What a terrible recipe name. Sorry. Not really.
I’m officially back to normal life after my book tour. Grocery shopping almost every day, working out almost every day, and cuddling with Jackson more than normal people do. It’s great. And thankfully, I’m back to cooking a little bit. It’s tough when you don’t cook for a while and then you have to get your mojo back. Especially if you don’t have a mojo. Or know what a mojo is.
Speaking of mojo, my friends think I need to get a little more cynicism in my life. Because I’ve lost some of my cynical mojo. I can agree with them. I get it. But what they don’t understand is the cynical attitude that builds up inside and I just keep locked down. Because most of the frustration comes from people’s remarks about my blog. It gets a bit annoying to write and share recipes on a daily basis when I am constantly criticized no matter what I post. D*cks.
More and more I keep hearing about how people are frustrated since I don’t eat strict paleo (I’ll eat gluten free breads or a gluten free dessert) but I run a paleo blog. I get it: I’m a fake, a fraud, a liar. Minus the liar part, since I talk all about it. But I think what they probably don’t understand is their own insecurities. Because I never hear complaints from paleo bloggers or paleo experts. Nope, they don’t give a f*ck. Because they have shit to do. They don’t have time to worry about what other people are doing. Or eating. Or instagramming.
No, it’s more of the people who are newbies to paleo and are trying to be paleo perfectionists. We’ve all been there. Being obsessive compulsive about what we ate, telling friends we can’t eat their food because it’s not paleo, telling our family they should switch to paleo. We’ve all been there. But what these newbies don’t understand is THEIR BODY is different than MY BODY. And what I put in MY BODY has absolutely nothing to do with them. Nope. The food I shove in my face changes absolutely nothing in their day. They get pissed, talk sh*t, crap their bed, all for nothing. Because I keep on eating my gluten free cupcakes when I travel and I keep eating my paleo desserts whenever I please. They complain, I eat. They voice their insecurities by putting me on blast, I write. They hate me for making recipes they don’t agree with, I help change people’s lives through meals.
So let’s get something straight you little negative Nancy’s. You’re uncomfortable that I don’t eat strict paleo all of the time? Why is that? Because you do? You little liar. Or is it because I’m honest and share ideas with people who can tolerate certain foods? Wait, is it because I’ve shared over 500 FREE paleo recipes on my blog that fit your strict diet criteria? Or do you think it’s just because you’re jealous that I’ve found something that works for my body and you haven’t? Jealousy really is a son of a b, ain’t it?
But I guess this blog post doesn’t really change much, huh? Insecure people still will hate me because I ate a gluten free muffin. I will keep eating, cooking, and writing. And now, my friends will be happy with my cynical post.
- 2 medium zucchinis, shredded (3 cups, shredded)
- ½ small yellow onion, minced
- 1½ cups almond flour
- 2 eggs, whisked
- 2 garlic cloves, minced
- 1 tablespoon garlic powder
- lots and lots of salt (don't be shy)
- black pepper, to taste
- Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
- Place zucchini and yellow onion in food processor using the shredding attachment and shred. Place in a couple paper towels and squeeze out all the excess liquid. So annoying, but you have to do it!
- Place zucchini and onion in a bowl, mix well with almond flour, egg, garlic cloves, garlic powder, salt and pepper.
- Use an ice cream scoop to scoop out the mixture and place into 7 muffin cups. I used a silicone muffin liners, if you don't, be sure to heavily grease each muffin tin to keep it from sticking.
- Bake for 25-30 minutes.
- Let cool before removing from muffin tin.