It weirds me out when people are obsessed with bacon. Do not get me wrong, bacon is great. It’s so easy to make, adds a ton of flavor, and I would say 95% of people enjoy bacon. But why be over the top about it? I’ll post a picture of breakfast with 1 or 2 pieces of bacon and I always ALWAYS get a comment about how I didn’t get enough bacon. I ate two pieces along with eggs, salmon, and avocado. Believe me, that’s plenty of fat, ya jackass. Stop being a judgmental bacon person. Nobody likes that person.
So yesterday, after my cookbook manuscript was all finished up, I started Pinteresting the hell out of wedding stuff. How did people think of wedding stuff without Pinterest? There is so damn much to think about. But I love it. Sure I need to figure out bridesmaids colors and what kind of flowers I want, but I’d much rather just look at swimsuits since we are getting married in Jamaica. But can I ask something, why do the swimsuit bottoms keep getting smaller and smaller each year? Because each year, my ass gets bigger. This just ain’t workin’. My whole instagram is filled with CrossFit girls in bikinis that barely cover their cheeks. I mean, they look awesome in them, but what about us girls who need a bit more coverage? You can’t forget about us. I need to stock up on at least 14 swimsuits by wedding time next year. Does anyone has a favorite place to buy swimsuits from other than Victoria Secret, that will cover a good amount of my ass?
Also, I’ve decided something about the wedding dress I’m going to someday buy: I want it to be funky. I don’t want something simple or something expected, I want it to be different. I’m sure every bride says that, but yesterday my friend told me about a designer that has some funky dresses and I fell in love. I can’t wait to actually go shopping and try some dresses on. Next week, I head to Portland for a girls trip and we are planning to do a little dress shopping. Eeeeeek. So fun.
I ate sushi last night and feel like I’m going to vomit today. If I get food poisoning from sushi, my life might as well end.
Do any of you live in Portland or just love Portland? My friend Kyra from Kyra’s Bake Shop gave us a bunch of ideas of where to eat and what to do, but we could always use more! The only thing we have planned so far is to drink mimosas and try on dresses. All good decisions are made on champagne, everybody knows that.
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
- In a large bowl, add the maple syrup, maple sugar, smoked paprika, cayenne pepper and salt. Mix well. Then add the bacon to the bowl and toss to coat on all sides.
- Place the bacon in a single layer onto the wire rack on top of foil line baking sheet (feel free to press any remaining leftover sugar onto the bacon). Bake in oven for about 25-35 minutes. Make sure the bacon is almost crispy (it will harden up outside the oven as well)
- Remove from the oven and cool for 5 minutes on the rack.
- Once cool enough to handle, serve at room temperature!
You Like Bacon? You may like this:
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