If you read my blog often, you obviously are a good person, with a spectacular sense of humor,  AND you know my latest obsession…broccoli. And if you’ve been reading my recent posts, you know that I’ve been consuming stupid amounts of broccoli the last few weeks.  My friend Tom said he could even smell it on me the other day. Healthy? Not really sure about that. Actually it is healthy. I’ve had to be sure to floss multiple times a day now because of the broccoli seeds stuck in my teeth…I’m sure my classes love seeing that when I coach. Cute. At least my dentist will love me. Anyways, it’s finally time to update you on the amount of broccoli I consumed over a one week period. Don’t get too excited. I consumed….23 heads of broccoli in 1 week. Yes, the broccoli heads were all different sizes, but I would say medium was the average size. I can’t seem to get enough of it. I have it at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Best carb around, hands down. I cook the broccoli in a pan with olive oil, put every sort of garlic seasoning on it, and pour a bit of water on it then cover to steam away. Genius. Easy, but genius.

Let’s just say my digestive tract is quite in order at this point. Eating that many vegetables is intense. Try it. I’ve never eaten so many in my life. Since I cut out fruit all last month, I wanted to be sure I was getting my carbs in with every meal. And since I’ve been going a little wild with the paleo chocolate cake lately, I need to offset it with vegetables. It doesn’t work like that, I know, but I can dream. I’ll have to update you later about not eating fruit. There will be embarrassing before and after pictures up soon. Awesome. I did have a crap ton of grapes last night though and was full so damn fast. Fruit is weird. I’d rather eat broccoli.

Well this entire post has been pointless. Sorry about that. It’s early. And my life is really lacking excitement. I’ll go streaking today so I have something fun to talk about…jail. But the whole point of this post is that I used all those extra broccoli stems for good use. I threw them into a shredder and frittered the crap out of them. Mmmmm fritters. Just sounds delicious. And it was. I ate all of them by myself. I’m such an only child.

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Paleo Broccoli Fritters
 

Ingredients
  • 6-7 broccoli stems, shredded (about 1.5-2 cups)
  • 2 eggs, whisked
  • 1¾ cup almond meal
  • ½ sweet onion, finely chopped
  • 1 tablespoon garlic powder
  • 1 teaspoon minced garlic
  • lots of salt and pepper

Instructions
  1. Send your broccoli stems through a shredder. I used a food processor with the shredding attachment which made it go by super fast.
  2. Add your shredded broccoli to a large bowl along with all other ingredients and mix well.
  3. Heat up a large skillet over medium-high heat with a bit of fat in it. Use a large spoon and your hands to ball up a fritter and add to a skillet. It doesn’t need to be flat, you’ll flatten it out after you flip it.
  4. Cook the fritter for about 3-4 minutes, then use a spatula to flip, then flatten out with the spatula. Cook for another 4 minutes or so.
  5. Once the fritters are crisp on both sides, eat them. I topped mine with a grass fed beef burger. Genius.

the huge bowl of broccoli stems

Broccoli fritter then burger then avocado. Perfection.