This isn’t really like a pumpkin pie blizzard. But I want one REALLY.FREAKING.BAD so this will have to suffice. Work with me here.
Sorry I was so depressively intense yesterday. But I have to have those moments. And I know some of my readers were like, “OMG Juli, you are like, so annoying. Stop complaining. #firstworldproblems.” I get it. I understand. But based on the number of comments I got on that blog post yesterday, A LOT of people go/have gone through the same sh*t. So THANK YOU if you left a comment of advice or just to say you understand. Acne is frustrating. And stupid. I remember the days when I ate bread and felt like sh*t…but I had no acne. Blasphemy.
I need to catch you up with my life though. I feel like I haven’t talked to you in forever. Last week was kind of a lazy week. It was almost like a vacation. You know how I know that? Because one day, while I cooked, I watched Pretty Woman. Then after I cooked, I watched Pretty Woman…again. Then I watched the Sex and the City movie. And cried. I don’t know what’s worse, watching Pretty Women twice in one day, or crying during the scene where Big leaves Carrie at the alter. You think I have issues, don’t you?
Whatever.
You know what movie everyone will say I have issues for loving? Twilight. But I do. Love Twilight, that is. I FREAKING LOVE Twilight. And I get soooooo sick of people rolling their eyes or scoffing when I tell them that I love the books and loved the movies. People just love to hate Twilight. Especially guys. I find that some guys think making fun of me for loving Twilight is a way of flirting with me. NEWS FLASH: it ain’t. You’d have better luck talking to me about my oil cleansing routine vs. my Twilight obsession. Kidding. If you talk to me about my acne issues, I’ll cut you.
But for reals, what is up with guys hating Twilight so much? Ok, I get it, the acting isn’t very good. And the whole vampire and wolf stuff is pretty childish. But that’s totally what I thought when I first heard about the books. I was like, “OMG that is like, so totally stupid. Why would I ever read that? I’m a grown 20 year old woman.” Well, I was right on one thing, I was 20 years old. But I LOVED the books. I couldn’t put them down. The plot may be weird, the actors may seem awkward, but the love story is a.maz.ing. Seriously. I am truly a hopeless romantic and may be that for the rest of my life, but books and stories like that make me smile. And make my heart warm. So here is what I’ve figured out…if you hate the books and if you hate the movies, you hate love. And you have no romantic drive. Or want. If I just offended you, sorryfornotbeingsorry. The truth hurts sometimes.
Kloveyoubye.
My Pumpkin Pie Blizzard
- Yield: 2 1x
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup canned coconut milk
- 1/2 cup water
- 1/2 cup pumpkin puree
- 1–2 cup ice cubes
- 3 dates, pitted and soaked in water for 20+ minutes
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
- 1/8 teaspoon cloves
Instructions
- Remove dates from the water they were soaking in.
- Add all ingredients to your food processor or blender.
- Blend until smooth and silky.
- Drink. With another person. And with a straw.
Notes
Want to pack some protein in that shake? Cool. Add protein powder. Duh.
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Oh You Like Pumpkin, ey?!
Pumpkin Cream Donut Sandwiches
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haha, I have the same straws, I even bring them to work so I can drink my iced coffee concoction, people think I ‘m a little crazy… I love Twilight too, I loved the books, I hated the movies though, acting was beyond sucky and it didn’t exactly follow the books… I liked that it gave the characters a face though… I’m having a twilight marathon next weekend with my sister in law and then heading to the movie theatre to see breaking dawn!! whoot!! Glad the site is up again, I had a meltdown yesterday when I tried looking up your daily recipe and thought worked had blocked my access!! I would have quit, just so you know…. 🙂
YUUUUMMMM!!!!! Juli, you are THE BEST
Juli,
I don’t get pumpkin pie. I tried it several kinds from the expensive to the cheapest… I don’t get it. This however I get. Thank you. I fuc34ng love you for making me have faith in this whole pumpkin dessert obsession 🙂
Your faithful messed up fan,
Evangeline 😉
You and I are toooootally on the same wavelength. I wish I lived up by you so we’d be freaking awesome friends. I work in the Film Biz down in Miami and I helped supply gear to New Moon!! I was so freaking excited I nearly peed my pants. (Ok, maybe just a little pee). Lol jk. I totally agree that I used to make fun of people until I read all the books in under a month and am totally addicted to Twilight.. my boyfriend threw me a bday party w Twilight paper plates… yep it’s bad lol.
Ah! Of course this is posted on Day 2 of my sugar detox…..in 19 days, I will be trying this! Or…..I may have to try it without the dates…..
Acne sucks b@lls!!! I am so tired of dealing with it, I feel you…not in a creepy way, in a relatable way 🙂 And YAY for Twilight, I tend to not admit it to anyone any more but I love it too. My mom and I go to every movie in the theater! Twihards for life!
Juli. Dear Juli… I think you need a vacation. Somewhere warm and sunny. Maybe cabana boys in there somewhere. Those little umbrellas in your drinks, preferably out of coconuts. I fear that soon your roomates will have an intervention and you’ll end up taking a different kind of vacation where the walls are all padded and there is no dancing (i know…i know).
FYI: guys feel weird about twilight cause they make us feel inadequate. I mean, have you seen that hair?! That doesnt just happen, no matter how hard you blow dry it! And the other one’s neck… I cant copy that!
Stay excellent! …and please stop placing those straws like they have ED.
I tried to make myself a “pumpkin pie smoothie” the other night. It didn’t turn out how I had envisioned- at all. I was obviously missing some key ingredients- aside from the pumpkin of course (I’ll give myself that). So thank you for this- and for helping people like me.
My daughter was advised to take accutane so we took the papers home to read, etc. If people read all the warnings, no one would take it. She decided it wasn’t worth the health risks, even though she is still dealing w/skin issues years later. The long-term effects of Accutane are not known yet. Please don’t take it.
I do love your recipes! Keep cooking 🙂
Juli, BTW, I love you. So on to my question: is there a difference between the canned coconut milk and the kind in a 1/2 gallon carton in the fridge section of Trader Joes? I have been substituting, but I’m not sure if it should taste more coconutty or be more fatty or anything. Thanks!!!!!
canned coconut milk is pure coconut milk (other than the guar gum which is often added), the carton coconut milk is watered down and often has sugar added, along with other things. i just try to stick the canned to go as pure as possible
Or you could make your own coconut milk – it’s easy. I put unsweetened coconut shreds / flakes / whatever in my vitamix w/ water and blend on high for a few minutes. If I’m making something I don’t mind the “texture” in, I don’t press the coconut meat out of the liquid. If I AM making something I don’t want the texture in, I pour it into a french press and press the meat down (seems simpler to me than trying to get it all into a milk bag and getting my hands gooey squeezing it out, then getting the meat out of the milk bag was a pain in the butt).
Anyway, I can TOTALLY relate to your Twilight story! I was 33, going through cancer treatments and had SWORN OFF that stupid teenage soap opera series I’d heard about but my BFF had included the 1st book in a care package for me with a note that read “Just read the first few pages and if you want to stop you can.” Or something along those lines (she instinctively knew how I felt about those books). Anyway, so to oblige her, I did, begrudgingly, and COULDN’T PUT IT DOWN! I promptly found the rest of the series pirated online and read at every possible free moment (which were plentiful while going though treatments). I too, love the movies, although I’m perfectly aware (and kinda annoyed by) the bad acting and the fact that the 1st movie seemed to cut too much of the story out – one day they really had nothing to do with each other, the next day she was “unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.” The characters in the movie never seemed to have a reason to feel that deeply for one another. Even with all that, I love both the books and the movies. 🙂 You’re not alone. 🙂