You know what I hate? Well, it seems like a lot of things by sound of my posts at times, but that’s not totally true. I do hate one thing for sure, though. Expensive purses. Yep, I hate them. Sh*t like Louis Vuitton, Burberry, Gucci, or any of those brand names that I absolutely have no idea how to spell…yeah, I hate them. I’ve never been a brand name person. Maybe it’s because I can’t afford that kind of crap OR MAYBE it’s because I have a brain and I use it. What’s the point of an expensive purse? Most of the time, when you take it to a restaurant or bar, you end up having to put it on the floor since the table isn’t big enough. Do you know what’s been on the floor of that bar? I do. I’ve had friends that have peed on the floor while standing at the bar. Legit peed. Then I’ve had friends that have puked into their hands and threw it on the floor. This conversation isn’t about my selection in friends, so we’re moving past that. You’re telling me that paying over $500 for a purse (well, really over $30) makes sense when you may be drenching it in pee? That’s effing stupid.

And not only do our purses get dirty on the outside, but on the inside…oh dear lord. Well actually, most women probably don’t make quite as much of a mess as me, but I utilize my purse as a wod bag. While most women carry there make up, sunglasses, and Blackberry, I carry my PurePharma fish oil, my AgainFaster rope, my protein powder, shaker bottle, multiple headbands, 4 forks, usually some kind of container of meat, and Artisana coconut butter packets. Real lady like. Ok ok, I do have a wallet as well as a cherry chapstick in there, but that’s really to just make people think I have a least a few feminine qualities. It didn’t fool Jake when he looked in there at the gym, though. The guys I wod with can’t be fooled. They know I’m a dude.

So what do I do to thank them for appreciation my masculinity?! Make them chili. That’s a given, don’t you think? And chili with bacon in it just makes even more sense. It’s so weird chili has a name. All it really is is a bunch of crap all cooked up a big pot. Or saucepan like me. I don’t have a pot. Stupid.

Look at this fun little video from Again Faster.

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Smoky Bacon Chili
 

Ingredients
  • 1lb ground beef
  • 6 slices of bacon, cubed
  • 1 yellow onion, diced
  • 1 red pepper, diced
  • 1 green pepper, diced
  • 1 garlic clove, minced
  • 1 (14) ounce can of fire roasted tomatoes
  • 1 (8) ounce can of tomato sauce
  • 1 tablespoon garlic powder
  • 1 tablespoon chili powder
  • 2 tablespoons smoked paprika
  • 2 teaspoons cumin
  • 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • salt and pepper, to taste
  • 2-3 sweet potatoes (optional)

Instructions
This really ain’t that hard people. Check this out. I served my chili over sweet potatoes because I think I’m cool like that. So do it.
  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Poke holes in your sweet potatoes with a fork. Place on rack in oven and cook for about 30 minutes or until potato is soft and cooked through.
  2. Now pull out a large pot, add your cubed bacon and let cook down.
  3. While the bacon is cooking, chop all your veggies.
  4. When the bacon has browned and is a bit crisp, add your veggies.
  5. Let cook for about 6 or so minutes, then add your ground beef and all the spices.
  6. Once the beef is browned, add your tomato sauce and fire roasted tomatoes.
  7. Mix well and let all the flavors meld together while cooking on low for the next 8 minutes or so, stirring occasionally.
  8. Then split open your sweet potato, pour your chili over it, and eat. Delicious