So in this recipe, I recreated my own version of grits, with cauliflower. I tried grits one time when I was probably 19 at Waffle House. Ever been to Waffle House? It’s like dining in heaven when you’re intoxicated. For real. Eating waffles covered in thick warm syrup with a side of hash browns and eggs all swirled together is legitimately one of the best things I have ever tasted. But when I tasted my friends grits, I felt fairly neutral about them. Didn’t care for them, didn’t not care for them. It was kind of like eating baby food, in my opinion. So even though I’m calling what appears to be rice on the bottom of this bowl grits, please take that name with a grain of salt. You can call it ‘rice’. Or ‘cauliflower’. Or ‘I don’t know what the hell I’m eating’. Anything will do.

Guess what I did yesterday!? Picked up a barbell!! It’s been over a week of no barbell movement, just pretty much cardio. Running, box jumps, double unders, lunges, air squats. I was getting bored. Like REALLY bored. And being bored makes JB depressed. JB depressed means sugar consumption at it max. And JB at max sugar consumption means unhappy JB. Ugh, I hate myself for talking in the third person. Anyways, I finally felt alive again! Tired and exhausted, but alive. Lifting heavy things is just the best medicine. Truly. The size of my blister on my thumb come tomorrow is going to be unreal. And disgusting. Can’t wait!

Gosh, a lot of you hated my recipe yesterday. Sorry my food looks like an alien movie. I can’t control those things. Or my poor photography skills. Geez. Way to make me feel like a failure in life.

OMG. The other night, I was watching Diner, Drive-Ins, and Dives (Triple D, if you will) and it was an entire episode dedicated to ice cream. Like I wasn’t having a hard enough time staying away from my ice cream maker in the first place. This just made me want to make even more. Like every flavor my small little brain can come up with. Today’s blog post was almost another ice cream recipe but you paleo purist folk and non ice cream maker beholders would be super pissed if I put 2 dessert recipes up within 3 days. And you were mad enough yesterday, so I had to get back on your good side.

There will most likely be an ice cream recipe up by Friday. Be prepared to be mad at me. I’ll take the angry comments.

I’m totally and utterly obsessed with punchfork.com right now. You can also leave me hate comments for leading you to that magical website. You’re welcome.

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Summer Squash Breakfast Bowl

5 Stars 4 Stars 3 Stars 2 Stars 1 Star

4.9 from 8 reviews

  • Yield: 2-3 1x

Ingredients

Scale

For the cauliflower grits

  • 1 large head of cauliflower, leaves and stem removed, roughly chopped
  • 1 cup vegetable broth
  • 3 tablespoons hot sauce
  • 1 tablespoon tomato paste
  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon onion powder
  • salt and pepper, to taste
  • 1 garlic clove, minced
  • 2 tablespoons fat of choice (I used bacon fat)

For the bowl toppings

  • 1lb uncured smoked ham steak, diced
  • 1 zucchini, diced
  • 1 yellow squash, diced
  • 1 package mushrooms (about 8oz), sliced
  • 1/2 small yellow onion, diced
  • 1 garlic clove, minced
  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1 teaspoon dried parsley
  • salt and pepper, to taste
  • 2 tablespoons fat of choice (I used bacon fat)
  • however many eggs you want – I recommend 1-2 per person

Instructions

  1. Let’s get the veggies going. They take long. So dice them up. Place a large skilletover medium heat, add your fat of choice, add your minced garlic clove, then toss in your veggies. Use a spatula to move them around and heat all sides.
  2. Now it’s time to rice your cauliflower. Place your shredding attachment on your food processor and shred your chopped cauliflower on down. If you don’t have a food processor, you can also use a cheese grater and just grate/rice your cauliflower on that. It builds forearm strength anyways.
  3. Place a medium saucepan over medium heat and add your 2 tablespoons fat of choice to the saucepan.
  4. Toss in your minced garlic clove then once the garlic becomes fragrant, add in your riced cauliflower. Toss to help coat them cauliflower and not burn.
  5. Give your cauliflower about 2-3 minutes to begin to cook down then add your cup of vegetable broth.
  6. Let the vegetable broth cook off, about 6-8 minutes. Then add your tomato paste, hot sauce, garlic and onion powder, and salt and pepper. Mix well and set under medium heat to cook down.
  7. While your cauliflower grits are cooking down, mix your veggies around, then add your garlic powder, dried parsley, and salt and pepper. Add a splash of water to the pan then cover to let steam.
  8. Once veggies are almost done cooking, add your diced ham to mix around with all those flavors.
  9. Lastly, add a small skillet to the stove top and cook some eggs up however you like. I made my eggs over easy, because it’s just so easy!! I’m funny.
  10. Place grits down, then toppings, then some eggs. Mash it all together. And eat!

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30 Comments

  1. Sean says:

    This looks awesome. And I hate you for finding yet another way the internet can slowly leech away my time away from the gym. 🙂 JK the punchfork is the S*&%. Thanks for all you do on this site. You’re awesome.






  2. Heather Longoria says:

    Made this tonight. Soooo delicious!






  3. cinthia says:

    if you do grate the cauliflower by hand, get ready for all the debris! lol

  4. Chantell says:

    If you could stop being hilarious that would probably help me actually start cooking something. These recipes are awesome. I don’t cook. EVER. I’m starting week 2 of my 30 day Paleo challenge tomorrow and I am so effing happy I found your site. Most paleo sites have great recipes but are otherwise boring. I can’t help but imagine you typing this recipe while saying it in a southern accent. Mainly because that is how I read it. About your blister, if you use preparation H on your hands before you lift you won’t get blisters as easy. Word.






  5. Rachel R says:

    Made this for breakfast this morning. LOVED it. Especially with the yolk mixed in with the other deliciousness… I didn’t know if it would be worth all the prep but it was so, so good.






  6. Natasha says:

    Looks A-MAZ-ING!!! Can not wait to try it!

  7. Andrew says:

    My god this was transcendent. Serves 2-3? More like serves 1. To be fair I’m a college student who hadn’t eaten in almost 24 hours due to my class schedule.

    But how big is a “medium saucepan”? It took me a whole 12″ cast iron skillet to fit the cauliflower…






    1. juli says:

      i think it depends how big your cauliflower is. i tend to buy smaller ones because they suck to cut up