I don’t understand something. Why the hell do we go through years of college, spend thousands of dollars and countless nights studying, if they don’t plan to give us any insight into the real world? It makes no effing sense. Never once in college was I told, “Hey, if you’re a business owner of an LLC, you’ll have to pay quarterlies.” Thank the lawd I figured that out early because of my mother. Never once in college was I told, “Hey, credit is bullish*t. You need to pay all of your balances in full, on time, perfectly, and you’ll still be doing something wrong.” Never once in college was I told, “Buying a house is the most stressful thing ever. Understanding all the paperwork will be close to impossible. So good luck!” College taught me the USDA guildelines to diet (which is obviously all bullsh*t), it taught me how to calculate BMI (which is obviously all bullsh*t) and I had a teacher who taught me to never cry at work. I think that one is a good idea, but I work from home so I cry at my work all the time. So her tip was obviously all bullsh*t.

I also had a class that we talked about rotting food. Then we had to smell different kinds of rotting food. Yeah. That course was paid for. Ridiculous.

It’s so frustrating that none of the really important sh*t that we need to understand is ever taught to us. Right now, I’m in the process of closing on my first home. OMGI’MSOFREAKINGEXCITED!!! But being a small business owner, there are about a million hoops to jump through first. I’m continuously getting calls from different people asking for different paperwork with different words I’ve never even used before. I just wish I would have had classes on how to create a website, or be a business owner, or all about credit, or about a mortgage, or how to manage money, or all the damn insurance I need. All these things would have been helpful the day I graduated. Thankfully, most of this I have figured out on my own…because I hire people to help me figure it out. But fuuuuu, I’m still annoyed about my whole college experience.

Except for the partying. That all was awesome.

But let’s get back to the news. We are buying our first house!! I’ve been looking for houses since summer, pretty much all around Denver, but I always had one neighborhood in mind that I REALLY hoped we could find a house in. After months and months and months of looking, I found a house on Redfin that barely had any pictures of it because it was in the process of fixing-and-flipping. But since the house was in the neighborhood we loved so much, I went over there right away. It was hard to visualize the final product because it was being painted and no appliances or anything had been put it yet. But I loved it. So I forced Brian to come see the house with me. He had a harder time visualizing the place. BUT the house was under our budget, it fit all the requirements we had, AND if our offer was accepted early enough, we would be able to pick all of our finishes for the kitchen. Pretty much the house became our blank slate. Never once did I think I would be able to create my own kitchen with my own vision and it was finally possible. So we put down an offer still questioning if it was the right house and it was accepted the next day!! I about died. It all happened so fast. Before we knew it, we were signing paperwork after paperwork, picking out granite, choosing our cabinets, thinking about backsplash. It’s all pretty amazing.

And pretty effing stressful.

After going through this process, I firmly believe they should institute a college course entitled, “How to not have a complete panic attack on the floor of your bathroom while in the process of purchasing your first home”.

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30 Minute Shrimp Asian Stir Fry

5 Stars 4 Stars 3 Stars 2 Stars 1 Star

5 from 7 reviews

  • Yield: 3-4 1x


  • 4 tablespoons butter, ghee or coconut oil (divided)
  • 1 pound shrimp, deveined and peeled
  • 1 cup coconut aminos
  • 1/2 teaspoon fish sauce
  • 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
  • 1 cup sliced button mushrooms
  • 1215 asparagus spears (ends removed), cut into 1 inch pieces
  • salt and pepper, to taste
  • 1 tablespoon sesame seeds


  1. Place a large pan over medium heat. Add 2 tablespoons butter to melt. Once pan is hot, add shrimp to the pan (making sure not to overcrowd) along with a pinch of salt, and cook on both sides for just a couple minutes, until the shrimp turn pink and begin to curl up. Remove from pan and set aside.
  2. In the same pan over medium heat, add coconut aminos, fish sauce and red pepper flakes. Bring to a low boil then reduce heat to thicken the sauce. This will take about 10+ minutes. By the end, the sauce should coat the back of a spoon.
  3. While the sauce is simmering, place another medium-large pan over medium heat. Add mushrooms to pan, making sure not to overcrowd them. Cook on both sides for about 5 minutes, until a nice brown appears.
  4. Lastly, add the asparagus spears to the pan and cook for another 5 minutes.
  5. Once sauce has thickened, pour it on top of the veggies and toss with shrimp and sesame seeds.

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PaleOMG 30 Minute Shrimp Asian Stir Fry



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  1. Anika says:

    I loved college so much I decided to get a masters degree — from a super expensive private university — because I just couldn’t stop learning/partying, so I hear you on the lack of financial preparation it gives you for the real world x2. After my own financial meltdown in 2009, I took a Dave Ramsey class and brought a financial advisor in to speak to the sorority I was advising because NO ONE is teaching this stuff to people!!!

    Good luck on the home purchase! Decorating is SO much fun!!! I can’t wait to try this recipe! Mmmm

  2. Ana says:

    I love your recipes. This one was totally Delish! My whole family loved it!

  3. Deon says:

    I am always a bit skeptical of stir-fry recipes as they can be poorly done quite easily, but this one is really tasty. A few things to note: 1) don’t overcook the asparagus; crunchy is good and 2) when reducing the sauce make sure it doesn’t get too hot or it will have a burnt taste. Overall this is very easy and doesn’t need anything else – it’s great the way it is. Good work Juli!

    (And btw, I’ve bought 2 places in my 34 years on earth and as soon as you move in the stress goes away. There’s really very little difference.)

  4. Karen says:

    This sounds yummy …. and sorry to be dense, but where does the other 2T of oil/butter/ghee come in? Step 3? Or are we cooking shrimp in two batches? Yeah…I’m a true novice…

    Congrats on the house!

    1. juli says:

      Step 3! I’ll fix that!

  5. Linda Mackay says:

    Hi Juli luv the site,was just wondering what the coconut aminos is that you use as I have never heard if it here in Australia soo enjoying cooking the recipies.

    1. juli says:

      This is the brand I use here (http://www.amazon.com/Coconut-Secret-Original-Soy-Free-Seasoning/dp/B00LWQLCJ4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1436157888&sr=8-1&keywords=coconut+aminos). I did a quick search “where to buy coconut aminos in australia” and a few options came up. I didn’t want to direct link since I’m not familiar with those sites, but you should hopefully be able to find it from a trusted source. If not you could use gluten free soy sauce or tamari if you tolerate those.

  6. Robert says:

    Looks great! Can’t wait to try this.

  7. Nathalie says:

    This was a winner for dinner! My daughter had two servings, thanks Juli!!!

  8. Luciana says:

    I don’t regularly comment. I save these for when I think a meal is so amazing I can convince my non-Paleo husband and son to love it. They were willing to have this over their regular Chinese takeout. #Win

    1. juli says:

      awesome!! that’s so great!

  9. Liz says:

    Juli- I don’t know what happened but the recipe failed miserably. I used Braggs liquid aminos and the recipe was so terribly salty, I feel poisoned! It would reduce to coat a spoon either, causing even more problems for my perfectly stir fried asperagus, mushrooms and shrimp. ???? Did you really mean 1cup?? I even made a beautiful cauli-rice to serve with it but I can’t even fathom trying to recover what remains in my fridge as the dreaded leftovers…..

    1. juli says:

      yeah you can’t substitute coconut aminos for liquid aminos, they don’t taste they same and it is far more salty