I think I’m recovered from Vegas. I think. I’ve still been going to bed earlier and sleeping in later then I feel like my body is broken, but I think it’s almost over. It’s crazy what lack of sleep can do to you. But those Vegas stories will have to wait until tomorrow. Because it’s Bachelorette recap tiiiiiiiime! Honestly, my Vegas trip has better stories than the Monday night episode, but those stories will be perfect for a Thursday, when you’re just wishing for Friday and don’t want to use your brain anymore. That’s what Vegas is all about.
Ok, first off, can we talk about how hot JoJo looked in every often on the show? I seriously wanted every single dress. She looked so adorable. I wish I was one of her friends and could just let her know how cute she is. She probably knows it, but still, hearing it from other women is just the best.
So before we talk about the dates, I first want to talk about my theories. I feel like Jordan is just like how Shawn was to Kaitlyn: she’s totally, completely into him but she still has to go through the whole show knowing that she’s going to pick Jordan. Could just be the lust from his hair flipping, though. It’s hard to tell. That hair can be pretty damn mesmerizing, if you’re not careful.
I just noticed that I think I went to college with Chase. Weird, eh?
The dates were pretty boring this week. Jordan just dry humped on a yacht and then they swam with seals. I would be 100% not ok with swimming with seals in open water and they were just giggling about it. Don’t those things bite?! Or just come at your head on and ram you because you’re in their space? F*ck no. Not cool with that date. And did you think Jordan got WICKED weird when she brought up the cheating stuff? He got sketchy sketch. Not sure he’s totally trust worthy but that’s usually how I feel about men obsessed with their hair.
But I was into the snowboarding down the sand, except every guy almost broke their neck. I’m so bummed Evan didn’t get a bloody nose, that was my favorite thing about the guy. And how did Wells not break an arm? That guy is just a wittle guy.
What do you think about the competitive swimmer guy saying he’s in love with her? Do you think they just do this to stay in the game and stay remembered? Because there’s NO WAY that they’re in love yet right?! I guess there’s always love at first site but I would think that would be hindered when she has 20 other junks are crowding around her, right? Totally right.
Isn’t it like a rule to not tell someone you love them 3 weeks into dating? I think that’s what they call a stage 5 clinger. And from what I know, people aren’t usually into clingers. But most people aren’t into being on a show that makes you embarrass yourself weekly on a national TV. But I guess love is love.
PS – the guys spreading Chad’s protein powder ashes was my favorite part of the entire 2 hours. Along with Vinny’s skinny jeans. Those were amazing.
- 1 cup cold brew coffee, frozen into ice cube molds overnight
- 1 batch Vanilla Bean Salted Caramel Sauce from Juli Bauer's Paleo Cookbook (using about 2-3 tablespoons for this recipe)
- 3/4 cups almond milk
- 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 tablespoon almond butter
- 2 tablespoons maple syrup
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 10 drops stevia extract (optional)
- Freeze cold brew coffee.
- Make caramel and set aside to slightly cool.
- Place frozen coffee cubes, 2 tablespoons of caramel sauce, almond milk, cocoa powder, almond butter, maple syrup, vanilla extract and stevia extract in a blender and blend until smooth.
- Garnish with coconut whipped cream and extra caramel sauce on top!
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