I think it’s about time I hire someone who will make up recipe names for my blog. I suck ass at it. I’ll pay them nothing, but I’ll feed them. Roll ups just remind you of fruit roll ups when you were a kid doesn’t it? Then gross you out since these have sausage in them? Same. Why did I ever like fruit roll ups? They never had a chocolate roll up. What was I thinking? Sometimes I hate my child self.

These are bomb though. Grilled zucchini + pesto + basil = why the hell wouldn’t it taste good? Duh. These would be perfect for a little appetizer. If I hosted parties, I’d totally make these for it. Instead I just eat all of them by myself. Life.Is.Good.

These kinda look like sushi rolls. I wish I liked sushi.

I went to the store yesterday and bought men’s clinical strength deodorant. Men’s. And I was opening and smelling every single kind. What smell was I looking for exactly? I’m trying to get dates, dates who are men. Most likely they aren’t going to be intrigued by the hue of man odor I leave behind while hugging them. Dating sucks.

Anywho, going back to life being good, I’ve been trying to be more positive lately. If you’ve read my blog much, you know I complain about petty sh*t constantly. Like the size of my ass. It’s annoying. Sometimes slightly humorous, but mostly annoying. I apologize. So I’ve been on the up and up train lately (whatever the sh*t that means) by writing a little more. I sometimes write in my gratitude journal (yes, that’s a real thing) and then I just sometimes write my feelings out for the world to see when I write for Again Faster. And that’s what I did last week. You can check out my latest article with them here.

So sweets have entered back in my life a bit. I know, I know. I don’t need to hear it. But I’m going to have to say goodbye to them once again. I’m trying to get a date here and if I eat even a teaspoon of honey, my body puffs up. No joke. I get a zit and I have a puffy stomach. What the sh*t is that. Dislike button right there. And the amount of things I’ll be cooking for my cookbook is going to be out of control. So I NEED this date so I have one more person to feed all this food to. A good looking one. Who CrossFits. And is funny. Eff you sweets. I don’t need you.

My brain is so weird.

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Zucchini Pesto Roll Ups

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4.6 from 22 reviews

  • Prep Time: 20 mins
  • Cook Time: 10 mins
  • Total Time: 30 minutes
  • Yield: 2-3 1x


  • 2 zucchinis, ends removed, sliced 1/4 inch thick lengthwise
  • 4 italian sausages (I used Boulder Sausage brand)
  • 1/2 cup walnuts
  • 1 cup fresh basil
  • 1/3 cup olive oil
  • juice of 1 lemon
  • 1 garlic clove
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • pinch of garlic powder
  • 3 extra tablespoons olive oil to cook your zucchini with


  1. Heat up your grill.
  2. Slice your zucchini with a knife or using a mandoline.
  3. Place your zucchini in a bowl with 3 tablespoons of olive oil, salt and pepper, and a pinch of garlic powder then use your hands to mix it and coat the zucchini.
  4. Place your italian sausages on the grill along with your zucchini.
  5. While the zucchini and sausages are cooking, make your pesto.
  6. Add your walnuts, garlic clove, and basil to the food processor and turn on. Then begin to add your olive oil while the food processor is still running.
  7. Then add your lemon juice and salt and pepper. Taste to see if you need more basil or lemon or salt and pepper. I think more lemon juice goes a long way.
  8. After your zucchini have cooked for about 4-5 minutes and have begun to show grill marks, flip them. Be sure to keep an eye on them because they will burn rather quickly.
  9. Once your zucchini are cooked through and sausage are completely cooked through, remove them to let cool.
  10. When your zucchini are cool to the touch, use a spoon to spread the pesto down the center of the zucchini strip and cut off an inch or so piece of sausage.
  11. Place the sausage in the middle of the zucchini so the cut sides are facing towards the outer ridges of the zucchini. You’ll figure it out.
  12. Wrap the zucchini around the sausage and use a toothpick to hold it in place.
  13. Serve to others or eat by yourself while watching the food network.


Makes 11-12 rolls

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  1. Lisa says:

    Had these for dinner tonight and my husband sad they were the sh*t! We both loved them! BTW, that’s the highest compliment you can get from him! Thanks for all your great recipes!

  2. Jenna says:

    We made these for a party last night and they were not a hit… they are really messy and difficult to eat, so most of them remained untouched on the platter. They would be better for just dinner for two with a knife and fork. Maybe even just skip the rolling part!

  3. Lauren says:

    Made these today and they were great! I added some spinach to the pesto for extra green. I think they’d be great for a party finger food.

  4. Simon says:

    These are great, made them today. I was more interested to find out if you got a date, I love reading your blogs, youre very funny. Hey, Id take you on a date anytime, but unfortunately Im in the UK, so next time youre here, give me a shout haha x

  5. Amanda says:

    I haven’t made this yet. I’m doing it as soon as I can get my lazy ass off the couch and get ready for the 30+ people who are about to come over because I hate myself inside but feel the need to overcompensate with my parties.

    I’m nut free (grow up) and will make a radish leaf versions of the pesto – but I think this will be delicious.

    Your blog is hysterical and I appreciate this recipe. Now my friend can eat something at this godforsaken clusterfuck of a party.

    Happy New Year!