Remember when I talked about this mousse? I told you we would have the recipe for this mousse someday. I told you!! Well that day has finally come. Hope you love it. Don’t be deceived by the picture that didn’t come out too great since I was trying to get a picture done in less than a minute. It actually does taste amazing. We winged it on stage so I’m winging this recipe again and it still came out delicious! George is a genius, truly. If you haven’t checked out Civilized Caveman by now, I don’t know where you been livin’. Remember, my recipe doesn’t have crumbled bacon on top, but that’s because I had no bacon in the house. I know, I suck. But candied walnuts ain’t so bad, bro. So stop hatin’.
So I went jeans shopping this week. I did it. I put a good chunk of money into my checking account in hopes that I wouldn’t feel restricted to not buy more expensive jeans. My goal was to actually find jeans and not be depressed by the couple pairs that didn’t fit. And I took Sergio with me to make sure I didn’t cry, which thank goodness I did because I absolutely would have if he weren’t there. I totally almost sh*t the bed when I broke a nail trying to pull up some of the jeans at Nordstrom. And I f*cking got my nails done the day before so I was pissed. Obviously. I’m cussing about it. I’m a child. I pretty much had demin blue coloring under my fingernails from all the squeezing and uncomfortable pulling into the jeans. It’s not easy getting my ass into jeans, it’s not easy at all.
Anywho, after trying on quite a few pairs of jeans at Nordstrom, I finally found a pair. First I tried on Joe Jeans, but my butt looked weird. Then I tried on Paige Jeans but they didn’t look totally right. Then Mother Jeans which gave me a gap in the waist. Then I finally found the best pair for my chunky butt. Citizen of Humanity jeans. At least I think that’s what they are called. Anywho, of course they were the most expensive ones I tried on. OF COURSE. But I decided to take the plunge since I didn’t see any light on the horizon when it came to any other jeans. You know what that put me back? Please don’t be disgusted with me, I’m already disgusted enough with myself. And I’m really trying to feel comfortable in my own skin. Back to the point, I spent $224.00 on ONE pair of jeans. I know, I’m gross. And I really don’t have that money to spend, but I had to do it. I can’t keep crying in dressing rooms thinking my body is disgusting because nothing fits, I can’t. So I did it. I bought the jeans. Then moved on with my life.
I then moved on to Abercrombie. I know, I’m not 16 years old, but a couple people recommended those jeans on my blog so I thought it was worth a try. Turns out, it wasn’t. My bubble butt doesn’t work in those jeans. Bummer.
I moved on once again. Sergio stayed very patient through all of this and did not complain whatsoever. Or act bored. He’s the best. So we went to Lucky. I finally found a pair of jeans that I liked after trying on a few, but they were too short. Highwaters ain’t my thang. But the Sophia cut is pretty great if you are looking for a curvy fit. So I moved on, not trying to order those jeans online in a longer cut. Never a good idea.
We waddled our way to the Buckle. Terrible idea. I don’t like bedazzled jeans. On women or men in bedazzled jeans. More importantly, on myself. No need to bring more attention to that area. I walked in, felt like I was 14 this time, then walked out when ALL of the jeans had rhinestones on them or stitching that you could see from a mile away. Ew. Not my cup o’ tea.
Last but not least, I went to the Gap. Thank goodness I passed it or I would have completely forgot about that place. So I walked in, found their 1969 Curvy Fit (long) jeans, and got two pairs of those bastards! They fit great!! Not quite as great as the $224 pair I had just purchased but good enough. Only problem is I have to get them hemmed and have no clue where to go in Denver. Yelp is probably my best bet. Unless YOU know one!! Give me answers.
All I can conclude from spending $375 on jeans is that I still don’t love how I look quite yet. This has been a battle my entire life that I joke about through my blog to deal with the upset and frustration, but I really hope to someday be content with what I have and what I look at in the mirror. CrossFit has completely changed my body, in a way that I’m not comfortable with. I love the muscle I have created, but hate the shape my body has taken on. And hate is a strong word. I envy the women whose bodies never change but at the same time, I know we all feel the ups and downs of body image.
As the next year goes by, I hope to be able to create a happier me. That’s much more comfortable in my own skin. As for now, I’m taking some steps to fix my skin and to create a body I’m happy with. Let’s see how this year goes!
Can you believe you just read an entire blog post about jeans? I’m sorry.
- 1 can (14 ounce) full fat coconut milk left in the fridge overnight (it must be canned!)
- ¼ cup sunflower seed butter (or any nut butter)
- ⅓ cup raw honey
- ¼ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
- ½ teaspoon cinnamon (or more)
- pinch of salt
- 1 banana, sliced
- 2-3 tablespoons coconut oil
- 1 teaspoons raw honey
- ¼ teaspoon cinnamon (or more)
- handful of chopped walnuts
- pinch of salt
- bacon (optional- optional because I had none at my house to make crumbles with)
- Place full fat coconut milk in your food processor. I used my blendtec because it’s absolutely amazing for this kind of thing. Be sure to add in the coconut water and pulp that may have separated while being in the fridge.
- Then add in nut butter, raw honey, cocoa powder, cinnamon, and a bit of salt. Puree until smooth. Pour in ramekins and place in fridge for 3+ hours to completely set. If you want a even harder mousse, place in the freezer to help harden more.
- Once mousse has set, place 2-3 tablespoons of coconut oil in a small skillet over medium-high heat.
- Add in honey to melt just a bit then add in sliced bananas.
- Sprinkle with cinnamon and pinch of salt.
- Once the bananas have caramelized on one side (about 2 minutes or so) flip with a spatula, then toss in chopped walnuts, and let both caramelize even more.
- Remove from heat to let cool just a bit then top your mousse off with this goodness.