Apple Pie Smoothie

I miss my dog. Like, bad. Working in Pittsburgh is probably one of the best experiences I’ve ever been through, but being away from my little man is tough. Mostly because I miss his cuddles. Having a cuddly dog is the absolute best. Having a man to cuddle is pretty fantastic but a dog, now that’s just the best. When I get back, I am going to try to spend the entire day just snuggling. And eating gluten free pizza. Yeah, for sure.

Sooooo how is everyone feeling about this whole ebola thing? I feel like my brain wouldn’t be thinking about is as much if it weren’t for Facebook. Facebook is the worst. Like for real, the worst. Back to my point, are you freaking out? I don’t freak out about those kind of things, I usually freak out about a deadline or not drinking enough water. But a virus that I cannot control? Come on now. I have quite a few flights to take in the next few months, ain’t nobody got time for that kind of stress. I still sometimes want to wear a mask while flying though, but that’s mostly because people on flights are disgusting, not because they have ebola. Just my thoughts about ebola. Thank you for letting me voice them. The media is really intense right now.

Speaking of intense, I’ve been making 5 recipes per day lately. That sh*t is intense. Not like a horror house where you have to sign a waiver for them to pour fake blood on you and stuff weird things in your mouth while your head is locked in a chamber kind of intense because that would just be the worst thing ever, but intense enough that I can call it intense. Did you get just as lost as I did there? Let me explain shortly. There are for real haunted houses that you have to sign a waiver to be in the house for 4-7 hours and they can do whatever they want to you. That’s f*cked up. That is one thing I absolutely never want to experience. The last time I went to a haunted house, probably when I was 16, I peed myself. Straight up. Fear is not my thing. But food on the other hand, I’m into that sort of thing. Wanna hear some of the things I’ve made? Okgood. Fish tacos, short rib tostadas, lamb chops, maple bacon pork loin, shamrock shake, moo shu pork, and little baby pancakes. I’m seriously so excited about this project that cooking 5 meals a day has actually been really enjoyable. It’s pretty rad. I can’t wait to be able to tell you about the project! Someday sooooooon.

I’ve decided that I want to get my makeup professionally done every single day. Fact is, I look way better with makeup. I wish I was one of those people that looked at least decent without makeup on, but that’s just not the case. Even without acne taking over my face, I still look like a hot mess. My Fashion Friday this week is going to be way more fun because I have 4 feet of eyelashes on. I see why everyone is getting eyelash extensions right now, which in turn make your eyelashes fall out and make your life sad, but are totally worth it for the few months! I want them but I like my real eye lashes so 4 feet of fake ones will have to do. Gosh I love me some Fashion Fridays, even if someone called me hideous in an outfit, YOU CAN’T TAKE AWAY MY LOVE FOR IT. I feel like that’s in a Selena song for sure. Maybe in Spanish. But either way, she sang it. I just know it. I don’t even know what just happened in my last sentence. I got sh*t to cook, braaaaah. Back off!


Apple Pie Smoothie

  • Yield: 1 1x


  • 1 frozen banana, roughly chopped
  • 1/2 apple (whatever apple you want), roughly chopped
  • 1 cup almond milk
  • 1/2 cup apple cider
  • 1 tablespoon maple syrup
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon


  1. Place all ingredients in a blender.
  2. Blender until smooth.
  3. Drink.

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PaleOMG Apple Pie Smoothie

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Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.

I’m a food hoarder. And a really bad dancer. If you don’t know me well, you will probably not understand my humor. Therefore, I apologize ahead of time. Thanks for listening to my ramblings of my ever-changing life and trusting my kitchen mishaps. Your trust in me is appreciated.


26 thoughts on “Apple Pie Smoothie”

  1. The media hype makes me feel like I SHOULD be freaking out about Ebola but honestly I have so much more happening right in front of me to freak out about. I can’t believe you’re banging out 5 recipes a day, that would drive me nuts! And the cleaning! Especially if you’re using a food processor for some. This on the other hand looks so delicious and simple so thanks for the idea 🙂

  2. WoW!! I think I laughed the whole way through reading this. Thank you I needed it. I am one that is trying not to freak out about ebola but it has official gotten to close for comfort as I live in Cleveland. The recipe looks devine and wish I could make it now, but my kids are enjoying the last 2 apples I have!!! Maybe they will leave enough apple with the core so I can make it??? hmmm … yup I finish what they don’t:) Have a great day! and thanks for all your wonderful recipes and your humor it shines through in your blog. LOVE IT!

  3. I didn’t know Ebola was a thing until recently. I don’t watch the news and I just deleted my Facebook app from my phone, so now I believe in am as disconnected I can get from the world without joining a hippie commune in Humbold County.

    I want a puppy. Instead I’m getting a baby in about 5 weeks. Baby cuddles are pretty bomb-tastic too, but they come with more poop.

  4. Okay, that horror house scene you just described seriously creep’d me the f out. People are crazy! For someone that gets scared at a Halloween store like myself, that would be my absolute worst nightmare. No thanks. So, moving onto more positive things – like Ebola. :/ I’m not ordering masks in bulk just yet and turning my house into some sort of quarantine, but yeah that’s some scary sh**.

  5. Not scared about it one bit! I’m more afraid of cancer or other terminal illnesses than Ebola. I’ll just keep exercising and eating clean (majority of the time).

    I also have to say I think most women look better without makeup. Thankful I don’t wear it and have never gotten into it. Deodorant, face moisturizer, perfume, lotion, lip balm, brush my hair and teeth and I’m out the door. I think a lot of women can’t see their true beauty without makeup because they’ve worn it for so long. To each their own, but I’m a makeup-free advocate and encourage others to relish their natural beauty!

  6. I am SOOO excited that you’re working on a new project! I’ve almost cooked my way through The Paleo Kitchen and am obsessed with every recipe in it. And right now, as I type, I’m making your pork stuffed apples and ooey gooey chocolate chip pumpkin bars. The apples are cooling and the bars are in the oven. And I can’t wait to make these shakes. If anyone is more excited than me about your new project, it’s probably my fiancé…you’re blog is the best thing that has happened to my cooking. ever. Talk about intense…this was a super fan post, but just wanted to let you know that you’re awesome! Good luck with the new project!!

  7. When you talk about Ebola and flying….I recenty saw a meme on Facebook that made me think of you!!! It was a picture of a passenger on a plane that was totally encased in a clear plastic bag with a big knot on top….caption “Not today Ebola….not today”. God! I laughed at that and thought that would be something you would totally say!! Ok, carry on……

  8. I live in Royse City, East of Dallas, where they closed the two elementary schools down for cleaning. I’m usually a very rational person and I’m going to stay that way. I do have three little kids though and it’s way too close to home!

  9. Yum, this looks so delicious (and most importantly easy)! I’m adding some protein powder and thinking this will be my dinner tonight!

  10. I love your recipes but I think I might love your humor even more. Yesterday when I was feeling ugh and sad I read your post and it made me smile and laugh. Just what I needed. Thanks for being funny and telling it like it is instead of saying what you might think everyone wants to hear.

    And can you imagine how pathetic someone’s life must be to go around leaving negative comments on blogs and social media? Poor sad little things.

  11. Ugh, I hate leaving my dog! I hate leaving my husband, too, but at least he knows where I’m going and when I’ll be back. The dog just has no idea.

    However, welcome home snuggles from a thoroughly surprised dog are the absolute best! 🙂

  12. oh heck yes! I think you just saved me from needing dessert, because I would rather have this. And, that goes for the hubs too. Okay, I was laughing out loud several times on this one. You help me feel free to let my blogging voice shine. THANK YOU. I need it. You make the world a better place, my friend. AWww. lol. Happy weekend.

  13. I went to make this today then realized I had completely forgotten to buy apple cider. It turned out not to be an issue because it still ended up being delicious!

  14. Love the flavours! I tend to freak out about things actually happening in my life too, and what with making 5 recipes a day I can’t see how you would even have the time to worry about Ebola too! Also, your photography in this post is amazing!

  15. This smoothie was fabulous! I substituted King Arthur Boiled Cider for the maple syrup, and it really took the apple flavor over the top. Thanks!

  16. This smoothie looks amazing! I can’t wait to try it.

    Ebola doesn’t scare me one bit. It’s a tropical disease and less than 1% of the population over in West Africa has contracted it and mostly it is because people are taking care of their relatives who have it in their own homes without proper protocol. If anything, just make sure you wash your hands more and you’ll be fine. Oh, and cover any open wounds you have so that if you touch a public space, you won’t get anyone else’s germs inside you but that’s pretty much common sense anyways. Ebola is NOT airborne and it would be extremely unexpected and almost impossible for it to mutate that way. If it did mutate to airborne, the fatality of it would dramatically decrease. Between the media and facebook, I can see why you’re worried though. Those things love, love, love to spread fear which is why I try to stay away from them.

    Just cuddle with your boys when you get back home and all worries will melt away 😉

  17. Forgot to put this in my last comment….

    I just read on homesteadsurvival dot com that adding 1 drop of lavender or tea tree essential oil to your mascara can help you grow thicker, longer eyelashes. This is because there are mites in the roots of our eyelashes and the essential oils kill them allowing your lashes to grow better. Crazy stuff! A lot of people say it works for them. This is my first week trying it and it’s supposed to take a few weeks to notice a difference.

    This goes without saying (hopefully…), but anyone reading this comment and trying this out should never put essential oils into your eye directly.

  18. Jessica Sapington

    Dude, your posts crack me up. Finally, theres someone on this earth who talks as crazily as I do. Hells to the yeah, betch. Keep ’em comin!

  19. Hi! Thank you for this site. I am new to Paleo and very excited about it. Question, I thought fruit was a no no on this way of eating? Also, I do eyelash extensions and if you are ever in my neighborhood, North Idaho, come see me. Your lashes will not fall out when done correctly 🙂

    1. no, that’s not the case at all. if your goal is weight loss, the less sugar- the better. that includes fruit. fruit is high in sugar, which spikes your insulin which can lead to weight gain. however, it is fine to have fruit on paleo in moderation just like any other sweet

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