Our Recent Vacation to Cabo – Episode 96: PaleOMG Uncensored Podcast

Today on the podcast, I’m talking about our recent vacation to Cabo, chatting about why the CF Games stress me out, AND I’m announcing a little secret here on the podcast FIRST!!

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Big thank you to this week’s sponsors!

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Episode 96 Transcription!

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This is Juli Bauer from PaleOMG and you are listening to PaleOMG Uncensored.

Juli Bauer: Hi. Juli here today. Down in the dumps Juli. Because you know what? My best friend. My bestest friend of all, Laura. Who I went to college with. We lived together after college. We lived together in college. After college. She’s been through it all with me. Well, she got a job in Durango, which is about 6 hours from Denver. And she is moving tomorrow. So she came over today, and I stocked her up with clothes. Just gave her a bunch of clothes, so she wouldn’t have to go shopping before she left for a little small town. Smaller town than Denver; it’s not super small. But it’s pretty small.

Now she’s heading home. Her old home. Just get everything packed up. She moves tomorrow morning, and I hate my life. Why do we have to get older and things have to change? It’s so sad! But I’m so excited because she is moving in with her boyfriend. Which, as we all know, is a huge step in a relationship. And then they’re moving together, and moving in together. It’s going to be a huge testing piece of their relationship, which is super exciting and fun for her. Starting a new job that she’s hopefully going to be super happy at in a whole different town.

And her and her boyfriend love the outdoors, so she’s completely opposite than me. They just went on this camping road trip for 5 days to the Tetons. I don’t even know where the Tetons are, because I have no interest in going there. And then I see people’s photos; and I’m like, ok, that is pretty f*cking cool. But I still don’t want to hike that. No thanks.

But, they love the outdoors. They love biking. They love hiking. They love running. They just love doing anything outdoors. So Durango is going to be the perfect place for them. But I’m just so sad, because she’s been exactly a mile away from me for quite a long time now. And now we’re going to be 6 hours away.

So, we were thinking about setting up breakfast dates. Where she’s having breakfast, and I’m having breakfast, and we just breakfasted out together. Oh my gosh, I can’t handle this recording device. When I say device, I mean my phone. But we are thinking of doing breakfast dates. And we’ll just face time, have breakfast. Catch up. Just do that once a week, or so, whenever. Because now I won’t get to see her face to face. And she’s the f*cking best.

Isn’t that the worst? When your best friend isn’t right there? And it’s not like how sometimes you lose best friends when they have babies. She doesn’t have babies yet. So really, you get to hang out with her, and it’s full friendship time. Now I don’t get to see her for a while. But I’ll drive 6 hours. I’ll go to the goddamn mountains for this b*tch. I’ll do it.

But any who. Any poo-poo. How are you today? I am quite lovely and refreshed. Because I freaking just got back from vacation. Not just. I mean, I got back on Sunday, and I’m recording this on a Friday. But, vacations. Real vacations are very few and far between for me. I’m not complaining about that, because I’m lucky enough to get to travel on a regular basis. But usually when I’m traveling, I have an agenda. I have an itinerary. I have to get things done. I have to get posts up. And I still am working on the stuff that’s going up on my blog while I’m traveling. So it’s just kind of double the work when I’m traveling.

This was just a full vacation. The only thing we were planning was drinking and hanging by the pool. It’s funny because I posted; when we got to Mexico, I posted an outfit photo. And somebody was like; you know there are other places than the US. Where else? US, Mexico, and the Caribbean. I was like; thank you. But, they are not many places that you can get a direct flight in 2.5 hours, and you can be in a different country for pretty affordable. And have a full beach vacation. I can get to Mexico. I can get to Cabo faster than California. Pretty much. It’s like the same.

Then I’m full beach mode. And we love Cabo. I love the feel of Cabo. I like the marina. I like downtown. I like the resorts. I like the beaches. The beaches aren’t like beaches that you go really in the water a ton, on the side we were on. But it’s just like; you’re still right by the water.

So yes, I do know there are other places than Mexico and the Caribbean. But Mexico took us 2 hours and 40 minutes. So it’s kind of hard to pass up.

So we go to Cabo; now we try to go twice a year. Because I love it so much. And we can go. We can make an excuse to take a long weekend. So we went Thursday through Sunday. And we can get a direct flight cheaper than going to the East Coast. And we can stay in a beautiful resort, with amazing food that bends to your dietary restrictions. How do you pass up a vacation like that?

So this was a true vacation. My husband and I said; when I went to Aruba, I wanted him to come with. But since it was for work, this won’t be fun for you. It’s going to be work the entire time. It will be awesome; and thank god he didn’t go with me because that’s when we got stuck in the Miami airport overnight, and that would have been so stressful for him and his job.

So we decided on this Cabo vacation. When he couldn’t go to Aruba, I was like; let’s plan something where you love to go. And he was like; ok, how about Cabo? So easy to get to. Love it.

We found this hotel. I started looking up hotels, and luckily I asked people on maybe Instagram or my blog or something like that. The best hotels in Cabo. And of course, there were a million different recommendations. But some of the big ones was the Grand Solmar, the Cape Hotel, and then the Resort at Pedregal. We decided on that one because they had a breakfast special going. So with your stay, you get breakfast included every day. And most of these hotels aren’t all inclusive like that. So I picked that one so we would have breakfast included every day, and wouldn’t have to worry about it.

It also included chips and guac every day in our hotel room at 5 p.m. F*cking love that. When you get back from the beach all day, and you’re like; ok, I’m kind of hungry but it’s not dinner time. To have chips and guac ready in your room; just ready to go. I loved it so much.

So we got there on Thursday afternoon. The hotel is stunning. And it overlooks the ocean. You can’t really go in the ocean; there are a lot of riptides. We saw a couple of people, not even surfing. Like body boarding a little bit. But you have to be pretty careful. It’s pretty f*cking sketch over there. So we just spent most of our time at the pool.

But our room was absolutely stunning. You know when you go to a hotel, and they have a really cool bathroom, and you’re like; I want to change our bathroom! Because our bathroom is pretty small. It only has one sink, and we’re like; how could we extend our bedroom? Can we do this? Should we just demo our whole house?

But the bathroom was amazing. It had a giant tub. It had a walk-in shower that was like an open shower. Two sinks. I know, that’s like; everybody is like; who gives a sh*t. I do. Two sinks is great when you have one.

The balcony overlooked the ocean. It was like we were right on the first or second floor. Overlooked the ocean, and the doors opened all the way. So you can press them all the way open, and hear the ocean, and every morning there would be sting rays jumping out of the ocean, and like belly flopping. So cool. Look it up online. Just sting rays jumping. They seriously jump; you know how whales jump out. At first we thought it was birds flying down into the ocean to grab a fish. Then we were like; they’re not coming back up. And then we noticed they were sting rays. It was so cool.

Usually from this hotel, if it’s mating season for whales, you can see the whales from your hotel. Because when we went to Cabo in January, we were right by where the hotel we stayed at this time, and that’s where we saw whales. It was the coolest thing ever. If you haven’t seen whales in real life, put it on your bucket list. It’s the coolest thing. It makes you feel so small. And you’re like; I’m such a small piece of this f*cking universe. And we’re the worst species ever.

Whatever. Not as bad as Trump. Ugh! Why did I have to go political!

Anyway. We get there the first day, and they give you welcome margaritas. Which, tequila is like the only alcohol that I really like. I don’t like it as a sipping thing, because sipping alcohol is f*cking gross. But, I love a margarita. And you know, if you’re staying at a hotel that’s a pretty nice hotel, they’re going to have good margaritas. Because you’re paying good money for these goddamn drinks. And this hotel really cares about customer service. They f*cking work their asses off.

Sorry if I sound weird; I have a sore throat you guys. I went out two days in a row. Not late; went out till like 8 p.m. But two days in a row, and guess what happens? I get sick. I leave my f*cking bubble of my house, and I get sick. I hate people.

Any who. We get to our hotel, and they give you welcome margaritas. And you’re sipping your margaritas. You’re just going through all the details of your next few days. We went straight to our hotel room, got our swimsuits on, went right to the pool. We grabbed; they had a sushi bar, so we grabbed some sushi. And then they also had, other than their welcome margaritas, they had cucumber jalapeno margaritas. And if you’ve seen any of my drinks on my blog, jalapeno goes in almost any drink I make. I don’t like drinks that aren’t spicy. I don’t want just a fruity drink. I don’t want; I don’t know. That’s pretty much it. I want some spice with my fruit. With my sweetness.

So, cucumber jalapeno, loved. They had carrot margaritas. They had breakfast margaritas. They had a lot of amazing margaritas. So we get there, and of course you’re on an empty stomach. And we ate raw fish, and not that much rice. I think I had four margaritas, and I am done. I’m done. I black out.

I think if you’re a person who has ever blacked out, you always black out. I’m not bragging about this. I’m not proud of this by any means. But I always used to black out in college, and I never knew what happened. And now I had four drinks. I don’t feel like four is a crazy amount. But I don’t drink that often. And if I do, it’s like one, maybe one and a half. And this was a solid four. Maybe a fifth one. No, I think it was four. And I black out. Fully black out.

I booked a reservation at our favorite restaurant here in Denver for September. I guess my husband and I were talking about how we needed to book a reservation to go with a couple of friends that we like, and we booked it. Didn’t even talk to the friends about it, but we booked the reservation. And I didn’t know about that the next day until I said something to my husband. I was like; hey, you know what we should do? We should book a reservation at our favorite steak house for our friends. And he looks at me like; we did that last night. I was like what? No we didn’t. He was like; I would check your email. And I checked my email; there’s the reservation. Don’t remember any of that. Don’t remember going back to the hotel room.

And let’s be clear. We got there at 1:30. So we had our welcome margarita. And then we went back to our room, we changed. So we probably got to the pool at 2:30. And we were back in our hotel room by 5, eating the chips and guac. I was totally blacked out. When I’m blacked out, I’m still functioning as a human. But, I’m falling asleep with my mouth open sitting up with chips in my lap.

Then we wake up by 9, and I’m like; what is going on? What time is it? It’s 9 p.m. We missed our dinner reservation. And so then we were like; sh*t. Most places are kind of closing for dinner. So we ordered room service our first night there. And we watched the Big Bang Theory. And I can’t lie; it was f*cking awesome. Oh, and Modern Family.

For me, a lot of people like to do a lot of stuff on vacations. And I definitely get that. But this vacation, I didn’t want to do sh*t. I didn’t want to work. I didn’t want to think about work. I didn’t want to look at my emails. I just wanted to drink and read a book and take a nap. And that’s what I needed. And that was what our first day entailed. It entailed breakfast in my pajamas; in a robe. I f*cking love hotel robes when they’re good robes. I love them so much. I always want to steal one.

So I’m sitting in my robe. Eating whatever it’s called; room service. Does it get better than that? I’m sure other people would think yes. But man, I don’t think so. I love that sh*t. Just being comfortable. I hate getting dressed up and going out to dinner. It’s like; this isn’t comfortable. My pants to f*cking stretch to the amount of food I want to eat, ok? I’m on vacation. I’m going to eat my life’s worth of calories. And that’s what I did in cocktails.

So the next day, the Friday we were there, we did my day. So one of the marriage hacks that I’ve kind of figured out. My husband and I have only gone on a couple of vacations, just the two of us. And we vacation very differently. He likes to do stuff, I like to chill out. So Costa Rica was so perfect for us, because we hung out all day on the beach. And he could go surf. I would go body board. And when I didn’t want to go in the water anymore, I would sit on the beach. I would eat some food. We had food delivered. We could walk across the street to the gas station. Or the grocery store and grab food. So it was the perfect vacation for us because we could both do what we wanted in one space.

Cabo is a little bit different, since you’re not going to the beach and doing as much beach stuff. So what we figured out, to make sure that we’re not upset with each other at all on vacation is we did whatever I wanted to do the first day, and whatever my husband wanted to do the second day. And I feel like that’s been very good of our marriage. Of; ok, we’re going to do whatever you want and I’m going to totally support you, and I’m not going to complain. I’m not going to be like; I’m bored. Because the next day, we get to do whatever the other person wants to do. So you kind of feel like there’s some freedom. So if you’re bored, it’s like; well, that’s fine. Tomorrow is going to be my kind of day.

So the first day, we hung out by the pool all day. What did we do? I read an entire book. I f*cking loved it. I read the Woman in Cabin 10. And I don’t ever read books, because I just don’t have time. If I am sitting doing nothing, I need to be working. {laughs} So I don’t have very much time to read books. And I really need to make more time for it. But this gave me the opportunity to actually dig into a book and really enjoy it. And I loved it. It was a great book. I wanted more from the ending, but it was still great.

So we hung by the pool all day. I read my book. We went and grabbed lunch. We hung out in the room. We hung out on our little terrace area. Hung out more by the beach. And then I had booked a reservation at Flora Farms, because everybody raves about it. And I really want to go there at some point. But it was a 45-minute drive from our hotel. I’m like; I don’t want to get a cab for 45 minutes, and then 45 minutes back. And when I say I; my husband was like; you seriously want to do that? And I was like, oh yeah, that is a bad idea. I made the reservation not really thinking about the distance, because I was so excited to go back and hopefully try the restaurant, but that just did not happen.

So, then we just made a reservation at the place that we missed the night before, at our hotel. And then we were in bed. I had drinks. We were in bed by 9. And it was awesome. And one of the coolest parts is they ask you what your dietary restrictions are before you even get there. So we had the gluten free treats in our room when we got there. And then our servers were informed of that, so they knew, too. So freaking awesome.

And, they had gluten free bread. These little gluten free biscuits; kind of like if you’ve ever had Brazilian cheese buns. They were kind of like that. And it was so good. I had Brian taste a bite, and he was like; this is better than my gluten bread. The best. Love it. So, loaded up on lots of drinks. Lots of gluten free bread. Lots of dessert. It was the best. Then we’re in bed by 9. I wake up; I don’t have a hangover, and I can workout.

And, hotel gyms are very important to me. Incredibly important to me. It’s so sad when hotels skimp on that. I don’t think they should. But this hotel; it’s not premium price. But I think it’s a lot of money to stay there. And then you pay a good amount; each drink was like $14. $14 to $16. And then, they had a champagne bar that you could get 3 ounces of champagne for $32. Very excessive. But awesome. Great champagne. {laughs} So excessive. So we only went there once, for one glass. And Brian was like; I’m not getting a glass. You think I’m going to pay that money for champagne I don’t really give a sh*t about? I’m like, that’s completely fair.

So; ok, where was I going. F*ck, I forgot where I was going with that. Anyway. The food is super awesome there. Everything we had, just a beach club little restaurant that was nothing super fancy still had amazing food. I had a sea bass sweet potato and green bean salad; amazing combo. I had so much seafood while I was there. No shrimp. I will never eat shrimp in Mexico ever again. Or really ever have shrimp ceviche ever, ever again. No thanks. Never again, after Tulum.

So, I got my first day in. Loved every second of it. In bed; oh, that’s what I was talking about. The gym. So I’m guessing they put a lot of this money into the gym, because they have the curve woodway treadmills. And these treadmills, if you haven’t seen them, just look up the woodway treadmill or curve treadmill. It’s curved, so it’s supposed to put you in a better running position, and it’s better for your joints. And it’s the best. This made me feel like I was an actual good runner, and I’m not. Loved it.

I worked out there twice while I was there; on Friday and Saturday. And then on Saturday, after I finished my workout, my husband was like; did you know they had another whole room back here? And they had a TRX room. They had Airdyne bikes. They had barbells, so you could do Olympic lifting. I was like; what the f*ck? I wish I would have known this was here the first day. I totally would have done a workout with it. But I still got great workouts in both days. The gym is fantastic.

They also do hikes, and walks on the beach, and I think they teach yoga there. They have different fitness classes offered. I love that kind of sh*t. Get a workout in. Get just moving, and you feel so much better for the day after you drank and ate and done all the stuff that you should do on vacation.

I know. I’m yawning. I’m so sorry. It’s just this stuffy nose and head of mine. And just me.

So, the second day we did whatever my husband wanted to do. So we started off with carrot margaritas. And by the way, the breakfast there; phenom. I mean, every meal was so incredible. But they had a breakfast bar. And I’m usually not a fan of buffets, because they’re usually totally sh*t. But this buffet was f*cking awesome. They had gluten free baked goods, along with regular baked goods. They had a yogurt bar. They had tamales every morning. Potatoes, peppers, all these different things. You could make your own smoothie. So you would just fill out a little sheet. Like; ok, I want strawberries, and bananas, I want wheat grass. They had all these different things, and the make the smoothie for you. I made a terrible one. That was a poor decision. But my husband made an amazing one.

And then they also have; what was it; an egg station. Where you could get any eggs you wanted. You could get scrambled eggs. You could get sausage with it, bacon, whatever. They also had specials like chilaquiles, all these different things. It was amazing. It was so freaking good. Breakfast was so bomb. We both ate so freaking much; too much. But it was amazing.

And then on his day, we went into town. He wanted to go downtown. He wanted to go to this little bar we went to the first time we went there. And then we just went bar hopping through the marina. So he really wanted to go to the marina, because he loves seeing all the boats out there and just being around that environment. So we went to the marina. We went bar hopping. And I’m sure he was very pumped about not spending $14 on a cocktail. Because that is just not his style. Which is completely fair. But you know what; you get what you pay for and I had a much worse hangover when I ate at all those different bars with sh*tty probably margarita mix instead of house made stuff. Just saying, Bri-guy.

But we went bar hopping. And we stopped at this one restaurant that was right on the marina, and it had fish ceviche. So they had whatever fresh fish was coming in that day. And the ceviche was f*cking awesome. If we go back to the marina this next year, which I think we will because we got a house right by the marina. I want to go back to that restaurant and get the ceviche, that’s how much I loved it. It was awesome. Terrible service. But great food.

So we bar hopped. And then we were in regular clothes, and we just walked there because you can walk there from the hotel. And at one point he’s like; ok, I don’t want to do this anymore. I just want to go to the pool because it’s so hot here. Because it’s like 90-95 degrees, and you’re wearing regular clothes. There’s not much of a breeze where we were at. So we were both drenched. Our clothes were completely soaking wet.

So we went back, and we went back to the pool. And then we had dinner for our last night at; I don’t know how you pronounce it. El Farallon. Not sure. But it’s the restaurant at the hotel. But I think a lot of people from outside the hotel come to go to this restaurant. Because when I told people I was going to Cabo last year, everybody recommended this restaurant.

So this hotel is tucked into the rocks of Cabo. And the hotel is literally right on the rocks. And you have waves coming up; sometimes you get wet from the waves. Not really, not much. But still the waves come up and splash. You can see crabs everywhere. It’s just stunning at night. I wish we would have been there at sunset, but our reservation was like at 9 p.m.

And that was such a bad decision, because when we made the reservation, it’s like a few days before. Because I don’t always think ahead to that kind of stuff. Especially when I have a ton of work leading up to the vacation. But the reservation we could either get at 5 or 8:45. So I was like; I don’t know what will go on, so we probably should do 8:45. Bad decision. Not good.

We both are kind of buzzed. I had come down from my buzz, but my husband kept riding it out. And I was like; I am f*cking hungry. I am really tired. And honestly, maybe it was my attitude, but I wasn’t crazy wowed by this restaurant. And people swear by it and love it. So maybe I was just a grumpy drunk or something. But the restaurant we had the Don Manuel, that was the main restaurant in the hotel where we had breakfast every morning. And we had dinner the night before and it was better than the dinner we had right there. And that dinner is expensive, right on the rocks, of course.

So it wasn’t the most fun experience, because we were both pretty tired, and buzzed, and just kind of ready for bed. It’s like a four-course meal, so it takes really long. I sound like such a f*cking b*tch right now. Like; come on Juli. Get your life together. But I feel like we’re friends if you’re listening to this, and you’ve made it this far in our podcast. Our podcast; you and me. And if you’ve made it this far and you’re still listening, I consider you a friend.

So anyway. We were still in bed early by that night, because after dinner we went straight to bed. Our hotel room was right by that restaurant. So we had to walk 30 seconds and go straight to bed. Loved it. I just love; I know it’s so fun to leave the hotel, but man. It’s just so fun to not leave your hotel. And just f*cking turn off.

And that’s what I kind of like about going to Cabo, and on vacations like that. If you go to Europe, there are a sh*t ton of things you need to do. You need to go see so many things. You need to walk everywhere. It’s a do a lot of sh*t place. And I do a lot of sh*t daily. So it feels nice to not do anything. I love that feeling. It was the best.

The next morning, we woke up, had a huge meal. Sat at the airport for a few hours. Had a direct flight back. And was home by 5. I mean, can you beat that? It was a so much needed vacation. Just the two of us. And then, we’ll be going back to Cabo for New Years! Which I’m so pumped about. I freaking love Cabo. I love it.

Anyway. Speaking of travel. I have some travel coming up that I’m super excited about. Going to new places I’ve never been. I have Montreal. I’m going to Canada, b*tches! By the way, did you know that Canada; if you have a DUI in the past 10 years, you can’t go? You can get a lawyer to get you, border lawyers or something like that, to get you there but it’s just a big thing. How crazy is that?

So I’m working with Lole women. So if you haven’t seen Lole, it’s a Canada based company. So a lot of people haven’t heard about it in the states. I think they have maybe one store in California. But they are an amazing activewear and kind of athleisurewear brand. They have the best coats ever. They’re Canada. They make good f*cking quality coats. And it’s like the only heavy coat that I’ll buy now, I love them so much.

So I’m working with them. I’m going out for their all white tour. They have this tour where everybody comes together. They all wear white. Everybody does yoga and meditates together. I know; totally not my style. But they still wanted me to come out there and experience that. It’s like a peace tour. It’s so cool. That’s what the all white is. It’s a symbol of peace, and it’s just a cool, amazing even that they put on.

So I’m going to Montreal Wednesday through Sunday, which I’m super pumped about. It’s a good long trip. I get to go to the spa. I get to go to different restaurants. I get to do this all white tour. I get to tour the city. I’m just so excited. I’ve never been to Canada. And thankfully I’ve never had a DUI, knock on wood. Well, I don’t drink and drive, so I don’t really need to knock on wood. But I’ve never had a DUI, so I can get over the border. It’s no bid deal for me.

Don’t drink and drive, motherf*ckers. That’s bad. It’s so weird when adults do that. Or anybody, ok. But, adults who use their brain and have children and sh*t like that. But whatever.

So, I have that. And then September I have San Juan islands in Washington. I think that’s Washington. {laughs} I’m going to San Juan Islands, which I’m super pumped about. And then I have Lake Tahoe for a Mind Pump event. Mind Pump is a podcast if you haven’t listened to it; I have an event with them. We’re podcasting with all these different people. I get to meet a bunch of people there and hang out with my girlfriends of Girls Gone WOD.

And then, I have f*cking New Zealand! New Zealand. Which I haven’t booked flights for yet, Jesus. Oh, and this is way far out. But, you guys. You guys. So, I am putting on a group trip. I’ve done this once before. I went to Costa Rica probably four years ago maybe. So I went to Costa Rica four years ago with this company, and they put together these group trips. And I get to travel, and meet people who follow my blog. And hang out for a week. So we just hung out on the beach every day. We went to the national forest. A bunch of people kind of did stuff on their own. And we just kind of ate and drank and hung out. It was the best.

So I haven’t worked with this company since, and they’ve been trying to get me to hop on a trip. And then they just created this new one in Burgundy, France. We’re staying in a chateau. There’s going to be food and wine tour. There’s going to be cooking classes. There’s going to be a river tour. Yeah, there’s going to be who knows what else. I’ll probably host workouts every morning. Like, hey this is the workout I’m going to do. Let’s walk through it. And then let’s just do it together. So kind of like coaching, but more so just working out with you guys.

So, all that happens is person signs up. Pays for the trip. So you have to pay for the trip; I think it’s $2400, plus flight. So it’s a more expensive trip, for sure. I mean, you’re going to France. And it’s 5 nights, 6 days. And then people can obviously expand their trip of they want to go longer. And it’s going to be in May. So I’m telling you this because maybe if you listen to my podcast, and you’re like; I don’t know why I listen to this psycho chick every single week, but I kind of like her. Then we can go to f*cking France together; how rad is that?

So I’m telling podcast people first and foremost. So you can jump on that opportunity when it arises, because there’s only 15 spots. So I’m not sure; I think that will sell out pretty quickly. It’s a big chunk of money, but if it gives someone an excuse to go to France, to go to Paris, to Europe. Which I’ve never been to Europe in all the travel I’ve done, because like I said to the woman who thinks I only know that there’s the US and Caribbean; Paris is a little bit harder to get to. It takes about 24 f*cking hours. So, yeah. That’s quite the commitment.

But, I’m telling you guys this first to give you the heads up before anybody out there. I’m going to announce it on my blog on; I’m going to make sure I check the date. Because I’m going to announce it on my blog first. I believe so, unless I announce it in my newsletter first. But that’s going to go live on August 30th. So you can sign up if you want to do the trip on August 30th on the blog. But I think you’ll have to act fast if you do want to go, and that’s why I’m just letting you know now, giving you a heads up early, because we’re into August. And obviously people want to plan ahead of time. So August 30th; that trip will be going live. Sign ups will be going live on the blog on www.PaleOMG.com.

So if you want to go to France. If you want to go on a wine tour. If you want to go on a boat tour. If you want to workout with me. If you want to talk about paleo. If you want to hold hands and skip and do a bike tour together. We’ll just tour f*cking everything, ok. How’s that sound? August 30th. www.PaleOMG.com. Don’t miss it! Ok? I’m letting you guys know first.

I talked about it on Instagram stories. If people wanted to go to France with me, and I think people took it as; why would I ever say no. Duh. But I didn’t say; oh, it’s going to be this much. This is how much you’re going to have to pay. So there it is. You guys know first and foremost.

Now, I think that’s all the travel I have coming up. Oh! Good stuff.

Now, guess what? Guess what’s happening this weekend? The CrossFit Games! Dun-dun-dun! Man. The CrossFit Games are just overwhelming. But the cool part right now is the owner of our CrossFit gym, Jason Kelley, he is competing right now. So he’s in the Masters division now, because he’s a whopping 40. Quite the Master. So he’s in the Masters division; he made it this year. And it’s pretty cool because the first day, he was 19/20. So he wasn’t doing too hot. He knew that first day would be his worst. And then his first workout the second day, he got second in that workout. So he’s a little comeback kid, coming back. But I haven’t really been able to watch all of his workouts, just because I’ve been working. I’ll sometimes watch them, and then I can’t;

oh Jackson. Hey, guess what Jackson. Stop. Look at that. I’m a dominant figure in this house.

So he’s at the CrossFit Games right now. I went to the CrossFit Games, not competing. I just went there as a spectator in, I think, 2011. I competed in Regionals; I think that year I got 11th in Regionals. And then the second year I got 8th. And I think I went to the Games both years. I’m pretty sure I went both years. I’m like; I feel like years start to fade together. I hate getting older.

But I hate going to the Games. I hate them so much. I went to the Games when it was in California, as a spectator. It sounds like I’m like; oh, I went to the Games. I wish. But, no I don’t wish. F*ck the CrossFit Games. But I watched as a spectator in California, and I was like; ok, number one. I hate this place. It’s all the broyest bros. And women in hardly any clothing. And that’s how most CrossFit gyms are anyway. But it’s so heightened because it’s a lot of people who compete, or own companies and are competitors. Just so over the top.

So many bright, annoying T-shirts. Thankfully, I feel like CrossFit T-shirts have calmed down over the years because they’re the f*cking worst. But people; so many tank tops. Or no clothes on at all. Guys hate wearing shirts there. And it just feels like; it almost feels like how I felt walking into a gym in the first place. Before I found CrossFit, I’d walk into a gym and I’d feel so intimidated. Because I was like; ok, all these are the best-looking people I’ve ever seen, and I feel like such a… it just made me feel insecure. Those are my own issues and insecurities, obviously. But that’s just kind of how it made me feel. And that’s how the CrossFit Games come off to me.

And it’s so funny, because I don’t think Joy and Clare of Girls Gone WOD feel like that whatsoever. If you haven’t listened to that podcast, guys, they’re the best. Girls Gone WOD. But they go to the CrossFit Games every year. And I don’t think they feel like that at all. They f*cking love it. And just are so excited about it. And I hate it.

I went one or two times; really not sure. And I just, I’m not into it. You have to watch a ton of different events. There’s not that much food. Hotels are crazy expensive now that it’s in Madison and space is so limited of getting hotel rooms. You have to book the year before pretty much. And maybe that’s just my social anxiety calling. Because I hate being around that many people. Hence, why I’m sick right now, because I was around 10 people.

I went to an event where people were donating $75,000. You guys. I was like; hey, cool. I can’t do that. And then when I was at this even the other night, it was for this nonprofit, and people were donating left and right. And this guy was talking about how he just bought a new plane. And just got his pilot’s license. And I’m like; yeah, I can totally relate. I just bought a new fridge. So I get it. I get what you’re going through. You know. That excitement. Motherf*cker.

But it’s like; the CrossFit Games, you have to plan super far ahead. And I don’t know. I’ve never been to Madison, but I don’t know what it’s like. But from what I hear, it’s like, everything is sold out. You have to go far away unless you book super ahead of time. So it’s like; I can’t get down with that. I just can’t do it.

But, it’s always fun watching an event for like 4 minutes, and then I just can’t do it anymore. But they did; one of the events. Not the Masters, but like the regular age. When you’re not too old yet, they say. They had to row a marathon. Row a marathon. A marathon is 42,000 meters, from what I understand. I could have that number off, but I don’t give a f*ck. And if you’ve ever rowed a 1K; 1,000 meters. Or you’ve ever rowed a 2K; you know that it’s the worst. You’re so over it. I’ve rowed a 5K before and I was like; this is literally the worst. You’re so bored. You’re so tired. Your butt is uncomfortable. You’re fatigued. It’s awful.

These people are rowing for pretty much 3 f*cking hours. I’m pretty sure it was three hours. Imagine sitting and pushing and pulling for three hours. They had gloves on, and they had a lot of people had the water backpacks so they could drink without stopping. And they also had the little gel packs, so you could gel. Get some food in while you’re rowing for 3 f*cking hours. It’s like; hey, crossfitters weren’t built for this, motherf*cker. We were built for a 10-minute workout. Hello. No. No.

So, I’m really glad I never made it to the CrossFit Games. {laughs} Because; no. That sh*t they have to do; this can’t be good, guys. This can’t be good for your bodies. I’m sorry. I know that everybody is like; some people, their bodies are just made for this sh*t. But sh*t breaks down. Based on our owner, Jason, sh*t starts to break down, man. At some point, you have to listen to it. Because, the whole point of CrossFit in the first place was to be able to be physically capable as an older adult. It’s like; hey, I want to have muscles. I want to have strong bones. I want to be able to get up, walk somewhere when I’m 90, 95, 100 years old, and be able to function on my own. And doing those competitive workouts just does not help with that. Right?

I don’t know. Someone can fight me on it. But based on how I feel now, from my competitive days. I don’t know. I am not a fan of it. And it feels so nice to go extra light in workouts now. Not give a f*ck. Have a great workout and not feel like sh*t all the time. Not have hurt joints, and sore; not sore muscles, but like, achy, can’t function, have a headache, sore traps. Just CrossFit takes it too damn far sometimes.

We even had a couple of drop in to our gym today. By the way, they were late, which is my 100% least favorite thing of all time. Don’t ever be late to things, especially when you have to fill out a waiver, and you know this because you’ve been to other gyms. Or maybe you workout at a gym. Hello. I hate when people are late. Don’t give me the excuse about parking. They didn’t give me this excuse, but that’s what I imagine because parking sucks ass at our gym right now, because there’s construction going on. But don’t say that. I parked a block down, and I was still 15 minutes early.

Why do I hate it so much? The only person I don’t mind who is late is my best friend. Because I know she will be late, so I don’t get there until later. But anybody else, it’s like; hey, grow up. Stop being late, you’re an adult. My parents are late all the time and I f*cking hate it.

Ok. Moving on. But for real. Don’t be late, it’s so inconsiderate.

Anyway. The CrossFit Games I think go through Sunday. They started like Wednesday. They f*cking go through Sunday. And I’m pretty sure it was something like 20 workouts that our coach, Jason, has to go through. Putting your body through 20 workouts in 5 days. I don’t know if they have a rest day in between there or anything. But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t f*cking matter. That’s crazy. That’s so not good for your body. It just wrecks you.

Don’t be that guy out there, guys. Unless you’re going to make it to the CrossFit Games and win, and win $250,000. Or 500. Or whatever the f*ck it is at this point. Billions. Don’t do it to your body. Just workout, and look good naked. Move on with your day. I’m just telling you from experience; it sucked coming back from healing. My body is all funky. Damn you competitive days.

But getting back on track. It’s so funny. I’m going to do a blog post about this, because I feel like it’s one of the harder things, getting back on track after vacation. Some people have an easy time with it. I feel like I have a pretty easy time with it at this point, because I don’t get upset with myself for indulging while I was on vacation. It was like; no, this is what I’m going to do. I’m going to enjoy myself. I’m going to have all the drinks I want. I’m going to eat whatever food I want. And then I’m going to come back and it’s going to take me a week, maybe two weeks. Maybe even three weeks to get back to my original weight. But, that’s ok. Because that’s how my body is.

But because I really want to enjoy everything in life. And 5 or 10 pounds isn’t going to change anything. I’m still just as happy. So this week has been getting back on track, staying away from alcohol. I went to 2 events this week that were all around drinking. One was a birthday party. One was a nonprofit event, where everybody was wasted. And you have to get wasted if you want to talk to people and make connections. I didn’t, so I didn’t make any connections. So that was pointless.

But I went to both of these events; no alcohol consumed. And I stayed away from the food, too, because I just didn’t need to be eating any of those things. Stayed away from sugar this week. And I’m on day 5 of being back on track, and I feel so much better. And I know next Friday will be even better. And it’s so nice just knowing that you’ll get back on track and feel better. And I don’t get upset about it. So I’m going to do a blog post about it.

I haven’t loved doing it, because I’ve been taking daily photos. I don’t ever weigh myself, but I’ve been doing daily photos. And I feel like I get a little bit more obsessive about it, just because I’m doing that, for the bog. So I’m not a huge fan of it. But I wanted to just kind of document that experience of; this is what I did to get back on track. This is everything I ate. This is what my workouts looked like. This is all the water I drank. And here’s kind of the differences from day one to whatever day seven. It will get better from there. So I’m going to share that on the blog soon.

So much happening on the blog. I mean, a trip. I’m going to share my Cabo trip. I’m going to share the opening of the France trip. France, guys. Do you want to come? If you do, go to www.PaleOMG.com and leave a comment on this podcast episode. I want to know if you’re in. If you’re truly in. It’s like May maybe 12th through the 17th or 18th. Something around there. So May 12th through 17th. We’ll say that. There you go. Those are details, first and foremost, for you guys. Because I don’t know why you listen to this podcast, and I praise you. You’re the best.

So. I’m going to go. What do I need to do? It’s Friday night. Make some dinner. That’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to go make some dinner. Thanks for listening this week of just a life update. I was talking to my friend Sarah, who is a motherf*cking hoot, at the gym today. And she was like; hey, do you want to get a pedicure with me today? I’m like, girl. I don’t have time. I’ve got to go record a podcast. She’s like; why don’t you have me on your podcast? I was like, I don’t know, girl!

So I’m going to have Sarah on a podcast. We’re going to talk about being single, because she’s not a f*cking fan of it. Love talking about that. I can relate. Been there, done that. It’s the pits. Dating is the worst. So we’re going to talk through that. I’m totally going to have her on, she’s the best.

Ok. I have to go. But, I love you. You’re the best. And I’ll talk to you next week. Thanks for listening guys! Bye!