So the other night, when Laura, Sergio, and I went to club it up, I had this lotion that I put on because I thought it smelled awesome. Like for reals good. It’s that kind of lotion you put on and instantly feel more attractive because you’re oozing smells of lust. That’s how I would explain it at least. So I squeezed on some of the lotion and instantly asked Sergio to tell me how good I smelled….he said I smelled like a stripper. WINNING. Not really.
Speaking of things that smell….my friend Jake got his stolen car back a couple days ago…I don’t think it smells ok in there. Wanna know why? This is why, please read Jake’s facebook status:
“well…3 weeks later, they found my truck. on top of that they got the guys who did it, along with 5 back packs full of meth, 2 hatchets, 1 sword, a bunch of stolen goods….and gay porn and lube.”
You can imagine what the comments were like to that status. I couldn’t stop laughing. It’s not that funny, it’s actually REALLY scary, but still. It’s kinda funny. He’s getting a new truck. They had to clean needles out of it. That’s even more scary. And not funny. Sorry Jake. I’m a bad friend.
I’ve come to a decision about something. Recently, I tried to back off the coffee and start drinking some tea. I don’t know why. I do dumb sh*t like this. I like caffeine. Like a lot. And I like the taste of coffee. Tea taste like dirty water. Seriously. Don’t write me telling me about tea that tastes good because the only tea that gets me going is tea that is filled with 1/3 cup of honey. So really, sugar water is what gets me going. I’m easy to shop for.
- 2lbs chicken breasts
- 1 yellow onion, chopped
- 1 green bell pepper, chopped
- 1 (4oz) can of chopped jalapenos
- 1 (4oz) can of chopped green chiles
- 2 tablespoons coconut oil
- 1 (14oz) can of diced tomatoes
- 1 (7 oz) can tomato sauce
- 3 garlic cloves, minced
- 1 tablespoon cumin
- 1 tablespoon chili powder
- 2 teaspoons dried oregano
- salt and pepper, to taste
- bundle of cilantro, to garnish
- avocado, to garnish
- Pull out your handy dandy crockpot.
- Add your chicken breasts.
- Then add the rest of the ingredients on top, in any order.
- Put on low for 8-10 hours or high for 6-8.
- After it's done cooking, use tongs to pick at the chicken to shred it in with all the ingredients.
- Top with cilantro and some avocado.
- Eat up!!