I just like eating too much guys. It’s a problem. I go through the stages of eating more than I need to. I’m not sure why. Maybe I’m emotional right now? Probably not, I lack those. So maybe it’s because I’m getting stronger? Highly doubt that. I think it’s just because I like consuming food more than the average person. Guess it makes sense that I have a food blog, it gives me a reason to snack more than most humans…right? Sadly no. I gotta remember eating 4lbs of almond butter in a day won’t help out my ghetto booty. Nor will it help out my digestive tract. Have you noticed how much my weekend blogs are based around almond butter? I think I need to go to ABA. Almond Butter Anonymous for any of you who didn’t get that clever acronym joke.

So let’s chat about the weekend. It was slightly productive. I mean, I got a bunch of errands done, so it was productive in that aspect. Cooked a lot. Then got some pretty damn intense chaffed thighs. That sucked. And looks ugly. Good thing I’m single. But we’ll get to that story. Let’s first chat about the food.

So we all started our Friday night off right with some grilling. Ashley and Cheez wanted to get together to cook up some good food before we headed out for our bike ride on the Denver Patio. We grilled up lots of chicken, peppers, pineapple and cooked some onions with bacon. When Ashley told me she wanted to grill chicken, I immediately thought about BBQ, then in turn thought about my friend Dom, then thought about his amazing idea at blueberry BBQ sauce, then thought about a paleo blueberry bbq sauce. My mind was obviously going 1289 mph. My brain is exhausting. Thank god I had a venti Americano with an extra shot and heavy cream that morning or I might have not thought of all of that. My brain runs off of Americanos, I swear. But anyways, while I cooked up with BBQ chicken, Ashley made an amazing concoction of bacon, carmalized onions, and added the grilled pineapple to it while Kevin, Cheez and RJ all manned the grill.

The food turned out great, the company was awesome, and we then finished the night off on the Denver Patio. Not sure what the hell that is? Click the link you idiot. Or look at the picture below. It’s this cute little machine that everyone sits on and peddles to propel you forward. And when I say propel, I mean move you forward at a pace of .05 mph. It’s exhausting. I’ve never peddled so much and so fast in my life, all without any reward. It’s definitely an awesome idea and company though. You bike downtown, get flipped off a lot since you’re holding up traffic, and they take you to bars in the Denver area all while jamming out to your own tunes while consuming alcohol. Winner. I didn’t drink this weekend though. My alcohol induced dancing weekends have been all too frequent lately so I’ve had to cut back. My love handles obviously love alcohol. Stupid handles. But the best part of the night was how chaffed my thighs became after peddling for 2 hours. I was incredibly intelligent and wore a skirt. Why did I wear a skirt when I knew I’d be biking? Oh, well because my DAMN THIGHS don’t fit in any of my shorts or pants anymore. So I have the choice of dresses, skirts, or workout clothes. I had to at least try to be a girl. Obviously not a lady though. Flashing onlookers in a bright yellow skirt is not lady like.

holy crap

Denver Patio Bike Planking–Talk about good advertising. Isn't that ghost in the picture creepy?

Saturday started off fantastic since I had another bike ride to Starbucks to help chaff my thighs more. Guess what I had? If you don’t know by now, you don’t read well. After having an Americano with an extra shot and heavy cream, coaching a wod with CrossFit Lodo was a blast. I doubt any of the athletes could understand me because I was talking so fast, but I loved it. Those coaches and athletes are so damn awesome. I then proceeded on to grocery shop and cook the night away. Saturday nights are just so fun when they are spent in the kitchen. Unless it’s my kitchen. And everything is breaking. Like my oven. F*ck that oven. After cooking up a storm, I consumed a pint of coconut ice cream. With some added honey. I don’t want to talk about it. I’m single ok? Give me a break. Moving on.

I don't want to talk about it

So now it’s Sunday. I’ve consumed 2 Americanos (one of which I’m high off of right now) and am feeling fantastic. I coached at CrossFit Broadway and watched some awesome people get their butts kicked by burpees. Good day. I then proceeded on to grab some lunch with Laura and Sarah at Hanson’s. Laura was raving about this place because of their goat cheese salad so we decided to try it out. This place looks like a crap hole on the outside, but is super nice on the inside. And the food….BOMB. I went for a cheat so stop sh*tting yourself when you hear about what I ate. I don’t regret it. It was too good. I got a burger with caramelized onions, mushrooms, and blue cheese. Holy sh*t blue cheese is so tasty. That flavor is awesome. If you disagree, you’re wrong. I also had a side of zucchini fries. Those little straws are breaded and cooked in canola oil so how could they taste bad? I mean come on. And I dipped them in ranch. Oh happy day.

We might be going to a cupcakery now. Oh happier day. My ass may be growing from today. Sergio will love that. He enjoys making fun of how I walk. I can’t help how far my ass sticks out. And I can’t help how awkward I am. Huge ass + awkward turtle walk = me. Thus why I’m single. K bye!