I missed you!! I feel like I haven’t cooked and haven’t blogged in like, 80 years. That’s because I got a cold. A summer cold. Did anyone even know that was possible? Gross. Just gross. People giving other people germs is gross. But I’m back on my feet and back to not hating absolutely everything. So I need to update you on some things. So much has happened since we talked last week. Let’s do this.
So I was in California last week for work. Barely got to workout so I was a bit grumpy. I don’t know how people do it. I get so agitated when I don’t work out on a regular basis. Then I hate people. And I’m not a hateful person. Except for when I’m sick.
Once I got back to town, I picked up an adorable pup to dogsit for a few days. I’m not one for small creatures, such as dogs, cats, hamsters, or children, but this dog is different. He’s super well behaved, the perfect size, and is so so happy. He’s the greatest dog I’ve come across so far. If I knew the dog I purchased would be like this dog, then I’d definitely get one. But alas, that’s tough to find. Same with children. If I knew he or she would be potty trained, sleep all day until I felt like playing, and smiled constantly, then I’d totally give birth to one. But alas, it doesn’t work like that. Fudge.
Well, the dog and I have been having a blast. We walk together, we go to Whole Foods, we go in the creek, we play ball. I’m pretty much the best parent ever. Until Sunday. I went up to Wyoming to sell my cookbook at the Wyoming CrossFit Open and felt my body start shutting down. I had a fever, I was getting tunnel vision, and I just felt like balls. It probably had to do with only sleeping an hour the night before because I felt so off and because I had barely eaten that day. No sleep + no food = hell for Juli. So I got in my car before the competition had even ended, and found a Walgreens in my Google maps so I could load up on some kind of cold drugs to help me from dying during the 2 hour drive home. Well, it took me to a trailer park. Not a walgreens. I immediately turned around and started bawling. No, not crying. Bawling. That intensified my feeling of not being able to breathe. Or see. Or keep my eye makeup intact. So I had to stop at Walmart on my way home, get some really chocolatey trail mix and pain meds, all while having mascara running down my face. To say it kindly, it was embarrassing. But once I got home, after handing off my 2 pounds of chocolatey trail mix to a homeless person so I wouldn’t eat the entire bag in one night, I slept from 6pm to 7am. It was magical. I still felt like balls, but I could eat again. Eating makes me happy. So my parenting skills were put on hold. Thank gosh for roommates or that little pup would bored out of his little puppy brain.
Now I’m back on my feet, back to working out, and back to eating. I’m really craving chocolate pudding right now. I’m not sure why, I can’t even taste anything. Nor can I breathe while I eat. So I have to eat by myself in order to chew with my mouth open without offending others around me. Remember, that is one of my biggest pet peeves so I refuse to subject others to those annoyances that were brought on by this gross sickness.
- 2 tablespoons duck fat (or other kind of fat)
- 1 head cauliflower, cut into florets
- 3 tablespoons coconut aminos (or gluten free soy sauce)
- 3 teaspoons sesame oil
- 2 teaspoons fish sauce
- 1 teaspoon sriracha
- 2 garlic cloves, minced
- 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cubed
- 4 ounces button mushrooms, sliced
- 1 orange bell pepper, sliced
- 1 tablespoon minced jalapeño
- 1 teaspoon minced fresh ginger
- 1-2 cups mango, cubed
- 3-4 tablespoons green onions, diced
- cilantro, to garnish
- salt and pepper, to taste
- lime juice, to garnish
- Add the florets of cauliflower to a food processor with the shredding attachment to rice the cauliflower.
- Place a large skillet or saucepan over medium-high heat and add duck fat and riced cauliflower to the pan
- Then add 2 tablespoons coconut aminos, 2 teaspoons sesame oil, 1 teaspoon fish sauce, and 1 teaspoon sriracha, along with a bit of salt. Mix to coat and let sit to let the cauliflower begin to brown.
- While the "rice" browns, place another skillet over medium heat, add 1 teaspoon sesame oil along with minced garlic and the cubed chicken. Pour 1 tablespoon coconut aminos and 1 teaspoon of fish sauce over the chicken.
- Once chicken has browned and almost cooked through, add mushrooms, bell pepper, jalapeno, ginger, mango, green onions and a bit of salt and pepper to the chicken and cover to let steam.
- Once mushrooms and peppers are soft, add chicken mixture to the cauliflower rice and mix well.
- Add a bit more salt and a dash of pepper.
- Top of roughly chopped cilantro and a squeeze of lime juice.