My Pumpkin Pie Blizzard

This isn’t really like a pumpkin pie blizzard. But I want one REALLY.FREAKING.BAD so this will have to suffice. Work with me here.

Sorry I was so depressively intense yesterday. But I have to have those moments. And I know some of my readers were like, “OMG Juli, you are like, so annoying. Stop complaining. #firstworldproblems.” I get it. I understand. But based on the number of comments I got on that blog post yesterday, A LOT of people go/have gone through the same sh*t. So THANK YOU if you left a comment of advice or just to say you understand. Acne is frustrating. And stupid. I remember the days when I ate bread and felt like sh*t…but I had no acne. Blasphemy.

I need to catch you up with my life though. I feel like I haven’t talked to you in forever. Last week was kind of a lazy week. It was almost like a vacation. You know how I know that? Because one day, while I cooked, I watched Pretty Woman. Then after I cooked, I watched Pretty Woman…again. Then I watched the Sex and the City movie. And cried. I don’t know what’s worse, watching Pretty Women twice in one day, or crying during the scene where Big leaves Carrie at the alter. You think I have issues, don’t you?


You know what movie everyone will say I have issues for loving? Twilight. But I do. Love Twilight, that is. I FREAKING LOVE Twilight. And I get soooooo sick of people rolling their eyes or scoffing when I tell them that I love the books and loved the movies. People just love to hate Twilight. Especially guys. I find that some guys think making fun of me for loving Twilight is a way of flirting with me. NEWS FLASH: it ain’t. You’d have better luck talking to me about my oil cleansing routine vs. my Twilight obsession. Kidding. If you talk to me about my acne issues, I’ll cut you.

But for reals, what is up with guys hating Twilight so much? Ok, I get it, the acting isn’t very good. And the whole vampire and wolf stuff is pretty childish. But that’s totally what I thought when I first heard about the books. I was like, “OMG that is like, so totally stupid. Why would I ever read that? I’m a grown 20 year old woman.” Well, I was right on one thing, I was 20 years old. But I LOVED the books. I couldn’t put them down.  The plot may be weird, the actors may seem awkward, but the love story is Seriously. I am truly a hopeless romantic and may be that for the rest of my life, but books and stories like that make me smile. And make my heart warm. So here is what I’ve figured out…if you hate the books and if you hate the movies, you hate love. And you have no romantic drive. Or want. If I just offended you, sorryfornotbeingsorry. The truth hurts sometimes.



My Pumpkin Pie Blizzard

  • Yield: 2 1x




  1. Remove dates from the water they were soaking in.
  2. Add all ingredients to your food processor or blender.
  3. Blend until smooth and silky.
  4. Drink. With another person. And with a straw.


Want to pack some protein in that shake? Cool. Add protein powder. Duh.

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Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.

I’m a food hoarder. And a really bad dancer. If you don’t know me well, you will probably not understand my humor. Therefore, I apologize ahead of time. Thanks for listening to my ramblings of my ever-changing life and trusting my kitchen mishaps. Your trust in me is appreciated.


68 thoughts on “My Pumpkin Pie Blizzard”

  1. haha, I have the same straws, I even bring them to work so I can drink my iced coffee concoction, people think I ‘m a little crazy… I love Twilight too, I loved the books, I hated the movies though, acting was beyond sucky and it didn’t exactly follow the books… I liked that it gave the characters a face though… I’m having a twilight marathon next weekend with my sister in law and then heading to the movie theatre to see breaking dawn!! whoot!! Glad the site is up again, I had a meltdown yesterday when I tried looking up your daily recipe and thought worked had blocked my access!! I would have quit, just so you know…. 🙂

  2. Juli,

    I don’t get pumpkin pie. I tried it several kinds from the expensive to the cheapest… I don’t get it. This however I get. Thank you. I fuc34ng love you for making me have faith in this whole pumpkin dessert obsession 🙂

    Your faithful messed up fan,
    Evangeline 😉

  3. You and I are toooootally on the same wavelength. I wish I lived up by you so we’d be freaking awesome friends. I work in the Film Biz down in Miami and I helped supply gear to New Moon!! I was so freaking excited I nearly peed my pants. (Ok, maybe just a little pee). Lol jk. I totally agree that I used to make fun of people until I read all the books in under a month and am totally addicted to Twilight.. my boyfriend threw me a bday party w Twilight paper plates… yep it’s bad lol.

  4. Ah! Of course this is posted on Day 2 of my sugar detox… 19 days, I will be trying this! Or…..I may have to try it without the dates…..

  5. Acne sucks b@lls!!! I am so tired of dealing with it, I feel you…not in a creepy way, in a relatable way 🙂 And YAY for Twilight, I tend to not admit it to anyone any more but I love it too. My mom and I go to every movie in the theater! Twihards for life!

  6. Juli. Dear Juli… I think you need a vacation. Somewhere warm and sunny. Maybe cabana boys in there somewhere. Those little umbrellas in your drinks, preferably out of coconuts. I fear that soon your roomates will have an intervention and you’ll end up taking a different kind of vacation where the walls are all padded and there is no dancing (i know…i know).
    FYI: guys feel weird about twilight cause they make us feel inadequate. I mean, have you seen that hair?! That doesnt just happen, no matter how hard you blow dry it! And the other one’s neck… I cant copy that!
    Stay excellent! …and please stop placing those straws like they have ED.

  7. I tried to make myself a “pumpkin pie smoothie” the other night. It didn’t turn out how I had envisioned- at all. I was obviously missing some key ingredients- aside from the pumpkin of course (I’ll give myself that). So thank you for this- and for helping people like me.

  8. My daughter was advised to take accutane so we took the papers home to read, etc. If people read all the warnings, no one would take it. She decided it wasn’t worth the health risks, even though she is still dealing w/skin issues years later. The long-term effects of Accutane are not known yet. Please don’t take it.
    I do love your recipes! Keep cooking 🙂

  9. Juli, BTW, I love you. So on to my question: is there a difference between the canned coconut milk and the kind in a 1/2 gallon carton in the fridge section of Trader Joes? I have been substituting, but I’m not sure if it should taste more coconutty or be more fatty or anything. Thanks!!!!!

    1. canned coconut milk is pure coconut milk (other than the guar gum which is often added), the carton coconut milk is watered down and often has sugar added, along with other things. i just try to stick the canned to go as pure as possible

      1. Or you could make your own coconut milk – it’s easy. I put unsweetened coconut shreds / flakes / whatever in my vitamix w/ water and blend on high for a few minutes. If I’m making something I don’t mind the “texture” in, I don’t press the coconut meat out of the liquid. If I AM making something I don’t want the texture in, I pour it into a french press and press the meat down (seems simpler to me than trying to get it all into a milk bag and getting my hands gooey squeezing it out, then getting the meat out of the milk bag was a pain in the butt).
        Anyway, I can TOTALLY relate to your Twilight story! I was 33, going through cancer treatments and had SWORN OFF that stupid teenage soap opera series I’d heard about but my BFF had included the 1st book in a care package for me with a note that read “Just read the first few pages and if you want to stop you can.” Or something along those lines (she instinctively knew how I felt about those books). Anyway, so to oblige her, I did, begrudgingly, and COULDN’T PUT IT DOWN! I promptly found the rest of the series pirated online and read at every possible free moment (which were plentiful while going though treatments). I too, love the movies, although I’m perfectly aware (and kinda annoyed by) the bad acting and the fact that the 1st movie seemed to cut too much of the story out – one day they really had nothing to do with each other, the next day she was “unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.” The characters in the movie never seemed to have a reason to feel that deeply for one another. Even with all that, I love both the books and the movies. 🙂 You’re not alone. 🙂

  10. Why dislike Twilight? Bella has no redeeming qualities. She’s not pretty (as described in the book), athletic, smart, funny, interesting, quirky, caring, special or unique in any way…until she becomes the most powerful vampire of all! Boo. I strongly believe that each of us has a unique and wonderful trait that makes us who we are and makes us wonderful to be around – and while it may seem hidden, it doesn’t require imagination and fantasy to bloom.

  11. I cry every time at the same scene in Sex & the City. I also cry EVERY time I re-watch Twilight, when Edward leaves her, when he proposes, when they get married, and even the stinking montage at the very end.

    So no, you don’t have issues 🙂

  12. I’ve only admitted this to my girlfriend but I love the Twilight movies and read the books before the movies ever came out. Don’t tell anyone, it’s bad for my cop image 😉

    Awesome looking smoothies! I kind of miss smoothies/blizzards whatever so this will be fun to have.

  13. Great minds think alike – I made something similar this morning, but with a little honey, no dates, and a little coffee. Mmmmm So good!

  14. Twilight is fantastic. I most def saw the most recent movie which lead me to watch all four of the others this weekend which led me to crack open twilight the book. It’s like a never ending spiral. If people don’t like it fine but don’t hate on us who do! Can’t wait to try the recipe! Made the pumpkin bars they were fantastic. I also attempted to make your pumpkin French toast and it was salty which sucked but led me to the realization that my pumpkin seeds were salted! Damn you pepitas! Glad I figured it out. Ok rant over.

    Ps I also have acne and its stupid. You are beautiful don’t even worry.

  15. Stop worrying about your acne. Really, people don’t notice it as much as you imagine in your head…. And sometimes our body just does things (why thank you, sir hormone) regardless of what we eat or clean with….I would be willing to bet in a few years you wake up one morning and your hormones have evened themselves out and you have clear, zitless skin. In the meantime go eat some chocolate almonds (oh yummness) and love yourself for how beautiful you are….. 🙂

  16. I loved the Twilight books!!…the movies were not too horrible, for the most part I just hate seeing Kristen Stewart blink so many times.

    That blizzard looks delicious!

  17. Juli, I love your blog and I love Twilight. I am 29 years old and am flying from Colorado to Ohio on Friday so I can watch it with my best friends. Yeah I said it. Judge away! 😉

  18. I totally get the whole guys hating twighlight thing , its annoying (especially the flirting part zomg!) ! I mean girls always used to diss me for having seen Jean Claude Van Damme’s “bloodsport”‘ over 500 times . But now i get why , they were flirting with me! Totally makes sense .

  19. Have a question about the recipe: What’s the purpose of soaking the dates? (hadn’t heard of doing it before) Do you add the water into the blender as well? (Thank you for the recipe – maybe I can start making a dent in the 15+ lbs. of pumpkin I have in the freezer)
    Now my 2 cents of support: I cry during All State Insurance commercials… seriously. It all started when I was pregnant, 2.5 yrs have passed, and I still haven’t outgrown it.. So for you to cry during a movie; you are so rocking the normal. 😉 Hang in there with the acne, It sucks, but no matter what’s on the outside, you are so amazing and wonderful on the inside, it shines through and blinds everyone to what’s going on with your skin. 🙂

  20. I’m really enjoying your blog — thank you! I also have to chime in on the acne. It sucks!! yes, there are worse things, but that doesn’t make it suck less.

    I am prone to bad skin. Two things have helped me. First, Paula’s Choice products, only available online. I use the whole line and it’s changed my life. I still get crazy hormonal breakouts sometimes, but I think I may have found that answer: maca. It’s a root that I take in pill form, and it supposedly regulates hormones. I haven’t had those awful chin breakouts since I started it. Good luck to you!!

  21. I like Pride and Prejudice… the book and every movie version. You should give Jane Austen a try if you haven’t. Her books are hopelessly romantic in a “hey, this is still literature” way. 🙂
    Also, if you haven’t tried Proactiv – you should. Or even if you tried it long ago, try it again. I know birth control helps a lot of people with acne. You may need a different dose – or a constant dose like a patch or ring. Personally, I’d like to be off BC but I don’t want a friggin kid…

  22. You need to check out 50 Shades of Grey. (Not for the reasons everyone automatically assumes). The series is WAY addicting. I don’t usually read a WHOLE lot but I read all 3 of the books in about a month. The underlying story line is AMAZING 🙂

  23. Dude we all have those days like yesterday and mine just happened to be yesterday too so I was on your level. Thanks for all your posts, your rants make my day. Hahaha how do I make this full of protein? Oh duh…add protein!

  24. Hi Juli!! I am going on my 4th month of being 100% paleo and I am finding the same struggles with my acne, I recently started washing my face with honey and ground up oats and using coconut oil as my moisturizer. I am seeing results little by little, so one less pimple each day makes me happy! I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog and you keep me coming back because you are someone I can relate so much to! Thank you for being you, and your awesome recipes.

  25. Why not just freeze the pumpkin puree in ice cube trays so you and toss them in any smoothie for added goodness. Then you can leave out the ice. I’ve been sneaking pumpkin in a lot of my smoothies since it doesn’t have a very strong flavor. Trying this one now, and I’m excited b/c I love pumpkin everything!

  26. I am apparently addicted to pumpkin today…. I made your Pumpkin granola and this pumpkin pie blizzard 🙂 Both super delish!

  27. I’ve been having acne troubles recently as well!! UGH >.< So frustrating! Will the combo of Crossfit & Twilight make you feel better? Turns out Jacob & Edward were WODing for those sexy bodies in the most recent movie! 🙂

    xoxo, Grether

  28. Hi juli,
    Love your recipes and also wanted to comment on the acne frustrations. I took accutane about 20 years ago. No regrets. It worked well on the deep cysts I kept getting. My only side effects were dry lips and a minor bloody nose once. I definitely wasn’t depressed or moody–heck, I was happier because my skin was clear! I did have some break outs after, but managed them with spironolactone and antibiotics. I haven’ttakenanything in several years now. Talk to a dermatologist–something else might work…and if youdo try the accutane and don’t like it, you can always stop taking it. Good luck!

  29. Ahh, I’m a cinnamon addict and this drink fits perfectly into daily snack break!
    Juli, everybody is mentioned the Paleo Recipe Book on – is it worth anything? I don’t want to waste my money.
    And by the way, even my “macho-husband” reads Twilight. Please don’t tell him I mentioned it to you 🙂

  30. I felt the exact same way about Twilight! I was forced to see the first movie at midnight because my little sister needed a driver. I instantly fell in love and starting reading the books as soon as I got home. And seriously there is a lot of action in the movies so the dudes should have no problem watching, especially this last one.

  31. I LOOOOOOOVE TWILIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love love love love love. I had to stop myself from losing it at the end of Breaking Dawn 2 when she lets him read her mind. So sweet!!

    Suggestion: I have been moderately successful at getting an “I’m eating ice cream!” feeling by blending a frozen banana with some vanilla and almond butter…maybe using a frozen (very ripe) banana in place of the dates and coconut milk will give a more blizzardy texture? Or it might taste like @ss with the pumpkin…..

  32. I like Twilight, but I find the main character confusing in how that how the author describes her and the main character describes herself and her actions don’t really click together, making for some really really confusing scenes. Also, I haz a theory that men don’t like things that have to do with romance and become really really really popular.
    Also, I haz really bad acne too and sometimes I find that the coconut oil makes it even worse because it’s too thick. Also the honey may be too thick too, if you’re still washing your face with honey. Are you using raw honey or clover honey? I sometimes wonder the pollen left in raw honey causes reactions. Stuff by Burt’s Bees works pretty well though. Also, DON’T WASH WITH YOUR HANDS if you are. If you can get like a baby washcloth or a scrunchy thing (like those poofy things that the spa stores have), they work pretty well and they’re cleaner than your hands.
    Also, the blizzard is deeeelicious. xD

  33. I thought the concoction was really good, hubby thinks it’s missing something. I think I’ll add frozen blueberries next time.

  34. Forced to watch Twilight & New Moon by my daughter at 55. Became addicted, she sent me the books, and I became a proud Twihard. Even had posters on my bedroom wall. Yeah, I”m a grandmother. Screw the haters.
    Loves you Jules

  35. Best novel series with a great love story: Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. Especially if you have a thing for scottish men in kilts 🙂

  36. I love Pretty Woman and I LOVE Pumpkin smoothies. So THANK YOU. I’m going to make them at my Paleo Holiday Feast next Friday!

    I need to read Twilight and watch the movies. You’ve inspired me.

    I love your blog! You ROCK.


  37. Juli,
    I just had weird bout of rosacea, didn’t know why, was eating super clean and it just kept getting worse, and I’ve never had rosacea before, it’s been going on for about 18 mos. Got a super expensive Rx for metrogel which just dried me out. So, I surfed the internet and found a recommendation for using pure baking soda and a little bit of water to wash my face, and then food grade organic coconut oil to moisturize, only washing my face at night. Go here for the website: Might be worth a try, if you haven’t tried it already. My rosacea has cleared up in a few days and is almost gone. Good luck, acne sucks and anyone who is mean about it should have to do 500 burpees for time!

  38. This was amazing! I’ve never had a pumpkin drink, let alone a blizzard. I don’t think I ever want to now that I’ve had this. I didn’t use the dates because I didn’t have any and was too lazy to get them, so I used some maple syrup instead. I also upped the amount of ice because I wanted it as thick as a blizzard. I will need a thesaurus to come up with a word other than amazing.

  39. juli,
    i have a firefighter husband that read all the books and saw the movies with me and our teenaged daughter (she is 22 now). last weekend we went to the movies to see “skyfall” and once we got there he asked me if i wanted to see “twilight”instead…it was nice of him to ask and i think he was a little disappointed but i had my heart set on daniel craig!

  40. This smoothie recipe looks like it would make great popsicles. I would probably leave the water out. Ever since I bought popsicle molds at ikea, everything looks like it would make great popsicles. Thank you for being awesome. Sending virtual hug.

  41. The reason why I don’t like Twilight is that the main character, Bella, is so insecure, whiny, and annoying that I could not get past the first part of the book. After a few chapters, I just wanted to shake that girl and tell her, “get with it girl, its not that bad.”

  42. Girl, this smoothie is the $*it! I snuck it into my Whole30 challenge, my vegan roommate made it for us! AWESOME!

  43. My family loves this smoothie. I had some leftover roasted butternut squash in the fridge so I substituted that for the pumpkin. It made the smoothie quite a bit thicker. It was super yummy. Either way it is fantastic! Nice!

  44. I have 5 cans of organic pumpkin that need to be used by the end of the month, so I’ve been looking for recipes to use them in – that don’t ALL taste like Thanksgiving. This was was PERFECT. The coconut milk and dates gave it a fresh flavor. My sons inhaled the shake. Two thumbs up from the kindergarten crew!

  45. I just have to thank you. I am 6 days into my first Whole30 challenge. I have had a hard time today not busting into the giant bucket of my kids’ Easter candy but now, after this smoothie, I will make it through another night without stealing a Reeces egg from my children. So THANK YOU, THANK YOU. THANK YOU!

  46. Thank you, thank you! I’ve been looking and looking for a decent pumpkin-spice smoothie recipe, and every single freaking one has bananas in it. To which I am allergic. This is becoming tonight’s post-karate class snack.

  47. Just made this last night – yum yum yum yum!! Loved this so, so much that I drank the whole thing myself!!

  48. I normally love your recipes but this was bad. Keeping in mind I don’t like pumpkin pie unless its covered in ice cream. I also hate nutmeg – I should of just left it out. Just wanted to review to warn anyone that has a similar opinion of my tastes will not like this :o)

  49. Reference the acne I’ve been using a face lotion that has alphahydroxy in it and didn’t intend for it to be for that but it cured it

  50. Thanks for the recipe. I love your writing style and I’m SO glad I’m not the only adult Twihard! This whole post made my day! Thank you!

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