I need to speak my mind right now. Right here and now. I hate dressing rooms. And I hate trying on clothes. It’s stupid. Nothing fits perfectly anymore. I remember when I was younger and thinner and had a flat butt…everything fit then. But now I have a donk and my thighs rumble with every step. This means clothes do not fit like a glove, they fit like foil fits around a baked potato. Not that pretty, but still does the job. That’s how I felt while shopping today. I usually can find shirts to fit for the most part…ok let’s be realistic, I mean sports bras, that’s all I usually wear on a daily basis. But pants….AH HELL NO. I went to Lululemon today and let me tell you, their sh*t is cute. But it’s STUPID expensive. It’s great quality and I understand you have to pay for great sewing and quilting and whatever else you do to make clothes, but come on. I literally ALWAYS smell and I’m going to spend $108 on a pair of spandex pants that will just enhance that smell? Yes, yes I will. And I did. Ugh. But anyways, while trying on these skin tight ass-dimple showing pants, I was lucky enough to get a 360 view of my naked body…in terrible lighting. Stupid. If I were the owner of Lululemon and had men and women throwing away their grocery money on clothes that make you look stylish while moving at a quick pace (aka-exercising), I would be hella sure that the lighting was fantastic. Mood lighting. The soft kind. That hides every crevice and dimple on the body and makes every person feel like they should be a centerfold in Playboy because of how fantastic their butt looks in a pair of spandex. But that’s just me and my genius mind at work. I still bought the clothes even though my ass looked huge. So I guess my ideas are meaningless. Fail.
So I have literally no idea how I came up with this recipe. I had ground chicken, I had just bought canned pumpkin, and I really like curry sooooo it actually makes a lot of sense. Why not mash them all together to make combination of excellence? Done and done. But a bit of a forewarning, this is a bit messy to make. They don’t stick together as nicely as regular burgers do. But they’re not regular burgers. They’re sliders. Mini burgers. And they more flare to them, aka curry. So when you try to make patties, seriously don’t even try to make these things look like real patties. They look more like meringues or macaroons, a bit spiky. Like a chia pet, except not at all. Just don’t be anal people.
- 1.5 lbs ground chicken
- ¼ cup canned pureed pumpkin
- 1 cup almond flour
- 2-3 tablespoons curry powder (I used A LOT so you don't need to go crazy if curry isn't your totes fav thing)
- 1 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1 teaspoon granulated onion
- ½ teaspoon salt
- ¼ teaspoon black pepper
- 1-2 tablespoons your choice of fat
- Add all ingredients together in a large bowl. Mix well to combine.
- Heat up a decent sized skillet under medium-high heat and add a bit of fat to the pan to coat.
- Use a large spoon to scoop up a ball of the pumpkiny meat and slightly shape with your hands. No need to be anal, you'll be smashing them later anyways.
- Add your dolloped spoonfuls of pumpkiny meat to the skillet to cook.
- Once the bottom end of the dollop has seared on the bottom and a bit brown, use a spatula to flip it and smoosh it down a bit to make a flatter patty.
- Cover and let cook for about 3 minutes.
- Eat however you'd like. I ate with veggies. It was ridiculous delish.