So what better place to talk about body hair than a food blog? I don’t like body hair. Let me rephrase that, I don’t like body hair on ME. I like hair on dudes. A hairy chest, love it. Hairy legs, gotta have ‘em. Naked legs freak me out. Hairy back, nah, I’m cool. But hair on me is a no go. Always has been. I started shaving my arms when I was in 7th grade for gosh sakes. That’s a lot of hair down the drain. I’m even a natural blonde so my arm and leg hair is pretty well hidden except in the glimmer of the sunlight, but I just don’t like the look of it.

Anyways, my house is pretty damn cold right now. Multiple reasons.

  1. It’s a damn old house. Old windows. Old doors. Etc.
  2. We have wood floors. I need to buy slippers.
  3. Laura and I refuse to turn the heat on. Even though she makes far more money than me, she’s just as cheap. I love her.
  4. We still have our air conditioning units in our windows…..yeah, that’s probably the main reason why we can see our breath inside. Exaggeration, but you get the point.

Back to the point. This whole it’s-only-29 degrees-in-the-house-during-October thing is making it pretty hard to shave. Who knew you could be cold in a hot shower. Makes no sense right? Well, ya can. And our 2×2 bathroom surprisingly holds no heat, our drain decided to stop draining so we get to stand in our cold dirty water, and our water heater kinda blows so the shower stays luke warm…ALWAYS. So point of the story is goosebumps = difficult shaving. Difficult shaving = no shaving. No shaving = Juli being sexier than ever. That is if you’re into girls with hairy armpits. And legs. And arms. And yes, I did just refer to myself in the third person.

So dudes, stop shaving your legs. I don’t care if you swim 46 miles a day and bike to the effin’ Alps and back. Shaved legs on a dude are creepy. And it means you’re high maintenance. Fact.

Do you think shaved legs on a dude is creepy?

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Balsamic Poached Fig Stuffed Pork

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4 from 2 reviews

Ingredients

Scale
  • 1.52lbs pork loin, cut open for stuffing
  • 1/3 cup pecans, chopped
  • 810 dried figs
  • 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
  • 1.5 cups water
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
  • 1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper
  • salt and pepper, to taste
  • butchers twine for wrapping the pork

Instructions

  1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
  2. First you’ll want to get your liquids very hot to poach your figs in. Add your water and balsamic vinegar together in a saucepan over medium heat. Once the liquids are pretty hot, add in your figs and cover. Let cook for about 15 minutes.
  3. While the figs cook, place your chopped pecans on a cookie sheet and toss with cinnamon, nutmeg, and smoked paprika.
  4. Put pecans in the oven and cook for around 5 minutes or so, being careful to not let them burn.
  5. Once pecans are done cooking, increase the temperature on the oven to 425 degrees.
  6. This is a perfect time to cut open your pork for stuffing, placing the butchers twine underneath it, towards the ends of the loin and in the middle, to wrap with later.
  7. Once the figs are done cooking and have puffed up a bit, pull them out of the liquid and place on a cutting board to cool.
  8. When cooled, chop the figs then fill the inside of the pork loin with the pecans and chopped figs.
  9. Use your butchers twine to tie around the pork and close up the loin completely, especially on the ends.
  10. When the pork is tied off, salt and pepper it and add a bit of ground red pepper on top for a bit of a kick.
  11. Place pork loin in a baking dish and pork water/balsamic liquid over the pork and into the dish to surround it.
  12. Baking for about 20-25 minutes of until internal temperature of pork reaches around 140-165 degrees.
  13. After the pork is done cooking, let rest for about 10 minutes before you cut into that little sucker.
  14. Do not eat twine. You were warned.

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11 Comments

  1. Lindsey n Kris says:

    you crack me up! and I completely agree….
    i feel they make sweat pants for a purpose…winter time and no shaving. my husband can get over me sleeping in sweatpants, he would probably prefer it if he felt these legs! seriously! thank god im blonde
    guys shaving their legs…who would WANT to shave. id rather not ever shave, its a hassle and takes up entirely too much time.

  2. Juli Bauer says:

    Lindsey, I hate shaving. It's dumb. And time consuming. And my drain is clogged. So shaving or showering isn't really occurring at this time.

  3. Damon says:

    Is this what I've been missing over the last week? Body hair blog? Always entertaining Juli. Good news! On cruise boats, they have steamed broccoli available at EVERY meal. You would have been in hog heaven.

  4. rejalicious says:

    IT WAS FOR A COSTUME!!! Geez!

  5. Juli Bauer says:

    lol this was posted before you shaved your legs rej. And don't act like it was JUST for the costume.

  6. Laurie says:

    Tried this last night and I think the fig was just too much sweetness for my husband and I. We still enjoy and appreciate your creativeness though!






    1. juli says:

      Thanks for trying it Laurie!

  7. Jerica says:

    You really make me laugh!! I’m intrigued by this recipe.

  8. Melissa says:

    I made this tonight, and it was AMAZING!!! When I started doing this whole Paleo thing, I thought it was the end of yummy food filled with flavor. Once I found your site, that theory was blown out of the box!!! Thanks for putting the fireworks back in my mouth!

  9. Brad Dieter says:

    May I suggest the worlds greatest slippers to tackle both the cold and slippery problem? My apartment has horrible cold and slippery polished concrete floors (it looks awesome thought and that is obviously the most important thing. . . . ??)

    http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/the-north-face-traction-mule-slipper/3206209?cm_cat=datafeed&cm_ite=the_north_face_traction_mule_slipper:300347_1&cm_pla=shoes:men:slippers&cm_ven=Google_Product_Ads&mr:ad=12528041033&mr:adType=pla&mr:filter=41084237513&mr:keyword=&mr:match=&mr:referralID=NA&mr:trackingCode=D5E85EEE-E616-E111-8116-001517B1882A&origin=pla

  10. Jen says:

    I made this tonight for 6 kids (4 of them are mine) and everyone LOVED it! I did add a small chunk of blue cheese on my plate and sautéed spiced apples for the kids. This was so good! Even my foodie husband enjoyed it. It wasn’t sweet to me at all. I haven’t had any sugar for a year so I would be overwhelmed if it was. Thank you! This is a new favorite