After posting an alcoholic beverage last time and getting a little hate about it, I need to make something perfectly clear. A disclaimer, if you will. So here it is. I don’t drink much alcohol. I don’t really like the taste of alcohol. It tastes like poison to me and I would much rather have my drink virgin style. I like a cocktail out once in a while, but other than that, I much prefer dessert over a drink. And I firmly believe that if you’re trying to lose weight or continue at a certain weight, you need to stay away from alcohol. That being said, most people like alcohol. And want better options for their alcoholic beverages. So that’s what I’m here for. To give you better options. I’m not saying alcohol is good for you, I’m not saying sugar is good for you, and I’m also not saying that over eating paleo is good for you. I’m here to tell you that I believe in moderation with better choices than the crap food and drink out there. That is EXACTLY why I created this blog. Now go have a drink and relax, brooooo.
Speaking of relaxing, I kind of thought this week that I would die from a spider bite. At least I think it was a spider. But how the hell am I suppose to know what sort of creature is chomping at my leg while I sleep. Well the small bite turned into a spreading circle that turned into a purple looking bruise. It was so sketch. And itched so bad. But since I hate health insurance and dealing with it, I refused to go to the doctor. That’s where sick people are and I don’t want to get sick. So I let the bite/bruise grow then just got free doctor advice from the nurses and doctors at our gym. That’s the way to do it. I was told it wasn’t infected and shouldn’t worry. Then this morning, I killed a giant creepy spider just trying to wander by while I’m minding my own business on the total. The bastard.
I feel like I shouldn’t be talking about spiders in a Valentine’s Day blog post. Or the toilet. But that’s just how life is, ok? Ok, let’s move on. Now, do you have your Vday plans yet? Here’s what I’m thinking for Vday. Workout in the morning (so I can stuff my face later and feel less guilty about it) then brunch with my single best friend (which BTW makes no sense that she’s still single and I wish I could pawn her off on a gentleman here, pawn her off in a positive, less offensive way) then see ‘How to be single’ with her and my sister in law because anything with Rebel Wilson in it is money, then go to dinner with my lover at a restaurant that wouldn’t take my reservation over the phone and said no spots were left, so I made one with open table. So I’m more so hoping we have a reservation when we show up. I think that’s a pretty damn good Valentine’s Day!
Holy crapola….our wedding is 2 months away!!!
- shaved chocolate (I grated dark chocolate with a zester)
- 1 cup almond milk
- 1½ cups coconut milk or almond milk chocolate ice cream
- ¼ cup chocolate hazelnut spread
- 1 heaping tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 tablespoon maple syrup
- ⅓ cup potato or grape vodka
- Run your fingers under water and wipe the rim of the glass. Place the shaved chocolate on a plate and dip each glass into the shaved chocolate to cover the rim. Repeat with 4 regular sized martini glasses. Place in fridge to chill.
- Place all ingredients for the martinis in a high speed blender and blend until smooth and combine.
- Pour mixture immediately into chilled martini glasses and serve up right away!