I’m writing this post right now as I sit at my mechanic. My toes are cold. And I’m kinda bored because the show that is on their tv is from the 70′s, but thankfully I have my computer, so I can complain a lot to you all. Actually, it’s not from the 70′s. It’s Hawaii Five-O, and all I know is that this man is definitely wearing too much blush. And has much too furry side burns.

My car just needed some routine maintenance because she is getting old and senile, so I took her in for a face lift. As much as I love my car, I’ve been considering getting a new one. But the thing is, I bought that car when I was 16, with cash. So having a monthly car payment seems scary to me. I understand that’s what normal people do, but it’s nice to not do that. I’m going to start looking at cars. I have a plethora in mind, so it may be hard to choose. So hard, that I’ll probably not end up buying a car. Until this one dies, in the middle of an intersection, with no friendly drivers around. Big purchases are frightening. Maybe they’ll be less frightening if I have money someday. Doubtful. Mo’ money, mo’ problems.

I’m pretty sure I love hanging out with couples. I’m not really sure why, but I think I’m good at it. Being the 3rd wheel is my specialty. Thankfully I have extremely cool couple friends. I spent my Friday with my first excessively good looking pair of friends. My friend Adam, who created BodeeFit, and his wife Emily took me out to dinner. And we went fancy. To The Capital Grille. Never in my life have I ordered food that expensive. I got the seared tenderloin with butter poached lobster tail. Yeah, crazy good. Also crazy expensive. I was shocked to see the bill. How do people do that every weekend? That’s whack.

My second good looking couple I hung out with were my friends Ben and Sarah. They have the nicest house ever. Mostly because Sarah is extremely Type A and keeps it perfect. I sometimes wish I had that kind of personality. I would do laundry way more often. I just want my house to look like theirs. Someday. Probably not though. But really, I mostly hung out with Sarah because the Broncos game was on, and if you’re into sports or have a friend from CO, you know every football fan was in depression mode Saturday night. So instead of watching the entire 15 hour game, Sarah and I gossiped over mimosas. Now that’s my kind of football game.

Have you ever had the blueberry breakfast pork sausage at Whole Foods? It’s stupid delicious. And that’s where this recipe was inspired from. I have no clue what seasonings they put in their pork, since I’m too lazy to pay attention, but I guessed. So it wasn’t quite as delicious, but it still rates up there. Or I wouldn’t have blogged about it. I’m honest to you. I like you.

Caveman Feast Giveaway winners will be announced tomorrow!

4.9 from 15 reviews

 
Ingredients
  • 2-3 pound pork shoulder roast
  • 2 cups blueberries (I used frozen, just thawed them first)
  • ½ cup apple juice (the real stuff)
  • ¼ cup maple syrup (or less, if need be)
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon dried parsley
  • ½ teaspoon dried sage
  • ¼ teaspoon nutmeg
  • lots of salt, your call
  • dash of black pepper
  • 4-5 strips of bacon
  • fresh parsley, chopped (to garnish)

Instructions
  1. Place pork roast in the slow cooker.
  2. Pour in the apple juice into the bottom of the slow cooker.
  3. Pour the maple syrup over the roast then add the cinnamon, dried parsley, dried sage, nutmeg and salt and pepper on top of the roast. Then finish by topping the roast off with blueberries.
  4. Cover and cook on low for 8 hours. I did this overnight.
  5. Once the pork is done cooking, pull the meat out and shred. Pour some of the remaining liquid in the slow cooker on top of the pork to keep in moist and flavorful.
  6. Now cook the bacon in a pan on the stove top. When the bacon is done cooking, remove half of the fat, leaving behind some in your pan. Then place the bacon on a paper towel covered plate and let cool. Dice into pieces.
  7. Take half of the diced bacon and mix with your newly shredded pork. Mix together.
  8. Place your bacon fat pan over medium high heat. Use your hands or a large spoon to collect a ball of the shredded pork and bacon, then press down to create a patty. Put on skillet, press down more with a spatula, and let cook for about 3-4 minutes per side, or until crispy, then flip.
  9. Once your carnitas are crispy, add to plate, top with more bacon and some fresh chopped parsley.
  10. Eat up. An egg on top of this would be AWESOME. I know, I did it.

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