Ohhhhhh family time is funny. Funny in the fact it is incredibly overwhelming. When you live like me, rarely seeing your family, it is quite the affair when we all get together. I have to repeatedly explain what my job is while they stare at me with blank faces, eat loads of food I’m not used to consuming (meaning deny my grandmother while she offers me her homemade potato bread), then entertain children, which as you all know I’m not exactly good at. I’m just not good at family stuff.

So to entertain myself while I was completely overwhelmed at my grandparents house, I took pictures of her house. Ok, not really of her house, but the things that fill her house. You see, my grandma REALLY likes bears. No seriously. Like LOVES bears. They fill every room. They wear outfits. They hang out with each other. They do cool sh*t. They’re stuffed animal bears, what cool sh*t can’t they do? Thank goodness for my grandma or they would be livin’ a boring life. This is what all these bears say, “They see me rollin’….they hatin.”

Watch these bears go.

bears be readin in a high chair. makes sense.
bears be jolly
bears be sitting.
bears be standin.
bears be travelin
bears be creepin
bears be stranglin
bears be havin bad eye sight
bears be flyin. no buckles needed bro.

This honestly wasn’t even half of the bears that lined my grandparents house. That was just too much bears talk though. Moving on.

So this recipe really isn’t a recipe per se. It’s more of a fun idea played out through food. That made no sense. But when I recently used plantains in a recipe, a fellow (extremely fit as all hell) paleo-zone blogger mentioned on my Facebook page that I should try make patacones. Oh you haven’t liked my facebook page? Do you want to like my facebook page? Of course you do. You don’t have a facebook? You’re dumb. Well Steve was right, these are delicious. The perfect chip if you ask me. I sprinkled some with just salt. Others with cinnamon. Some with cayenne pepper. I went to town really. Speaking of going to town, I’m back home to beautiful Colorado today. Dallas was fun but I’m ready to live out of CrossFit Broadway again. Missed them.

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Paleo Patacones

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5 from 1 review

Ingredients

Scale
  • 2 plantains, peeled and chopped “hamburger” style (the easiest way to peel a plantain is to use a sharp knife to cut the lengthwise of the plantain and the inside curve, then use the knife to raise the skin and peel it off without tearing off the mushy part of the plantain)
  • 2 tablespoons coconut oil
  • toppings: salt, cayenne pepper, cinnamon, nutmeg, etc.

Instructions

  1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Place your chopped plantains on a cookie sheet.
  3. Bake for about 10-15 minutes until they have a crispiness to them.
  4. Now use either a spatula or another cookie sheet to press the plantains down and flatten them out. Like a chip.
  5. Now heat up a large skillet or deep frying pan over medium-high heat. Add your coconut oil to get super hot.
  6. Once the oil is super hot (I like to say super) add your plantains to start frying up.
  7. Cooking on both sides for 1-3 minutes
  8. Place on a paper towel to soak up the excess oil.
  9. Top with whatever you would like while still hot!
  10. Consume!

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11 Comments

  1. jaceyh says:

    You should see my mother in law's house. Monkeys. Everywhere. Literally thousands. Ok, maybe a thousand. I don't know, I've never actually sat down and counted but you can see them every direction you turn.

    I should have taken pictures when I was stressed with family last weekend. Instead I ate…and it wasn't "good" food.

  2. Damon says:

    4 days in a row AND a stuffed bear pictorial? I feel spoiled now.

  3. heatherlovesapples says:

    the bear pictures and captions are absolutely hilarious! god help me if my stuffed animal collection gets to that level…

  4. Juli Bauer says:

    Jacey I am right there with you girlfriend. Lots of naughty food for me!

    Damon, even got one for you tomorrow!

    Heather, please do not let any collection get to that level. It's a bit frightening

  5. Camilla says:

    So. Damn. Good. Thanks for these!

  6. Trey Peden says:

    Ah HA! I called these "patacones" for a while, but several people corrected me saying they're "tostones." I never bothered to look it up, but simply changed my habit.

    I am glad to know I wasn't crazy for using the other word. Maybe it's just a regional word.

    Whatevs, now I am happy to have a recipe to make them on my own!

  7. Juli Bauer says:

    Trey- I've heard of tostones and patacones too, but its my blog so I can call anything whatever I want lol. You and I are smart, so they're called patacones. Done and done. Thanks for checking out the blog AND commenting!

    1. Andrea says:

      I’m Colombian and I call them patacones 🙂 but we usually fry them… obviously everything fried is better. You first deep fry them both sides, them smush them while they’re still hot (I usually just roll a can over them), them deep fry them again!

  8. Beatriz says:

    A bit late on this… but I just stumbled upon your blog. 🙂

    I grew up on plantains, and we (Dominican-Cuban household) called this dish tostones. Patacone is a different dish (think: tostone sandwich. also very very yummy.). Regional terms aside, my grandma/mom always warmed me of how fattening and starchy it is (30+gs of carb).. which is super disappointing because I’m sure I could eat like twenty plantains in one sitting.

    Have you tried making “maduros” (“ripe”) yet? It’s basically waiting until the plantain is brown and making them the same way you would a tostone/patacone.

    Or “mangu”/”fufu”? Boiling the plantain (must be green, cut a straight line along the ridges). After 20 or so minutes, remove them and smash it up to taste (smooth or chunky) with butter or oil. It’s a breakfast staple and usually served with onions, avocado, eggs and salami.






    1. juli says:

      Thanks Beatriz, I’ve always wondered and heard that as well! I’ll have to try maduros, that sounds amazing!

  9. Bekah says:

    Plantains have always intimidated me even though I LOVE eating them when I can find them! I bought three on a whim yesterday and then went through your site because I’ve seen them in your recipes. I just made these and it was so easy and amazingly delicious 🙂