Well these stories are absolutely fantastic. If my dog could write, these are some of the things he would be saying.
Jackson, my puppy, humped another dog yesterday. You know how I said he’s becoming a teenager…it’s official now. So upsetting. Please stay a puppy forever and don’t act on pheromones. Or hormones. Or whatever the hell puppies have that make them hump before they even are potty trained. Oh the agony.
So I posted a video of Jackson getting himself stuck under the couch yesterday. He’s really into doing that lately. He can shove himself underneath it, but then gets a bit confused how to get out. At least that’s what I take his barking as. To me his saying “WTF MOM. WHERE THE HELL AM I? WHAT THE HELL KEEPS TOUCHING MY HEAD?? WHY THE HELL CAN’T I TURN OVER?? WHAT’S GOING ON?????” That’s how I interpret him. Once I posted the video, I think some people took it as puppy abuse. Not sure why. I didn’t shove him under the couch and say HAHA jokes on your mother effer! No, you psychos. I have a soul, thank you very much. People who don’t like puppies have no soul. That’s just a straight up fact.
My hair is greasy. Gross.
When you’re shopping online, do you ever put a bunch of stuff in the shopping bag then just come back a couple days later to see if you still want it? I do. I do that with pretty much everything I buy. I’m an impulse shopper. So if I leave it alone for a few days and want it when I come back, I know that I truly want it. I think. At least that’s how it feels.
Speaking of shopping, I’m so so excited to go to Austin next week for Paleofx. It’s supposed to be in the 80s. I mean, I’m making that up because that’s what it’s suppose to be in my mind. I plan on wearing mostly dresses. Because I bought about 10 of them through the winter just day dreaming about the summer. I need to get my money’s worth. Ok, that’s my story. Bye.
- Place almond milk, pumpkin puree, cocoa powder, protein powder, vanilla extract, the seasoning that are in the chai tea packet (cut the packet open and pour the seasonings out), and ice into a blender and puree until thick and smooth. I used a Blendtec twister jar and used the smoothie button to puree until perfect.
- Divide into two glasses and top with cacao nibs.
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