Have you ever been so sore, you didn’t even want to eat? Yeah, me neither. But I was so incredibly sore this weekend, I didn’t want to move much. But I did. I moved a lot. Maybe even more than usual. I did the Tough Mudder, worked out with an awesome CrossFitter at an amazing gym, and also got my Mobility Cert. Jealous? I know you are. So let’s recap. Let’s some up the weekend in a few long, drawn on paragraphs. It’s totally worth your time. My life is just a thrilling sh*t show every weekend, I’m sure reading about it just makes you want to dance, huh? Same here. Minus the thrilling sh*t show. But dance, yes.

Ok ok, so Friday was absolutely awesome. I got to wod at CrossFit Lakewood with my girlfriend Meg. I made the terrible decision of doing a 5rm deadlift then a snatch, GHD and pistol wod after. You know why that was a terrible idea? Because my ass is huge. And that’s a lot of muscle/fat to balance on one leg with. Oh, and I had to run 10 miles up a mountain the next day, but that’s besides the point, we’re not to that story yet. So after doing a hell of a wod with the always hilarious and positive Meg, I headed home where I ended up making some breakfast patties that tasted like heaven while I waited to head to Beaver Creek for the weekend for the Tough Mudder.

Once the Domster and I made it up to Beaver Creek, we began making the dinner feast for all of the other people heading up for the race. This is where sh*t gets cool. So get this. None of Dom’s friends eat paleo. Only me. So when we were figuring out dinner, Dom mentioned me making my paleo alfredo because I’ve talked so much about it and everyone else was looking for some kind of pasta dish. So that’s what I did. Everyone was carb loading with the pasta and bread, so I fat loaded with the alfredo instead. Here is what Dom and I made:

  1. Baked pork and italian sausage meatballs
  2. Lasagna
  3. Meat sauce
  4. Garlic Bread
  5. Paleo Alfredo
  6. Shrimp Cocktail (We thawed the shrimp. Hard ass work)
  7. Lots of beer (I didn’t consume the beer. Beer tastes like dog food.)

So when we served up dinner, I was a bit nervous about what all the non-paleo eaters would think. I mean, I like any food combination together. Eating meat for breakfast is my favorite thing. And I’ll happily mix all my food into one pile of overwhelming, random flavors. But before I ate paleo, I know I was much pickier, so I was a bit frightened of what they would think. But they loved it! Or at least they said they did. They could be liars though. Anyways, the dinner was a great success and we ended the night by playing Uno. Have you ever played Uno with 6 people? It sucks ass. It was the longest game of Uno everrrrrrr. We finally had to end the game when Lee (Dom’s friend) began crawling under the table to chase the dog. Longest game of Uno ever = many beers consumed.

This is making me dizzy.

Paleo Alfredo

Dom's pretty plate.

The next morning, after consuming leftovers and drinking as much coffee as possible to shake out the morning nerves (if you know what i’m sayin..) we headed up the mountain for the Tough Mudder. Our heat went off at 9am and all of us were definitely a bit nervous before we started. So we decided that after every obstacle, we would do a little jig to keep spirits high. Well actually, I think we just all like to dance, so that was just an excuse to do so. The race was pretty intense though. It was hilarious how excited everyone was for the first minute and then the teams went completely silent once they had to start hiking at 8,000 feet, STRAIGHT up a mountain side. That’ll get ya winded. I finally understand why I don’t like hiking though. That sh*t sucks. I would much rather do other things than hike. If I hadn’t paid $100+ for this race, I would have hiked for 10 minutes then sat and picked my nose instead. Kidding….kind of.

So this race was 10 miles long. Something like 13 obstacles were in it. And it was hard. Definitely tough. But it had every cool element in it. It had trail runs, under water obstacles, carrying logs, electrical shocks, and mud pits. I had to pee at mile 7 but thank goodness held it together. But the best part of the entire competition was camaraderie. Cliche but seriously, so true. The people were amazing. Everyone helped everyone. Everyone cheered each other on. And everyone pushed through pain and sometimes injury. The people who enter a race like this know exactly what they are taking on and are brave enough to do so, that’s effing cool. I honestly wish I could have met every single person at that event. Taking a step back and thinking about the day makes me appreciate the people out there. I’ve never seen so many smiling faces after being electrocuted. Absolutely awesome race. If you did not partake in it, you suck, and you need to next year. Sign up now.

So we finished the day off with a delicious meal at The Dusty Boot. I had myself a delicious bacon burger with sweet potato fries (surprised, aren’t you??). I pretty much licked my plate, then finished off Dom’s sweet potato fries as well. Dear lord. I don’t know what happened in my body that makes me ALWAYS eat more than men. Seriously though, I eat a lot. Too much. My butt increases in size daily. Overwhelming.

Holy Crap that's beauty if i've ever seen it!

So once I woke up the next day, barely being able to walk since I sprained my ankle and was bruised in more places than I knew possible, I headed over to Front Range CrossFit to get my Mobility Cert with the incredibly intelligent Kelly Starett from Mobility WOD. This dude is awesome. I swear he knows everything. The crappy part of it all was because my ankle had turned into a kankle, I wasn’t able to squat or deadlift, or do much of anything. So instead, I listened contently, got hit in the stomach by Starett for not keeping my core tight and overextending when I walk/stand, and figured out how to hopefully fix some of my own mobility issues. I run like an idiot, walk like i’m trying to shove my chest in everyone’s face, and have leg issues that make me tear up when trying to fix them. What I would give to be able to go to his gym and be coached by him. Awesome guy.

Anywho, let’s wrap this up. Are you asleep on your computer? If you made it this far, bravo. I applaud your persistence to push through. So I finished my weekend off with an intense cheat meal. No sure why. I just felt like eating like a true American (say that like A-mrrrr-can). So we had dinner at Steuben’s and went all out. Chicken wings, mac and cheese, french fries, brussel sprouts, a cubano sandwich and a chili lime chicken sandwich were what filled the table. It was pretty dang good. And they are priced pretty fairly! I would definitely check that place out. It’s a super cool retro-feel restaurant with a great patio! I was overly full though, weird, I know. And the strangest part of it all is that the brussel sprouts were my favorite part of the meal. They were definitely tasty. I can’t wait to make my own soon!!

So that was my weekend. I was naughty and cheated on my diet and can’t work it off now since I have a kankle. So I named my gut Fred. Fred is cute. Let me know if you’d like to meet Fred, he’s knows good food.