I don’t want to say it, but I’m going to. I have officially made the best paleo brownies I’ve ever tasted. I know that’s bold, I know that’s conceited, I know I know, but it’s just the truth so…sorryfornotbeingsorry. I made these the other night out of desperation. This is how it always happens. I stay at home on a Saturday night, watching The Notebook, thinking about how love isn’t real and no man is ever going to love me like that, then I get bored, then I start wandering around the kitchen, then random ingredients start piling out onto the counter, then I somehow mix these ingredients together, bake them, and a new recipe is suddenly created. If I had planned this out, been emotionally stable, and actually thought more about the ingredients I was incorporating into my dessert, it would have turned out like crap. You can thank my emotional sh*tshow last week for rewarding you with this delicious recipe. You’re welcome.
So the whole reason I was even able to make these amazing little treats is pretty cool. I walked into the house on Saturday, welcomed by 2 packages. Not two dudes, sadly. But FedEx style boxes. Omg was I stoked. You know exactly what I’m talking about…when a package comes to your door and even though you know what it is, you’re still smiling like a school child. Ugh, children. That’s how I felt though. Pissing myself with joy. BUT I had no idea what the packages were. So here is what went down.
- I opened the first package and BOOM…The New Primal sent me some delicious Pocket Paleos!!!! WICCCCKED. I opened one of the packages right on the spot with pineapple in it and dug in. Really good. Nuts, jerky, and dried fruit. How the hell could you go wrong?! Check them out. Love love loved the packs.
- Then I opened the other box. I was kind of in shock when I saw what was in the box. Six bags, six, of Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips. Like, are you kidding me?
Holy crap, that was a lot of links. I hate that. My b. It had to be done though, it had to be done.
So now I have 6 bags of chocolate and have to figure out what to do with all of them. Jesus my life is full of intense decisions. I live the hard life. Filled with gluten free, dairy free, soy free chocolate. I think that means it’s just pure sugar. But I’m very ok with that. Even more ok with that than I can explain. And once you try these brownies, you will be too.
Here is the warning, if you don’t like dried figs…you’re stupid. Straight up. I’m sorry, but figs are orgasms in your mouth. BUT, just to make sure everyone is satisfied in this relationship of ours, know that you can always substitute the figs for dates. I can’t promise you it’ll taste the same, but whatever. I don’t even care. I warned you.
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Pull out your handy dandy food processor and add your figs to it. Puree until your figs have broken down evenly.
- Add your melted coconut oil to the processor to mix with the figs.
- Next add your melted chocolate chips and eggs and mix.
- Now add your coconut flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt and mix together.
- So I made these in silicone muffin liners in my muffin tin, filling them up halfway and they cooked perfectly. I'm not sure what they would be like if you baked them in a normal 8x8 baking dish.
- Fill 12 liners with the THICK brownie batter. Yes, it should be that thick. That's why my brownies look like sh*t in the picture. Totally the brownies fault.
- Bake for 20-25 minutes.
- Let cool before consuming. Seriously. They honestly taste even better the second day around!
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