These cookies kind of look like dinosaur poo. Ah well.
There are things in this world that will never make sense to me. Like why Facebook is so addicting. It’s the first thing I look at…on my phone…on my computer…on someone else’s computer. It’s just wrong. Especially since I don’t know half the people I’m friends with on Facebook. So I look through the newsfeed of people’s daily lives and get nothing from it. I don’t care if Betty Jo got a new cat. Who the f*ck is Betty Jo?! Maybe I shouldn’t add people I don’t know on Facebook. Nah. That would just be rude. Jk, I denied someone today. Suckaaaaa.
I’m so b*tchy right now.
I also don’t understand why sugar makes me fat. Please don’t leave a link in the comments leading me to why sugar is bad for you. I understand it BUT I don’t understand it. Makes sense, right? Thought so. The thing is, I’m so kind to sugar, buying it often, kissing it, singing to it…and it gives me nothing back. Oh wait, it does give me love handles. Those things are cute, right? Thought so. Back to the point, I don’t understand why sugar doesn’t like my body. Or nuts. So the cookies on here today, I didn’t actually try. My roommate Steph did. So if they suck, blame her.
Anywho, wanna know about my weekend?! Of course you don’t. So I’ll tell you all about it. This is how it started. I went boating and got to hang out with my girlfriend Rhonda. She’s pretty rad. And good looking. Then Laura and I did a rope climb workout with our friend Clark at CrossFit South Denver and spent part of Saturday at the pool. Getting in the pool kinda sucked because of the rope burn I was blessed with from rope climbs. Then we made tostadas. Then we topped them with guac, beef, and lettuce. Then we ate them. Then we ate a balls ton of beet chips with guac. Then we watched ‘This Means War’ and laughed pretty hard. Then we went to bed. Oh, and I made a cooking video this weekend. So exciting. In retrospect, if I knew what that actually meant, all I did was tan this weekend. I have multiple tan lines. I even put on a swimsuit that I bought 2 years ago. Thank gosh it fit. Only 3/4 of my ass was hanging out. Keepin’ it classy. Everyday all day.
- 2 cups blueberries
- 1 cup walnuts
- 2 tablespoons walnut oil (or almond or coconut, etc.)
- 1.5 cup almond flour
- ⅓ cup dark chocolate chips
- 3 tablespoon maple syrup
- 1 egg, whisked
- 1 tablespoon cinnamon
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- ¼ teaspoon baking soda
- pinch of salt
- coconut crystals, to top (optional)
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Place your two cups of blueberries in a saucepan over medium heat. Cook for 8-10 minutes, stirring frequently,
- While your blueberries cook, add your walnuts to your food processor and puree until the walnuts are turning more into a chunky nut butter. Then, while your food processor is still running, add your walnut oil to make a walnut butter.
- Then add your blueberries to your food processor with your walnuts. Puree until they are completely mixed together
- Now pour your batter into a large bowl and add the remaining ingredients. Mix well.
- Use a spoon or ice cream scoop to scoop out 1-2 tablespoon sized dollops of batter. Place each dollop on a parchment paper lined cookie sheet. My batter made 15 cookies.
- Bake cookies for 18-23 minutes.
- Let cool. Use a spatula to safely remove the cookies. They may stick.
- Eat em!