I don’t want to cook. Obviously. It’s not that I don’t want to cook for my website, it’s that I don’t even want to cook for myself. Last week in California, I took cooking to the extreme. This week, I’d rather just stuff my face with burgers from Park Burger or shredded pork from Cuba Cuba. I don’t want to slice vegetables or think about different spices that would taste good in a certain meat, I just want feel full. I even drank two Suja juices the other day so I wouldn’t have to eat until dinner, which wasn’t that fun. Turns out, drinking your meals is really not quite as satisfying. Who knew? Oh that’s right, everyone.

But I did try yesterday. I tried to make something with pumpkin, but it failed. It failed big time. Like, I-can’t-even-salvage-this, big time. Shame. Pumpkin is so in right now. It’s so hip. I guess you will have to wait until next week for another pumpkin extravaganza. I just had to sound that word out. Wow. I think I’m tired today. Anywho, after that recipe sh*t the bed, I grabbed what I had in my fridge and I pulled from what I stole from Sergio’s breakfast that morning. He made some concoction of ground turkey, avocado, and tomatoes. So I pretty much copied him. So I can’t call this original or a recipe, really. Sorry about that. My b, my b.

I went to a baseball game the other night. And I didn’t hate it. Weird. Probably because I had a double vodka soda in me, but I actually had fun. I saw a bat break, which I’ve never seen in real life. And I saw some fly balls. And I saw some attractive people. Not the players, though. I don’t know why women get their panties in a twist over professional athletes. Probably because they are gold diggin’ hoes, but if you look real close at those athletes, most of the time they are not attractive. And they are around 4’8″. They just look attractive on the field. It’s like the field gives you drunk goggles or something. I know who is attractive though. Eric Decker. I don’t even know if that’s how you spell his name, but he and his crazy gorgeous wife are going to have a new reality show on E! which will give me another reason to waste an hour of my life on Sundays. Glorious.

So I’m officially obsessed with a certain kind of dog. I recently told you that I was thinking about getting one, but when I say that, that means in the next two years. When I have my own place, I’m not traveling, and I feel like taking care of another creature. Gotta get that only child selfish syndrome out of me while I’m young. So as I’ve thought through the millions of dogs I could fall in love with, I recently met a baby French bull dog. And I almost died. Love at first sight. And after researching them and looking at hashtags of french bull dogs on instagram, I’ve decided that’s what I want. Sometimes, when I’m bored, I look through the millions of pictures people post online and I save them to my phone to look at when I’m sad for 2.8 seconds during my day. Sad usually means I’m just bored. But man do those cute little faces make me smile. You know how you look at people’s dogs and just don’t get how they think they are cute…I get it now. My french bull dog is going to be freaking awesome. I can’t wait to meet him in 2-3 years.

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My I-Don’t-Want-To-Cook Meal
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
Serves: 2-3
Ingredients
  • 1 pound ground turkey
  • ½ yellow onion, minced
  • 1-2 tablespoons hot sauce (depending how hot you want it)
  • 1 (14 ounce) can of diced tomatoes, drained
  • ½ tablespoon garlic powder
  • salt and pepper, to taste
  • 1 avocado, mashed
  • 1 tablespoon lime juice
  • salt, to taste
Instructions
  1. Place ground turkey and yellow onion in a pan over medium heat.
  2. Mix and break up the turkey until cooked through and no more pink appears.
  3. Add hot sauce, diced tomatoes, garlic powder, and salt and pepper. Mix well.
  4. Mash avocado, add lime juice to the avocado and a pinch of salt.
  5. Place turkey mixture in a bowl and top with mashed avocado.