So I finally did it. I gave in and bought a donut pan. Why? Because donuts remind me of a simple time in my life. A time when I used to swim on summer club, eat a dozen donuts, then win a race. And I didn’t have a spot of cellulite anywhere near my plump little butt. It wasn’t until puberty completely set in, that I knew donuts would no longer be part of my daily routine. I gave up my donuts, I gave up my happiness, and I gave up my pure daily joy. Ok, not totally. But kind of. I f*cking love donuts.
This is totally my version of a jelly donut. I never really liked jelly donuts growing up. I think mostly because they seemed too healthy for me. Jelly = fruit. Fruit = healthy. Healthy = I don’t want anything to do with it. That was pretty much until I started eating paleo. Healthy things always sounded boring. And I hate boring things. Like most guys. Most guys are boring. Where them cool guys at?
Speaking of cool guys, I’ve finally come to grips with something. I dig Justin Bieber. Yes I do. I don’t care if I lose readers because of it. My name is Juli and I sing Bieber tunes at the top of my lungs while driving. I don’t even care. It feels so right. It’s like how guys absolutely love the song ‘Call Me Maybe’. It feels kind of wrong and they don’t know why they love it, but they know every single word to the song. Everyone should start to learn to love Bieber. Especially now that he has gotten past the awkward hair-do, teenage years. He’s a man now. With 3 chest hairs. Go on with your bad self Bieber.
I’m at a coffee shop as I type this. There are prooooobably 4 flies that have become pretty intensely acquainted with me and my hair. And there is a bee that is trying his hardest to get outside by smashing his face continuously onto the window, while the door is a good 3 feet away. You dumb bee. Survival of the fittest will not be working in your favor, obviously. Oh, and I just noticed that my computer has chocolate on it, sweet potato chip crumbs within in, and I can barely see the screen because it’s so smudged from oily fingers. Damn oil cleansing. And paleo cookies.
I can’t talk anymore. I’m in a donut coma.
For the donuts
- 8 medjool dates, pitted
- 1/2 cup blueberries
- 1/4 cup coconut oil, melted
- 4 eggs, whisked
- 4 tablespoons coconut flour
- 2 tablespoons raw honey
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
- juice of 1 lemon (equivalent to 2-3 tablespoons lemon juice)
- zest of 1/2 lemon
- pinch of salt
For the jam
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Pull out your handy dandy donut pan. Don't have one? Buy one. I got mine at Bed, Bath and Beyond.
- Add your pitted dates to your food processor and puree until they begin to clump.
- Then add your ½ cup of blueberries and puree.
- Lastly, add you coconut oil, vanilla extract, raw honey, lemon juice and lemon zest to the food processor and puree together.
- Add your mixture to a large bowl and mix in eggs, coconut flour, baking powder, and salt and mix thoroughly.
- Pour your donut mixture into your donut pan up to the top of the donut rim. My mixture made exactly 6 medium sized donuts.
- Bake for 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean when you poke a donut with one.
- Let cool.
- While your donuts cool, make your jam.
- Add all ingredients to a saucepan, except for the water, over medium heat, breaking up the coconut cream concentrate as the mixture heats up.
- Stir frequently to keep from burning on the bottom. Cook for about 10 minutes, or until most of the blueberries have exploded. Then add your water.
- Mix together one more time.
- Use a spoon to top your cooled donuts off with the blueberry lemon jam.
- Eat soon because the jam will get the donuts a bit soggy over time.
- Store in an air tight container in the refrigerator.
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