First things first – these muffins are absolutely, positively perfect. I loved them so damn much! Luckily I still have leftovers in the fridge! When you take them out of the oven, they are crispy on top and soft and fluffy on the inside. Sweet, but not too sweet. And crunchy and gooey inside. I love them. But let me preface this recipe by telling you that I do not know how to alter the recipe. I used this paleo mix because I wanted to try it out and see how it compared to using my own ingredients and ratios. And I love it! I couldn’t find it in the store near me so I bought it online and you may need to do the same if you can’t find it in your own store. If you don’t have the mix and don’t want to buy the mix, then try out any of my other muffin recipes here! But again, I don’t know how to alter the recipe to make it without the mix.
Let’s do a little Bachelor recap because each date gets worse and worse. It’s horrifying. But in the great words of Corinne, “We should take every moment as great” and she obviously has words to live by, so I’m going to try to make sense of all these dates because I want to take every moment great.
So to start the episode out, all the girls are told that they are going to Milwaukee. Is Milwaukee a cool place because the way they screamed and bounded up and down gripping each other, you’d think they were going to f*cking Cabo or something. They get to Milwaukee and they are really reaching for things to say, “Oh wow, look at all the ducks.” Ok, whoever the hell said that, there are ducks anywhere. You don’t have to go to Milwaukee to see ducks. You’re trying too hard and it’s extremely obvious. Danielle was chosen to go on the first one-on-one date in Milwaukee and maaaaaan did her date suck. Decorating cookies with frosting that turns your mouth black is just not the first step to a sexy date. But then ABC planting one of Nick’s ex-girlfriends to run into while on the date, now that’s far worse. Danielle, being the awkward laugher/cackler that she is, instantly hugs his ex-girlfriend and giggles. Best friends! And then she had to sit back and listen while Nick complimented his ex-girlfriend. And we thought romance was dead! The whole date Nick just pointed out the places where he grinded on girls as a young teenage boy. Nick, that isn’t what girls want to hear. Just take note of Danielle’s awkward laughing and compliment her deep-plunging dresses, which seem to match your same look, and the date will go fine. The less you talk, the better. But for real, how many plunging neckline dresses does she own? It’s like every seen with Danielle is a reminder of JLo circa 2000.
My favorite part of the entire episode was Danielle mentioning that she doesn’t want to rush into a relationship. You’re on the Bachelor, sweetheart, the jig is up.
The group date activity was the only thing they could figure out to do in Milwaukee, other than the roller skating rink which was already taken for a one-on-one date, which was going to the farm to shovel poop. Excuse me, Bachelor franchise, this is not dating via farmersonly.com. This is a franchise built around millions of dollars and you’re making the girls sleep in bunk beds, drink cheap booze (I don’t know this for a fact but I’m extremely good at speculating), and go on dates on a farm. Get your sh*t together. You’re being cheap assh*les. Corinne, who I still fully believe is an actress, did he normal sloshingherwordstogether for no apparent reason and refused to pick up poop. Which I fully support. She also grabbed her boobs quite a lot on camera. That part was kind of strange, but whatever, you do you, Corrine!
Ok lastly, Raven’s date. I still can’t get it out of my mind that Raven looks like Wednesday Addams. Try to unsee that. Try! So Raven got to go to Nick’s little sisters soccer game and meet his parents there. I’m pretty sure the entire soccer team were all Nick’s siblings. He does have 11. Think about that for a while, birthing 11 children. How is Nick’s mothers female anatomy still in place? And do you think her abdomen is just sheer at this point from housing some many humans inside? I imagine it as paper thin. But I know nothing about birthing 11 humans so who am I speculate. Anyways, Raven goes to the soccer game then goes roller skating and you know what she says? It’s the best date she’s ever been on. And honestly, I kind of believe her since she’s from a little small country town. But if a guy ever took me to meet his parents at a soccer game on a first date, I would be weirded out. And unhappy that I wasn’t chowing down on scallops and getting overly buzzed at an expensive restaurant. But I guess I just have certain first date expectations that are beyond the Bachelor franchises budget.
PS – Raven, when you tell the story about your ex-boyfriend cheating on you, no need to say you caught him mid thrust. You can simply say you caught him in the act, we all know what it looks like.
Well, ending on that note was a blast! Let’s watch a quick cooking video!
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
- Place all ingredients in a bowl and mix with a spatula until well combine.
- Line a muffin tin pan with silicone muffin liners and use an ice cream scoop to scoop the mixture into each silicone muffin liner (just FYI - this batter made 14, almost 15 muffins, so after my 12 finished cooking, I cooked the last 3). Place in oven and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until slightly browned on top.
- Remove from muffin tin and place on a cooling rack. Once muffins are slightly cooled, run a knife around the edge of the silicone liner to ensure the muffin comes out clean.
More Muffins, Please!
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