Days that don’t start with a shower are less than favorable. Believe me, I’m not one to wash my hair every day. Or even every other day. I have to dye it ALL.THE.TIME so I try not to wash it out. But, I do love myself a good wash down. That sounds weird. Anywho, the other day, our duplex neighbors decided to shut off the wash while they went out of state for the holidays. Problem is, it’s our water as well. Yep, we share that water. Not like I’m bathing in their used water or anything, but you get the gist. Well, when the shut it off, it shut ours off. It didn’t matter if it was mid shower, with conditioner in the hair. Nope. It wasn’t coming back on until the landlord got into their house and turned it back on. So I waited, for hours, with conditioner in my hair, wishing I had a glass of water, or could brush my teeth, or could make a cup of coffee. But it did not happen for a couple hours. My hair smelled awesome for the rest of the day.
If you ever wondered if you could run almond milk through your Keurig instead of water…you can’t. Don’t try it.
So when Friday night rolled around, I got a present at my doorstep. A present from lobster.com. Two live lobsters. For some reason, I didn’t expect them to be live. I have no clue why, probably because I’m an idiot, but there they were. Scraping at the box them came in. At first, I freaked the eff out. I don’t know how to cook lobster, I don’t know how to put them into a pot, I don’t want to get pinched because they are hella pissed. But it went fine. I seasoned a pot of water, called two strapping young men to help me, and had them grab the lobsters to put them into the pot. I was too freaked out. But they were kind guys, they made the lobsters nice and comfortable before we killed them. Sorry to be frank, but that’s what you have to do to get food. Kill the animal.
When I added some pictures on instagram of the lobsters, people got pissed. Not all people, but more people than I would think. No one EVER says anything about the cooked sausage I post pictures. Or the cooked chicken. Or the steak. But when it’s a lobster, people say I’m mean and they are unfollowing me. I don’t get that. People never talk about the inhumane treating of cows when I post a picture of a steak I ate. All they say is, ‘omg. my mouth is watering.’ But when it’s a lobster, they say, ‘people would go crazy if you boiled a human alive.’ Like, what? Come on people. Terrible comparison.
I failed on 3 cookie recipes this weekend. THREE. I’m going to try to make them once more today. If they fail, I’d like to act like I will get really mad. But I’ll probably just cry. Stupid paleo cookies.
- 1 large butternut squash
- 3 tablespoons fat of choice (bacon fat, coconut oil, ghee, butter, etc.)
- ¼ teaspoon garlic powder
- ¼ teaspoon onion powder
- salt, to taste
- 1 pound ground pork
- ½ yellow onion, minced
- 2 garlic cloves, minced
- salt and pepper, to taste
- 10 pieces of bacon
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
- Cut the bulb off of the butternut squash and just use the end. It's just easier to work with. Cut the skin off the butternut squash then dice the butternut squash into bit size pieces.
- Place butternut squash on a parchment paper lined baking sheet. Pour choice of fat on top of butternut squash, sprinkle with garlic and onion powder and salt, mix well to coat the squash.
- In a bowl, mix together ground pork, onion, garlic cloves, and salt and pepper until well combined.
- Make 10 equal sized meatballs.
- Cut all pieces of bacon in half. Wrap a half piece of bacon around the meatball, then the other piece in the opposite direction. Tuck the ends of the bacon underneath the meatball then place it cut side down on a parchment paper lined baking sheet.
- Place both baking sheets in the oven and bake for 25-30 minutes, until butternut squash is soft and meatballs are firm.
- Serve with a green, because then you feel super healthy. And colorful.