Wanna hear a cool story?
Maybe you’ve noticed that my Twitter handle is PaleOhMyGoodnes? Or you’ve searched for @paleomg on Twitter and been confused with what you found? No? You think Twitter is dumb? Cool. Me too. But stick with me here. Someone already had the paleomg handle when I signed up for Twitter so I just took a different name. Well the poor guy who had that Twitter handle began to get a bunch of requests from CrossFitters and food enthusiasts so he did some research and found out who people were trying to contact. Could you imagine if you were just minding your own business on Twitter and people were sending you pictures of barbacoa and thanking you for the paleo muffin recipe? I would be annoyed. WTF is paleo. And why is someone sending me this picture of shredded meat that looks like dog food? Poor guy. Anywho, he contacted me and gave me the @paleOMG Twitter handle. Holy balls, how nice is that?! So if you need me, I won’t be on Twitter, I hate it, but you can at least act like I am. @paleOMG. Or follow me on instagram @paleOMG. I like that thing more. Thank you random Justin of the Twitter world. Your kindness and coolness is appreciated!
That story sucked didn’t it? Here’s a better one.
After consuming multiple shots of vodka on Saturday night; some cold, some warm, some sweet, some jaw droppingly painful, Laura and I wobbled on home to consume an entire bag of sweet potato chips. When I woke up in the morning (no chips in my teeth, I brushed them while intoxicated, NBD) I giggled while I stumbled to the kitchen to grab a glass of ice water. I then made the conscious decision to lay back in bed, while still holding the full glass of water, and proceeded on to fall back asleep. Pretty much instantly, I poured the entire glass of water onto my chest, spring break style, then threw the glass across the room and onto the floor. A lot of things were wet after this disaster:
- my chest. stop thinking dirty things. perve.
- my bed. i’m just happy it wasn’t other childhood habits coming back to haunt me.
- the floor, including a pile of clothes I refused to fold over an entire week.
- and my wall. which seeped onto the floor. so really just the floor.
So you know what I did? I scooted over and went back to sleep until Laura came in to wake me up for breakfast at Wild Eggs with Sergio, Jon, and Tom. I like Sunday breakfast time, out on the patio, after a big night out. Reflecting is a healthy habit.
- 1lb Grass Fed Ground Beef
- 1 pineapple, cored and sliced (see my fantastic pics below)
- 1 yellow onion, sliced thin
- 1 tablespoon chipotle chili powder
- 2 garlic cloves, minced
- ½ teaspoon onion powder
- ½ teaspoon coarse sea salt
- ½ teaspoon black pepper
- 2 avocados
- juice of 1 lime
- juice of ½ lemon
- 1 tablespoon hot sauce (your favorite will do)
- 1 teaspoon chipotle chili powder
- 1 teaspoon olive oil
- pinch of salt
- Light your grill! I love grilling season.
- Now you should first slice your pineapple. I have no idea how to cut a pineapple very well but I try, so you can look at my pictures if that actually helps.
- Use a big knife to cut off both ends of the pineapple, then stand the pineapple up and slice the sides off. Then cut the pineapple in hamburger slices (remember hamburger vs hotdog in elementary school? good). And finish the pineapple slices off by using a smaller knife to cut out the middle and press it out. Like a donut hole. Cute.
- Then slice your onions.
- Place meat in a bowl, add seasonings and mix thoroughly. Like hard core. Get in there.
- Make 4 burger patties and flatten them out a bit.
- Place onions, burgers, and pineapple on the grill at the same time. Try not to place pineapple over direct flame because it can burn pretty easily, being sugar and all.
- Flip when grill marks become present, after about 5 minutes and cook about the same amount of time on the other side of until burgers are cooked to preference and pineapple is a bit charred and soft.
- Cut avocados in half, remove the seed, then scoop out the insides and place in your food processor.
- Turn food processor on and let the avocado begin to break down. After about a minute, while your food processor is still running, add the rest of the ingredients for the avocado cream and keep pureeing until smooth: about 1-2 minutes.
- Place a burger down, top it with pineapple, then a grilled onion, and then a dollop of avocado cream on top!