I went to Boston last week. Yes I did. That’s why my recipes were at an all time low. Don’t worry, I’ll feed you this week.

Boston played a trick on me. When I got there, it was 65 degrees out and felt awesome. But by the next day, it was f*cking cold. And it’s a different kind of cold in Boston compared to Colorado. A cold that hurts down to your bones. And it turns out, you walk a lot in Boston. In the cold. Ew.

So I went out to Boston this past week to teach some cooking classes and work with Again Faster to make some cooking videos. Remember when I did that last time? Well last time I was in the suburbs, this time I was in the city. AND I got to stay with my friend Jen, who is hands down the best host ever. She made me coffee and breakfast every morning, had an awesome bed for me to sleep in, and even an adorable puppy to cuddle with. Well I didn’t actually cuddle with the puppy. Hyper dogs really aren’t my thing. I like calm, small dogs, that are just happy to sit. Anywho, the trip was far too short. I worked the entire time so fun stuff was at a minimum. The one thing I did get to do is workout once at Reebok CrossFit Backbay which is a siiiiiiiick gym. Such a badass spot with cool coaches.

I ended up shooting 10 cooking videos and teaching 2 cooking classes within 2 days. My feet felt like I was standing on a cat brush after standing for 12 hours straight. I don’t know how chefs do it. I’m investing in crocs for the next time I go out there. Heeled boots are just a terrible idea.

I did get to eat at one restaurant while I was out there. It is called Lineage. It was awesoooooome. I ate so much that night. I even ate some gluten. I felt like a mammoth the next day because of it, but it was totally worth it. I ate oysters for the first time, followed by cauliflower soup, then a steak burger and fries, then banana cream pie. It was real intense. I’m not used to consuming that much food, especially when it includes some gluten. I felt so naughty.

But coming back to Denver was the hardest part. Let me explain why. It was interesting. So picture this:

I was in the isle seat, minding my own business before the flight took off, but the man who sat on my right demanded my attention with his truly outlandish body odor. This is what I don’t understand. How does a man that obviously refuses to put on deodorant or shower, get away with having a wife? Seriously. If you smell like burning chipotle peppers and burnt firewood, mixed with burning hair, you need to get yourself together. Like, really. No one should smell like that. And if you know they do, be a pal. Bathe them. Or at least let them know that they smell like a hobbit.

Speaking of hobbits and uncomfortable situations on planes, I found a winner. This man spent a good 10 minutes in the bathroom before we took off and as soon as he walked out, he was sniffling and wiping his nose. Me, being the incredibly pessimistic person about other humans, automatically thought…he’s doing cocaine, for sure. Well, not to toot my own pessimistic horn, but I was right. As soon as the plan took off, he came trotting down the isle, barefoot which makes it even better, unrolling a couple tightly rolled $20 bills. After he spent a while in the toilet, he came out with a tissue stuck up his nose, moving at a brisk pace with his dirty hobbit feet.

Ok, so I get it. People do drugs, while barefoot. It’s their own life, I know I know. But bro, you’re in a public airplane bathroom. Where people are at a high altitude and probably sh*tting themselves in there. Not probably, definitely. And you’re snorting chemical products off the poop particle counter? While getting poop particales in between your toes? I mean, really? You’re gross. Like, holysh*tyouaregoingtodiealone gross. Even more gross than the man who smelled like hells rotting milk who was sitting next to me. And that’s saying something.

That was my experience home, and even though my flight was early, I was in a funk all night. My expensive but extremely friendly cab driver couldn’t even help me. I just couldn’t wash that smell off of me. Or drink away the cat brush needles poking into my feet. Believe me, I tried. Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc and even a candied bacon bloody mary couldn’t save me. Only sleep. I’m going to try do that a lot this week. And cook lots for you!

I think I’m going to go to Boston again in probably a few months. Hopefully hobbits won’t be on that flight.

Want to see pictures from Boston? OK!

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Jen and I had blanket night with homemade coconut milk ice cream. Again, best host ever.
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Cooking video set up.
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Patrick, his hat, me and Jen. They’re my favorite.
oysters. ohhhhhhhh yeah. I did that.

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41 Comments

  1. Trish says:

    I second the Dansko advice, best shoes for standing ever, I got the recommendation from my Doctor and she rocks! Also, wearing support panty hose helps a lot, I know not that sexy, but your legs and feet will thank you.

  2. joanna says:

    i’ve always wanted to try raw oysters!! i don’t even think i’ve had ooked oysters before. my town is not a food town at all so i don’t even think i could get raw oysters at a restaurant… and there’s no way i’m shucking my own oysters.

  3. Christine says:

    OH man. I grew up in michigan which is super cold. But I lived in Boston for four and a half years and it was a different kind of cold for sure! I didn’t have a car so we walked and took the T EVERYWHERE! def. sucked. Makes living in Colorado such a treat now. Especially with the weekends we had in january! 🙂 isn’t boston amazing though! The crossfit was always too expensive for me though.

  4. Renee says:

    As a baker, I am on my feet all day. Don’t poo-poo Croc’s. They’re amazing. I’ve worn Dansko and in my opinion Croc’s are way more comfortable (not as glam, but comfy)! AND, they come in a ton of styles now.

  5. Mel says:

    Hi there!
    I live in Boston and really wanted to attend your cooking class at BCAE. Unfortunately I didn’t book early enough and it SOLD OUT. Any chance you’ll be coming again to teach more classes?? Hopefully those cooking videos will be up for viewing somewhere in the future? 😉

    mel

  6. jen says:

    thank you for giving me a laugh this am 🙂 Glad my husband isn’t at work right now…just laughed my head off!

  7. Ann says:

    Oooo next time you visit Boston I’d love to take your cooking class! Where would I keep up to date on that? I live about 90 minutes away but for you, I’d drive and park (which is a much bigger deal in Boston than some realize lol). We have a saying here – if you don’t like the weather, wait a minute. Come in May, if it’s not raining it can be quite lovely.

  8. Maren says:

    So hobbit man gets coke on the plane and my grandma practically gets strip searched. Love it…
    Poor Juli! Don’t worry, Texas will be way more awesome when you are here for paleofx! Sqeeeee!

  9. Lexi says:

    First of all, this is my first time commenting but I just want you to know I think you are hilarious. I quote you on a regular basis. My friends and family probably think I personally know you by how much I reference you and your amazing recipies. You are hysterical. Secondly, are these videos going to be online anywhere for us all to watch them?

    1. juli says:

      yes ma’am, once they are, i’ll let you know where to find them!

  10. Donald says:

    Were you flying on “Crying Baby Airlines” by any chance? That would have just made it the perfect flight home.