Yep, I just shouted, literally shouted, two ways at you. Two ways to have your cake and eat it to. In the form of a trifle. I’m surprised I’m even spelling trifle correctly…or at least I think I am. This trifle you can eat with an almond butter cake in the middle OR (if you’re going the no nuts route) with caramel in the middle. THE CHOICE IS YOURS. There I go, shouting again.

You wanna know why I think I’m yelling? Because my face is dying. Legit dying. I had a chemical peel on Friday and I now look like Benjamin Button. The child-old man version. When he was gross looking. Yep, that’s me. Whenever I raise my eyebrows or give someone a dirty look, which I guess occurs often, the lines on my face stay in place. Like I’ve been trapped in time. Because I have a gillion layers on my face that want to come off. My face is pretty much a giant scab. Ew.

I’m not sure what’s worse. The process of getting 8 layers of my face burned off, or dealing with the constant peeling of my face after. Either way, it blows. So this is how it went down.

I sat down in the chair, cheery as can be. Removed my headband, boo. Then she began using a q-tip thing to spread on a clear liquid that smelled like rubbing alcohol and burned like fire onto my face. Well, I don’t know what fire feels like, but that’s how I imagine it to be. Then I would sit there for 6 minutes exactly (a timer was set) with a fan as close my face as I could get it. It helped the burning. Once the 6 minutes was up, another layer was put on my face, making my nostrils burn, then I sat there, unhappily, for another 6 minutes. This went on for 48 minutes. That means 8 layers people. My face was a bit tender afterwards. So I did what anyone would do. I smeared sour cream all over my face. Full fat to be exact. Great cooling agent. And quite hydrating, I might add.

I haven’t worn make up in 3 days AND I’ve been out in public places. Including the gym, the grocery store, and….yeah those are the only two places I’ve gone. But that’s tough enough! I don’t ever leave the house without makeup. Yep, I’m that girl. But you think I want to sing out to the public, “I have acne!! Weeeeeee!!” No bro. So I cover it up.

When I shed my face, I hope to look like Jessica Biel. Especially my ass. Realistic goals, those are what I set.

5.0 from 2 reviews

Strawberry Trifle – TWO WAYS
 
Prep time
Total time
 
Serves: 2
Ingredients
For Caramel Trifle
  • 1 cup caramel
  • 1 cup sliced strawberries
  • 1 cup whipped cream – coconut cream from full fat canned coconut milk*
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
For Almond Butter Cake Trifle
  • ½ loaf of Elana’s Paleo Breakfast Bread
  • 1 cup sliced strawberries
  • 1 cup whipped cream – coconut cream from full fat canned coconut milk*
  • 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar (optional)
Instructions
  1. Gotta do 2 things ahead of time so just stop complaining now please!
  2. Place your full fat canned coconut milk in the fridge to harden up overnight.
  3. Also make your caramel and let cool overnight in the fridge.
  4. Then make your Paleo Breakfast Bread and let cool overnight as well.
  5. When morning comes, so does a trifle!
  6. *Scoop out the coconut cream that has hardened in your can of coconut milk, and leave the coconut water behind for something else. Like drinking, duh.
  7. Place coconut cream in a bowl, add cinnamon and vanilla, and whip! Ta duh!
  8. Slice your strawberries then start assembling.
For the caramel trifle:
  1. Add a layer of strawberries to a bowl or glass or whatever, then a layer of whipped cream, then a layer of caramel, and repeat.
  2. Make the top layer whatever is most visually appealing. Some whipped cream would look awesome!
For the almond butter cake trifle:
  1. Add a layer of strawberries to a bowl or glass or whatever, then a layer of whipped cream, then a layer of paleo breakfast bread (cut into the shape you need), and repeat. Top your entire trifle off with a bit of balsamic vinegar if you like!
  2. Make the top layer whatever is most visually appealing. Some whipped cream would look awesome as well as a drizzle of balsamic vinegar!
Notes
This will serve about 2 people (it made two glasses for Laura and I)

here’s the story, we made the caramel

it was delicious, but the lighting sucked and didn’t show the full delicious effect

so we sat on the floor of my kitchen, laura held up a white towel (one I stole in college) and also held lights

I sprawled out on the floor trying to absord some kind of natural lighting, but it didn’t really work, even for the almond butter cake trifle

and there was always a glare, even if I pretty much rolled on my back to try to get a picture

thank god Laura is such a good sport and stayed patient throughout this terrible picture taking session. like our set up?