I can’t force this smoothie bowl on you, but if I could, I would make you eat/drink every last bite of it. Because it’s effing delicious. No joke, I constantly crave it now. Problem is, I only have so many frozen bananas in my freezer…meaning none. Get your life together, Juli. But back to the point, if you are a fan of smoothies, you’re gonna me a hella fan of this because you get the smoothie texture but then you get crunchy and sweet and salty, all at the same time. And you get to eat it with a spoon. I recommend a soup spoon because that way, you get as much as possible in one bite. But that’s just my really good advice, take it or leave it.
But who cares about the smoothie bowl right now, we need to talk about what’s important here…The Bachelor. It was pretty dramatic this week, making up for last weeks boring attempt at a show. Did anyone notice Ben’s swim shorts length? It pretty much looked like he was wearing boxers…for someone who weighs a buck fifty. There’s no way those were created to wear in public. They were clinging to his tall hairy thighs. Do you think Amanda’s children were actually running away from him on the beach because they were frightened by his thighs? Could be. It was just cruel to put Amanda’s date first because after dealing with children screaming in a car…and at home…and going to bed, any date seems way better. So all the other girls had the upper hand.
And then there was Kayla’s date. What the hell is this girl hiding? You can’t be the happy and smiley all the time. I’ve had friends like that and turns out they were hiding all kinds of weird sh*t. What is Kayla hiding? Let’s create a new campaign with that as our slogan. As they were building a toy house, I wonder if Ben was thinking…hey, maybe I could bring this back to Amanda’s kids and she could stay on the show one more week since they won’t be crying for another 10 minutes. Sadly, he forgot about the toy house and just carried her out of the factory like they are walking into their bedroom on their wedding night…with factory workers clapping. Not weird at all.
Ohhhhh another key to our puzzle. Kayla calls her parents mommy and daddy, in front of the person she wants to sleep with and an entire camera crew. THERE’S YOUR SIGN. To me, maybe you’re not prepared for marriage when you’re still calling your parents that. It creeps me out.
Now to JoJo. That girls boobs looked ON POINT at the rose ceremony. Maybe that’s what kept her in the running. Because it definitely wasn’t her family. As her brothers put Ben on blast for being on the show…when they knew exactly what the show entailed when JoJo got on it…did you notice JoJo’s mom drink straight from the bottle? That whole situation can’t leave you pumped for Christmas dinners at her house. Especially when she doesn’t even know if she loves the guy after 1 MONTH. Who doesn’t know that they love someone after 30 days??!? That’s not how this show works, JoJo! Fall in love or leave the island, what I always say. What?
- 3 frozen bananas
- 2 cups almond milk
- 1 heaping scoop chocolate protein powder
- 2 tablespoons sunflower seed butter
- 1 tablespoon cocoa powder
- 1 teaspoon honey or maple syrup
- ½ teaspoon vanilla extract
- ⅓ cup coconut flakes
- ⅓ cup paleo granola
- ⅓ cup almonds, chopped
- ¼ cacao nibs
- 1-2 bananas, chopped
- Place bananas, almond milk, protein powder, sunflower seed butter, cocoa powder, honey, and vanilla extract in a blender and blend until smooth and creamy.
- Pour mixture into 2-3 bowls and top with all toppings and whatever toppings you prefer!
More Easy Egg-Free Breakfasts: