boat, paddle boarding, beer chugging, then paddle boarding once more. It was awesome. Especially since that was pretty much the only exercise I got, other than treading water. Oh, and laughing so hard while tubing that I actually peed myself. Laughing is totally exercise. And peeing.
- Setting up a fire in a cave near our beach. Well, I didn’t set up the fire, but I watched the guys do it. Then I hiked up the mountain side to sit by the fire. Guys love fire. They were so proud of themselves. Especially since they had found a giant root of a tree and brought it back to the house boat on their wakeboard boat. I saw weird stuff on this trip. No but seriously. Imagine a boat coming back with a whole tree sticking out of the back. PICTURE IT!
- The fireworks show the guys on the boat put on. We had two fireworks show, but the second one was the best because we all sprawled out on the beach and watched the fireworks that blew up over the water. And sometimes in the water. I see why fireworks are illegal in Colorado, but man are they cool.
- A grown man throwing a fit about not being able to cook Mac &cheese because “he’s pretty much a professional chef” and then proceeding to burn the hot dogs. You’re such a professional, bro.
- When I took off my jacket to go tubing, leaving it in a cubby of the boat, and came back to a semi soaked jacket that smelled like football pads. It smelled so bad, I decided to brave the freezing cold and the pellet rain instead of wearing the jacket.
- Smelling the houseboat after 5 days on the lake. People aren’t suppose to poop on the boat, but it definitely happens. The girls who are new and awkward about telling a guy they need to be taken to the floating bathroom are usually the guilty suspects. The bathroom smelled so bad at the end, I had to hold my breath as I walked down the hallway.
- Sunburns on only my chest and shins. It’s the end of summer and the only thing I have to show for it is a tank top tan line and lululemon capris tan line. Everything looks better tan? Bull.
- The rain. Rain should never occur on trips to lake powell. Especially when men are let loose in their superhero underwear and are so intoxicated that they think the lake water feels like a hot tub. Even while shivering.
- Trying to scale down the mountain in the pitch dark. After we watched the fire burn out, only me and one other person were left. With no flash light. In the rain. So we started trying to hike down the small mountain. One side was all rocks, the other was sand. Of course we ended up on the rocky part for a while. The only thing that helped us get down was the one firework that was set off and the lightning that lit up the pitch black sky. I would have failed as a cave person.
- So there is this place that’s called the cathedral in Lake Powell, that’s in the top 10 places to see in Powell. We call it the bat cave. Guessing because there are bats in there. I haven’t seen any, but whatever. Well that is the place we always go to and party. Well this year the water is super low so it’s not exactly the same. All you can do is climb a wall then jump off it. It’s more of a cathartic thing for the guys. I think that’s the right word. I just am still wondering what the 9 other places are like.
- Running out of ice in 3 days. Warm drinks just aren’t the same as cold. Because they’re warm.
That wasn’t that short was it? Oopsies. Thanks for lasting through it with me.