Ok, I’ll be honest. I created this recipe out of laziness. I wasn’t really in the whole cooking mood, other than salt and peppering a steak and calling it an entire meal, so I made something up that would be easy. Well, that was dumb. I had to dice up fruit!!! Way more than I really wanted to do today. Fruit should be easy. That’s why I spit and laugh at watermelon. Who do you think you are watermelon? Being all sorts of pain in the ass to cut. I hate you. I’m kidding. I don’t spit at the watermelon. I hock enough loogies in the gym that I have nothing left once I get to the store. I just had to sound out loogies. Spell check doesn’t recognize that word. Nor do I.
I bite my lips when I’m anxious. I’m by my lips this very second. I wonder where my anxiety is stemming from right now…
Back on track.
Things are about to get real annoying this week. The CrossFit Games have begun. That means the only thing on my Facebook newsfeed are posts related to Camille in her swimsuit and how every man on this planet has a crush on Rich Froning. We get it people. You want to be tan and jacked. But the last thing you should be doing is professing your love for another man over the world wide web. It’s just not a smart idea. And he won’t love to you back. I’m speaking from experience people, trust me. I’m kidding. Froning isn’t my type.
I just wrote a post about Julie Foucher on my Facebook. I’m that annoying person. I hate myself.
I woke up to something extremely thrilling the other morning. My AC window unit. Not only was it making the sound of an icee machine, but it was spraying ice directly at my face. Spitting, if you will. Chunks of ice shooting like shards of glass into my face isn’t exactly what I love to wake up to. I’m kidding. It was kind of great. Temperatures are rising once again in CO. I GOTTA GET MY TAN ON FOR LAKE POWELL. I’m kinda excited. I gotta decide what I’m going to cook for 22 people on a house boat. Gotta make sure I don’t disappoint Tommy. His tattoos are intimidating. Who am I kidding? I know mine intimidate him more. That’s a joke. Check out his clothing line. His models are really good looking. Who doesn’t like creeping on good looking people?!
For the dip
- 1/2 cup Coconut Cream Concentrate or homemade coconut butter
- 2 tablespoons nut butter (I used sunbutter which is from sunflower seeds but almond butter would work even better)
- 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 tablespoon raw honey
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
For the caramel
- Place dates in a bowl of water to soak and soften. Just enough water so it covers the dates.
- Once your dates have soaked for about an hour, remove them from the water, and add them to a food processor and pulse until dates have broken down (less than a minute).
- Then add your coconut milk tablespoon by tablespoon to the dates while the food processor is still running. Then add your water as well.
- Now add your vanilla extract, cinnamon, and pinch of salt and mix together.
- Place in fridge to cool.
- Now make your chocolate dip. Mix all dip ingredients in a bowl. That's really it. If you need to, heat up your coconut butter to make mixing easier.
- Top your chocolate dip off with your caramel. The caramel is a lot like me, bottom heavy, so it may sink. BUT IT'S OK. It will still taste delicious.
- Now take your fruit, dip it in the chocolate caramel dip and be merry. Fruit tastes like heaven.