Cauliflower is by far the most frustrating vegetable to work with. I might as well never clean the floors because there is going to be bits and pieces of that damn cauliflower everywhere I turn, every time I try to cut it. Am I just making excuses to why I don’t sweep the floor enough? Yeah. Definitely.
Ok, so people are freaking the eff out about this new iPhone software update. I don’t know why people are so upset. The only thing that has changed is how the text messages look. And where the control panel is. And how to search your phone. And how the weather looks on the screen. And the flashlight application. And the calendar. And how it shows me stocks. I don’t care about stocks. I should, shouldn’t I?
What I think that people should be complaining to Apple about is their damn headphones they give you when you purchase a phone. Hear me out. They have the most sophisticated phones in the world that can literally keep you sitting on your couch for hours, only being alerted by your own need to use the bathroom, but they can invent an ear phone that actually resembles an inner ear? Not even close. They give you head phones that are round and flat and fit into your ear worse than popcorn. Truly. I’d rather shove popcorn in my ear than their headphones. Popcorn wouldn’t be nearly as painful. If I’m going to pay for a phone that cost like, a kagillion dollars, I’m expecting headphones that mold to my ear and make love to it. But no, just pain. I guess I bought the phone anyways, so I’m just annoying at this point.
So I finally got snap chat. I gave in. I’ve always judged people for having it. Mostly because a certain someone I know that has it, gets dirty pictures on it. You dirty girls, you. And well, I don’t want to be that girl. And I definitely don’t want to receive dirty snap chats. Guys’ selfies in the mirror are never that interesting. But my friend sent me a snap chat of him dipping a cinnamon roll in frosting the other day, so I instantly downloaded it. Food porn is always worth the 10 second download. But now I don’t really know what to do with it. I’m not into it yet.
I don’t know what kind of animal is outside of my room, but it sounds like a mix between a squirrel and chicken. Picture that ugly b*tch.
Simple Creamy Cauliflower and Artichoke Soup
- Yield: 2 1x
Ingredients
- 2 cups cauliflower, cut into florets
- 1–2 cups vegetable stock (depending how thin or thick you want the soup)
- 1/2 cup artichoke hearts (I bought canned artichoke hearts)
- 1 tablespoon fresh basil, minced
- salt and pepper, to taste
- 1–2 cup shredded chicken, to garnish (I shredded a rotisserie chicken to make it easy)
- 1/2 cup cooked bacon, roughly chopped, to garnish
- olive oil, to garnish
- hot sauce, to garnish
Instructions
- Steam 2 cups of cauliflower florets until soft.
- Place cauliflower in a Blendtec along with vegetable stock and puree until smooth using the soup button. If you do not have a Blendtec, use a food processor or blender.
- Add artichoke hearts, basil, and and a bit of salt and pepper. Puree once more to incorporate all ingredients.
- Cook bacon to preference then roughly chop it. I shredded a rotisserie chicken to make it easier.
- Place soup in a bowl, top with shredded chicken and bacon and add a few drops of olive oil and hot sauce on top of the soup.
- I found the best way to eat it was to mix it all up in a bowl mash. Wonderful.
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I hate choppin up cauliflower!
Cooked quinoa can be another difficult food to deal with too. Someone told me once that “Quinoa is the glitter of all food”. Those little grains get everywhere!
i’m completely obsessed with cauliflower right now, so this soup is definitely going to be made this weekend!!! i love that it’s so simple too – thanks, juli b!
Your posts make me laugh out loud at work. I always get the, “what the heck are you laughing at?” look!
Perfect timing…I have a head of cauliflower in the fridge that I really need to use before it goes bad. And canned artichokes in the pantry!
Would frozen cauliflower work? It is so much easier to use.
yeah!! just defrost
Made this tonight! Doubled the recipe, used half fresh basil and half dried… it was a bit too much basil (but just a bit!). Husbando requested that I add some onion next time, so I’ll have to give that a shot!
Husbando (who eats dairy) also added some shredded cheddar cheese to his bowl of soup… apparently it was amazing. I’m still sulking with jealousy. I hear that’s very healthy for a relationship…
I agree with your husband, I added 1 sweet onion to a whole head of cauliflower and 2 crushed fresh garlic cloves – it really improved the taste!
My God you are witty….one of your best pieces of writing ..EVER..
It does not hurt that this recipe is calling my name…and palate-pleasing perfection for this changing-seasons time of year…The crisper evenings send me searching for fare that’s a bit more tummy-warming than the quick big-ass salad fare…Thanks for providing a solution!
Loved Alanna’s coining of the term “cauli-floor”!!! I am adopting this word…and yes, Tiffany R…quinoa IS “the glitter of all food”…
My husband chides me for “wasting time reading the comment section”…but on your blog..it’s practically mandatory..so many tiny “pearls” to gather…
Postscript:…MADE it…but with only a chunk of leftover cauliflower…I added celery root to bring the white vegetable matter up to 2 cups…It was outrageously delicious! Thank you Julie.
It’s all about the comments! I’ve gleaned quite a bit of information from Juli’s readers over the years. Not to mention the entertainment value. If you’re reading and commenting on this blog then we have something in common so of course I want to read what you have to say.
Soooo making this tonight…..but since I have a ton of kohlrabi from my garden that has to be used up, I’ll be subbing that for the hearts (hope it works, the internet told me so…)
Thanks for the recipe!!
I’m just going to throw this out there… what do you think about adopting a dog that likes cauliflower? I love eating the vegetable, but like you… the bits go E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E! My little pup cleans it up for me.
You have been into “ears” lately, huh? If ‘the ear is the clitoris of the head,’ using iPhone ear buds should feel a lot better!
Truer words have never been spoken about those damn iPhone headphones! I agree 200%! I’m glad to know it’s not just that I have weird shaped ears!