I’m really good at transforming my hair. Manipulating, if you must. I’ve manipulated it to the point that it almost thinks it’s actually brunette. I’m actually a blond (ohhhh here come the jokes, way to be original you assf*ck) but disagree with what my genes gave me. So I dye it regularly. Like every 3 weeks regularly. Effing expensive. And no my hair doesn’t fall out, that’s what happens when you bleach it, you idiot. Holy sh*t with the insults around here. I need to calm it down.
Anywho, I’ve began to teach my hair how to stand up straight. You see, with my overwhelming need to wear a headband 24/7, my hair tends to get messed with a lot. Messed with meaning broken. You can’t wear a headband all day, everyday, and expect it look good when you don’t wear one. It’s just dumb. And that’s the issue I’ve been dealing with. In my goals to become more of a lady, I’ve tried to minimize my headband time. But I look weird without a headband. And all the hairs that broke off are now baby hairs. That stand up straight directly at the top of my forehead. That’s not cute people. So I’m forewarning all you headband wearers out there. Split ends are in your future. You’re welcome.
Well since that was an epically boring story, I’ll move on. I had lebanese food the other night. DAMN that meat was good. I had chicken, lamb, and a slab of meat that was lamb and beef mixed together. Holy crap. Smart. I loved every second of it. And the company with was pretty fantastic, not gonna lie. Good smile. This restaurant’s hummus was to die for! Yes, I know hummus is not paleo you freak. And I don’t even care about hummus, but it was AWESOME. Ethiopian and Lebanese food can be checked off my “food I want to try in my lifetime” list. What should I try next, hmmmmm??
- 1 tablespoon olive oil
- 1 lb chicken breast
- ½ cup chicken broth (use a little more if you want it more “soupy”)
- 1 (14 oz) can diced tomatoes
- 1 yellow onion, sliced or diced
- ½ (14 oz) jar of roasted red peppers
- 2 cloves of garlic, peeled and smashed (just smash it was the side of a knife)
- 1 tablespoon chili powder
- 2 teaspoons cumin powder
- 1 teaspoon oregano
- 1 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1 teaspoon salt
- pepper, to taste
- 3-4 tablespoons cilantro, diced
- 1 head of cauliflower
- ½ lime, juiced squeezed
- 1 tablespoon olive oil
- pinch of salt
- Pull out your hand dandy crockpot. People have been asking for more crockpot recipes so HEAR YA GO!!!! hooooooo ray!
- Literally throw all your crockpot ingredients into the crockpot. Mix around. Turn on high for 3.5-4 hours or until your chicken is shredable (is that a word?) with two forks. I love shredded meat.
- When your crockpot only has about 30 minutes to go, preheat your oven to 400 degrees.
- Pull out a baking dish to prepare your cauliflower. Pull off all the leaves and cut off the stem, then dice your cauliflower into smaller florets and place in baking dish.
- Sprinkle with olive oil and salt. Put in oven and baking for 20-25 minutes or until cauliflower is tender.
- Once the cauliflower is done cooking, grab your food processor with the shredding attachment. Add cauliflower and rice it up!
- Add riced cauliflower to a bowl. Chop your cilantro and add that right into your rice. Squeeze some lime juice over the top and mix together.
- Once your chicken is all cooked in your crockpot, take a fork and shred the chicken directly in the crockpot. Then pour ingredients over cauliflower rice. Slice an avocado and put that on top.