Aruba & Travel Pet Peeves – Episode 88: PaleOMG Uncensored

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Today on the podcast, my sister-in-law and I are talking about our recent trip to Aruba, our hard time getting back home, and our travel pet peeves. Plus we have a quick bachelorette recap since this season is goooooood.

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Big thank you to this week’s sponsors!

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Episode 88 Transcription!

This episode of PaleOMG Uncensored is brought to you by Aaptiv. Adaptive produces audio-based workouts created by certified personal trainers available through a mobile app. New members get 30% off an annual membership. Visit Aaptiv.com/PaleOMG.

This is Juli Bauer from PaleOMG and you are listening to PaleOMG Uncensored.

Juli Bauer: Ok! We’re going. I want to talk about Bachelor first.

Carra Roth: Ok, I might not have much to contribute on this.

Juli Bauer: That’s fine. You might remember some stuff. So welcome to another episode of PaleOMG Uncensored. I was listening to Rose Pricks podcast on the way to the house today, because they’re the best Bachelor podcast ever. I hate ever other podcast that’s serious. What is that one? There’s one that’s one of the most popular Bachelor podcasts, and it’s so serious. I was like; are these b*tches for real?

Carra Roth: I don’t know what that is. But Rose Pricks is the best. I want to be friends with Ronnie.

Juli Bauer: The best. Oh my god, his laugh is so addicting! It’s so freaking good. Ok, so I’m going to pull up my blog because I did a recap on there. Because Carra and I watched the Bachelorette, second episode, barely the other day.

Carra Roth: Yeah, we were both doing other stuff while watching it.

Juli Bauer: And, we were coming off of not getting much sleep.

Carra Roth: Jet lag as f*ck.

Juli Bauer: Can you jet lag off of two hours ahead of time?

Carra Roth: Yeah. We were traveling for 24 hours straight, and we slept maybe 2 hours of that.

Juli Bauer: And it was longer than 2 hours, because remember we came back 2 hours.

Carra Roth: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: So it was longer than 24 hours.

Carra Roth: It was terrible. We were zombies, and shells of ourselves.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. So watching the Bachelorette. I had to watch it twice so I could do a recap on my blog. So, ok. Let’s do a quick recap. The episode starts off with a; dammit Jackson! The episode starts off with an obstacle course, because the Bachelor loves obstacle courses. And Lincoln, the Nigerian prince, who has a female voice. It’s not just his accent, he has a female voice.

Carra Roth: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Oh, oye. {laughing} I can’t.

Carra Roth: Keep going!

Juli Bauer: No, I’m doing the accent from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. {laughing} So, ok. Lincoln wins the obstacle course, because he cheats. So he’s obviously a real standup guy.

Carra Roth: How did he cheat? I remember the obstacle course, and I hate these dates. They’re terrible. So I just didn’t even care about it.

Juli Bauer: They had to sit in an ice bucket, so they had to flip one of those things that the sand drops through; an hourglass.

Carra Roth: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: They all got in it at the same time, and then he got out earlier. So he just cheated. And then at the end, he cheated too. You’re supposed to find something in a cake with your mouth, and he used his hands to dig through. So he’s just really good at cheating. So he’s a real standup guy. You can trust him in anything.

So he wins. And then he gets to take a picture, like he just got married to Bekah. And then, this is what he says. “Kissing Bekah is like flying to the moon on the wings of a Pegasus while dancing with unicorns on a pot of gold.” I’m not joking, and went back and rewinded and got that word for f*cking word.

Carra Roth: {laughs} I feel like that’s how every guy would explain a kiss with me.

Juli Bauer: {laughing} So true. People have. They’ve told me that. Jackson!

Carra Roth: Magical.

Juli Bauer: Look, he just pushes the door open. Like; are you guys coming outside? Nope, ok I’ll sit here. Let the flies in. I saw flies; like I was running at the gym today, and there was a big old massive piece of poop.

Carra Roth: Why?

Juli Bauer: I don’t know.

Carra Roth: Like human poop?

Juli Bauer: That’s the thing. Whenever I’m in the alley of the gym, I never know if it’s human poop.

Carra Roth: Oh, yeah.

Juli Bauer: Because we’re downtown.

Carra Roth: Right.

Juli Bauer: So you never know if it’s human poop or dog poop.

Carra Roth: Very likely that it was human feces.

Juli Bauer: That’s what I say. And I said that to somebody; and they’re like, how do you know it’s human? Can you tell the difference between dog and human? I’m like; I mean, I’ve just seen a lot of dumps in alleyways and they’re usually human.

Carra Roth: They’re all human.

Juli Bauer: I’ve seen a guy taking a dump in an alleyway of Denver. Whatever. Hi Jackson! That’s a really great spot. Cool. Ok. So, Lincoln’s the worst. And Bekah really likes it. It’s awful. But he looks really good with his shirt off.

Carra Roth: Yeah, he’s jacked.

Juli Bauer: Jacked. He looks awesome. But I don’t care. A big fight ensues, because some guy; I think it’s Garrett.

Carra Roth: The tattle-tell?

Juli Bauer: Yes. Oh I don’t know. I think there are multiple tattle-tells. But Garrett, who has come out in the news, people have stalked him and looked into it. He has liked all these things over the internet that are super racists and f*cked up things. So, Jackson is sniffing the microphone so I hope you guys can hear that. So he’s not a standup guy. He’s like whatever that guy’s face was who was the racist on Rachel’s season.

Carra Roth: I forget.

Juli Bauer: Oh my god. I have so much dirt to tell you, I can’t wait. So, that guy Garrett throws the photo of Bekah and Lincoln. Throws it. And I’m pretty sure the producers edited huge crashing sounds in. It was like; ok, producers. Come on.

Carra Roth: Yeah, it fell into the pool or something.

Juli Bauer: Yes. And it sounded like it shattered into a million pieces. It’s like; we know what you’re doing, producers. And Bekah is like; have you acted like this before? Do you have an anger issue? And he’s like; no, this is nothing I’ve ever done before. I’ve never reacted over the top about a single photo. But, ok. She things Garrett is bad; Lincoln cries because he threw the photo.

Carra Roth: {laughs} Oh no!

Juli Bauer: So he says the photo is broken, so my heart is broken.

Carra Roth: Oh man, he’s deep.

Juli Bauer: He’s the worst.

Carra Roth: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: He’s crying. Oh my god, I hate him so much.

Carra Roth: I can’t believe I missed all of this. None of this sounds familiar. I do remember him throwing the picture. But I didn’t know he started crying.

Juli Bauer: Oh, he cried. To like three other dudes. Oh my god, with his high pitched baby voice.

Carra Roth: He’s so sensitive.

Juli Bauer: Oh, my heart is broken because… dammit. I wish I was good at accents. It’s good on Rose Pricks, they start doing his accent, but it starts turning into an Irish accent.

Carra Roth: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: Ok. So then Bekah goes on a date with Blake. And Blake is my favorite.

Carra Roth: Oh he’s the one you like.

Juli Bauer: Yes. Blake is from Bailey, but I’m pretty sure he lives in Denver. Because; you want to know why?

Carra Roth: Why.

Juli Bauer: You know Maddie?

Carra Roth: Yeah!

Juli Bauer: My friend Maddie; she goes to Orange Theory with him.

Carra Roth: No way!

Juli Bauer: Yeah, she texted me yesterday and said she just worked out in class with him. And he’s sups hot. He drives a black Jeep with a soft top.

Carra Roth: Like a Wrangler?

Juli Bauer: I don’t know.

Carra Roth: Ok.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, I think those are all Wranglers, right? I have no idea. It’s a Jeep thing. I wouldn’t understand.

Carra Roth: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Literally. So she said he’s super hot and then; Jackson. Everybody was asking him about; ok, stop that. About the Bachelor. He was like; yeah, it’s crazy that I got all these thousands of new followers. So I’m thinking about starting Orange Theory again.

Carra Roth: {laughs} Just because of him?

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Carra Roth: Ok.

Juli Bauer: So I don’t care. They go on some stupid date where {yelling}.

Carra Roth: It’s just them two; yeah.

Juli Bauer: They’re in a warehouse and they’re destroying stuff of Ari and his memory. It’s like a fish tank; why was there a fish tank?

Carra Roth: I’m not sure.

Juli Bauer: He probably had one in his house.

Carra Roth: But I remember that they had the exact couch that he broke up with her on.

Juli Bauer: Yes. And his race car champagne.

Carra Roth: I hate that it’s all about Ari this season.

Juli Bauer: It’s the worst.

Carra Roth: Like, no one wants to have their ex incorporated in trying to date someone new.

Juli Bauer: No.

Carra Roth: That’s the worst. Constantly having your ex be brought up.

Juli Bauer: The worst.

Carra Roth: That’s terrible.

Juli Bauer: It sucks. And does she like that piece of it, or is it all producers? It’s probably all producers, because it always is.

Carra Roth: That sucks for her.

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Carra Roth: To constantly be reminded that you got f*cked over.

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Carra Roth: But you dodged a huge bullet, so congrats.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. He has lip stain on for sure, and bronzer. But only down to his neck. I’m sorry if it’s a skin condition; I apologize. Blake tells this story about how he creeped on his girlfriend at the time, on her phone. And it was like; have broken up with him yet? By the way your nails look great.

Carra Roth: Oh hey thanks.

Juli Bauer: Congrats. They were sketch for quite some time. {laughs} So he was like; yeah, I creeped on her phone, and it said, “Have you broken up with him yet.”

Carra Roth: Yeah I remember that. Ok. Because he was love.

Juli Bauer: So it was sad panda.

Carra Roth: Because he was; he fell hard.

Juli Bauer: Hard and fast.

Carra Roth: Yeah. And then he creeped on her phone. I did that too, and that ended my last relationship.

Juli Bauer: {laughs} Maybe we should talk about that some day on here. Because at one point, I talked about someone cheating on my friend on a podcast, and how much I hated him, and how I gave him chocolate.

Carra Roth: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: And I will never get that chocolate back. That motherf*cker. But I never said my sister-in-law. So if you guys listen to that podcast, it was my poor sister-in-law.

Carra Roth: It was me.

Juli Bauer: She saw sh*t on his phone. F*ck that guy.

Carra Roth: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: I want to take a dump in his alleyway.

Carra Roth: Human feces.

Juli Bauer: Human feces. And he walks out to walks his dog. And steps in it.

Carra Roth: Steps in it. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Not the dog though.

Carra Roth: No not the dog.

Juli Bauer: God bless that dog. So anyway. Moving on past that f*ck. So then we have another group date, and it’s time for dodge ball. Trampoline dodge ball.

Carra Roth: Terrible. There is so much sports involved; I would be a terrible Bachelorette.

Juli Bauer: It would be the worst. But she was wearing my white crop top.

Carra Roth: With the aluminum foil shorts she was wearing.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. And they were not flattering, either. She’s like 4 pounds, and they were not flattering. Nobody should wear them.

Carra Roth: But you have that tank?

Juli Bauer: Yeah, I wore it in Aruba when you wouldn’t workout with me.

Carra Roth: Oh. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: {laughs} So you wouldn’t know about it.

Carra Roth: Yeah, I didn’t see it. {laughing}

Juli Bauer: So then on the group date, on the dodgeball date. Leo; I think his name is Leo. He’s the one with the hair. The long, curly hair.

Carra Roth: The stunt guy? He’s a stunt man.

Juli Bauer: Yes. Stunt man guy. I found out right as I was turning onto our street, from Rose Pricks, that he was in soft porn.

Carra Roth: No way!

Juli Bauer: And it had a 2-star rating! {laughs} But what’s soft porn?

Carra Roth: Yeah, I was just going to ask you. What’s soft porn.

Juli Bauer: Is that like what I watch on TV all the time?

Carra Roth: Probably I guess. Yeah.

Juli Bauer: And any episode of Californication.

Carra Roth: Right. So if he’s a stunt; I mean, wouldn’t that just be a stunt guy for a TV show?

Juli Bauer: I don’t know. He’s got his stunt wiener.

Carra Roth: Yeah. Stunt wiener.

Juli Bauer: Who knows. So on this date, Colton. He’s the crushed velvet vest guy, football player. Loves to talk about how he gives back. {laughs} He told Bekah that he hooked up with Tia.

Carra Roth: Yes! Ok, yes.

Juli Bauer: Do you remember that. So then he’s also dated Ally Raceman, the gymnast.

Carra Roth: Right, you told me that.

Juli Bauer: And she talked about him in her book, that he’s not that great a guy. This is all what I’ve probably heard from Rose Pricks, so take it with a grain of salt.

Carra Roth: And this is the guy who claims he’s’ still a virgin?

Juli Bauer: Yes, later on.

Carra Roth: An ex-football player that’s still a virgin.

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Carra Roth: Ok.

Juli Bauer: Don’t believe it. Don’t believe it for a minute. The tip counts.

Carra Roth: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: And so she’s like; I don’t know if I can get over that. But you’re super hot, so I’m going to keep you.

Carra Roth: Ok.

Juli Bauer: Duh. He’s real easy on the eyes.

Carra Roth: Yeah. She was really shooken up about that. That whole Tia thing.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Which makes me think about this; just because of you and me. I was talking to my cleaning ladies today, and they’re just the best. I was like; she asked how long me and Brian have been married. And I’m like; are you married? And she’s like yeah. Oh, no. I’ve been divorced for 6 years.

Carra Roth: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: She’s like; I can’t believe I said yes. And she’s like; that’s actually, she’s pointing the other cleaning lady, and she’s like that’s my ex-husband’s sister.

Carra Roth: Oh.

Juli Bauer: And they’re still best friends and work together. So if Brian and I ever divorce.

Carra Roth: Don’t say that.

Juli Bauer: It will never happen. We’re perfect.

Carra Roth: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: But there’s hope for our friendship. Because that’s one of the main reasons we can’t get divorced.

Carra Roth: Right. Yeah.

Juli Bauer: It’s our contract.

Carra Roth: I told you in one of the last podcasts that I told him I choose you over him, so.

Juli Bauer: OK, that’s fair. Then we’re good to go no matter what.

Carra Roth: I’m just going to lose a brother.

Juli Bauer: That’s fair.

Carra Roth: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Ok, so the episode ends with the rose ceremony. And Jordan, the male model, decides to take all his clothes off. Did you see this part?

Carra Roth: Yes.

Juli Bauer: And he’s just in his boxers, and he does not have a good body.

Carra Roth: With socks and dress shoes.

Juli Bauer: Yes!

Carra Roth: He doesn’t have a good body? I guess I wasn’t paying attention.

Juli Bauer: No.

Carra Roth: Is that why he was covered in a blanket?

Juli Bauer: He’s just a soft little panda.

Carra Roth: How is he a model with?

Juli Bauer: Because he just squints his face a lot.

Carra Roth: Ok.

Juli Bauer: And he parts his hairline like Trump.

Carra Roth: He’s not a shirtless model?

Juli Bauer: No.

Carra Roth: OK.

Juli Bauer: He’s not rocking the shirtless. He was well trimmed. He wasn’t waxed.

Carra Roth: Groomed?

Juli Bauer: Yeah, he was groomed. But he has dad bod, for sure. So he takes his clothes off, and he says that he wants to prove to Bekah that he’s multidimensional.

Carra Roth: {laughing} That makes perfect sense.

Juli Bauer: It makes perfect sense.

Carra Roth: I get it.

Juli Bauer: Mm-hmm. And then at one point, he says ingenuinity. Do you remember when he was saying that?

Carra Roth: Yes, yes!

Juli Bauer: Ingenuinity.

Carra Roth: And then; ok, so the guy he was talking to said the word wrong, and then this guy corrected him.

Juli Bauer: With the wrong word.

Carra Roth: With the wrong word.

Juli Bauer: And so they just kept going back and forth.

Carra Roth: Isn’t the word disingenuine?

Juli Bauer: I don’t know.

Carra Roth: But whatever they were saying, they both corrected each other and they were both wrong.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Disingenuine is genuine; disingenuine. Now I’m Jordan.

Carra Roth: {laughs} Well it’s not disingenuity or whatever.

Juli Bauer: No! That’s not a word.

Carra Roth: Ingenue; whatever you said. It’s not that.

Juli Bauer: Ingenuity.

Carra Roth: Yeah. And he said it with such conviction.

Juli Bauer: Yes.

Carra Roth: But you’re like; you’re an idiot.

Juli Bauer: I mean, it’s just how he’s talked himself into thinking he’s a male model.

Carra Roth: Yeah, that’s true. I wonder what he really does.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, me too. Have you stalked him on Instagram?

Carra Roth: I haven’t.

Juli Bauer: We should stalk him. I can’t wait to read what people’s comments are about him. Ok, who gets the boot? Alex. Some guy named Alex, and he cries.

Carra Roth: Ok, I remember him crying.

Juli Bauer: He’s like trying to hold it in.

Carra Roth: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: It was so sad.

Carra Roth: What did he say, though, that he was crying? That he wanted love? What was his parting exit?

Juli Bauer: Everybody’s line; I’m probably unlovable. I just want to find love. It’s like; ok, don’t we all?

Carra Roth: But it’s like, he’s been on the show at this point, what? Three days.

Juli Bauer: Three days. But, they get them drunk and they hold them until 3 in the morning and it’s like; you and I stuck in Miami. I would have f*cking cried and said I want love, and I’m married! I would have said anything. Just get me in the car so I can leave. And you know they just hold you forever. Like an hour of asking you the question over and over until you just break down. They f*ck with you on that show. Anyway.

Carra Roth: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: That’s how it ends.

Carra Roth: We have a good resource. We should have him on and ask him all the questions about the inside scoop.

Juli Bauer: Yes! That’s a good idea. We have a male human being that we know who was on the Bachelor. He only lasted the first night, right? Or did he last longer?

Carra Roth: I’m not sure. He made it through the first night. But I don’t know how far after that. I think maybe that was as far as he went.

Juli Bauer: I want to watch that back again.

Carra Roth: But he could at least tell us what the exit interviews are like, and if he cried.

Juli Bauer: OK. We need to have him on. I think he would love to be on.

Carra Roth: I do too. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: He likes being the center of attention, for sure. He would thrive in this network.

Ok, so let’s talk about Aruba.

Carra Roth: Yes!

Juli Bauer: Aruba, Aruba. It was the best.

Carra Roth: It was so amazing.

Juli Bauer: So, this trip came up last minute. The PR company for the Marriott that we stayed at, they contacted me about coming out to do promotion for a race that they were holding called the KLM marathon. It was the first time they were holding it.

Carra Roth: Is that an organization? KLM?

Juli Bauer: I have no idea. I should know this. I need to look it up. Sh*t. Thanks Carra for throwing me under the bus on my own podcast. This is just your podcast now!

So, I tell Carra about this. And I want her to come. And I was like; I’m going to sign us up for the 5K. Because they have a 5K, 10K, half marathon, full marathon. And she was like; what?! I have to run a 5K? I can’t do that. I’m like; yes you can. It will be fine. And it really was fine.

Carra Roth: It was fine. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Carra was in a little coffee distress. But we made it through.

Carra Roth: {laughs} Yeah. We didn’t eat breakfast and just had coffee. So, bubble guts the whole time.

Juli Bauer: I felt alive. Yeah, Carra was not having the most fun and I was singing to Post Malone as I ran by.

Carra Roth: Like Hussein Bolt over here. Whatever; I’m dying, and Juli is just galloping like; how you doing? {laughs}

Juli Bauer: {laughs}

Carra Roth: She’s not even sweating and I’m head to toe drenched. You can see through my shirt.

Juli Bauer: Ok, wait, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. We haven’t even got to Aruba yet. Let’s first talk about how we got to Aruba. We took a red eye out to Charlotte. And I took probably a third of a Xanax. So I passed out right away. And then; I hope you guys can hear this dog just being a complete psycho the whole time. {bark} {laughs}

So, we go to Charlotte, and I’m hopped up on Xanax.

Carra Roth: We had a 5-hour layover in Charlotte.

Juli Bauer: And it was only 3 hours to get to Charlotte. Not enough time for a third of a Xanax.

Carra Roth: And Juli is so high. And drunk off Xanax. It is hilarious. I wish I would have filmed it. I texted Brian; I was like, Juli is high on Xanax right now and it is awesome.

Juli Bauer: {laughs} It’s like, I remember all these bits and pieces of it. And don’t remember eating breakfast that much, but I instagrammed about it.

Carra Roth: Yep.

Juli Bauer: I should not have my phone at these points in my life.

Carra Roth: You loved everybody. You were like; I love our waitress so much! I love her.

Juli Bauer: That’s hilarious. I can’t even picture her.

Carra Roth: {laughs} You loved her so much.

Juli Bauer: God. And then, so we have a 5-hour layover. So we have breakfast, and it’s like; what do we do with the next four hours? So we just went and sat down, right? The airport was 1 degree. It was so cold. I think I had shorts on. No, I put pants on.

Carra Roth: We had pants on.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, I put jeans on. And so I’m curling up in a ball.

Carra Roth: It was so cold. We had scarves and jackets on and it was still.

Juli Bauer: So cold.

Carra Roth: Yeah, we had to go buy a blanket.

Juli Bauer: So I’m curled in a ball on the chair, and I remember being like; buy me a blanket. Carra bought me a blanket. So we have a blanket. You’ll need this information for later on. We have a blanket with us. So we hang out. I sleep, I’m sure.

Carra Roth: We watch Parks and Rec for hours.

Juli Bauer: Oh yeah. Parks and Rec and Office were saviors this trip. So then we fly to Aruba. And it turns out Aruba is perfect. All our taxi drivers speak 5 different languages. I hate America; we’re the worst that we only know one language. It’s so weird. And it’s a Dutch island, so they have people in Holland have visas both places. So a ton of Dutch people. All these super cute, blonde, young, tan as f*ck people.

Carra Roth: There were a ton of Venezuelans. Because that’s, I think, the closest big country. So it was only like 15 miles, so there were a lot of people who come over from Venezuela. Because Venezuela is not doing great right now. But yeah, it’s a Dutch island.

Juli Bauer: It’s so cute.

Carra Roth: Everyone speaks English.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, everybody speaks English, or whatever language you speak honestly. So we heard all kinds of different languages. But everyone was speaking English most of the time. We stayed at the Marriott, obviously. We had an ocean view room. The first night we get there, we didn’t get there until like 5. So we went and had dinner right away, and then had cocktails, and got a good buzz going on. And did we watch the Notebook that night?

Carra Roth: Was it that night? It might have been that night.

Juli Bauer: Maybe.

Carra Roth: Because I think the next night was the Bella girls, right?

Juli Bauer: Oh yeah. Total Divas. I don’t know.

Carra Roth: Anyway.

Juli Bauer: So we watch the Notebook. We get buzzed and then watch the Notebook together. But that’s pretty much how every night ended. So the next day we have yoga on paddleboards. Our instructor is a crossfitter, so I instantly love her. She’s jacked as f*ck. She has 47 hours. Jacked legs, arms, you know, the whole shebang. With competitive crossfitters. And she’s like; oh yeah, I’m running the half marathon tomorrow. And she got third in it.

Carra Roth: Yeah. Like overall, third.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Ok. You’re just good at everything. She’s just super good. So we did yoga on paddleboards; what did you think of that?

Carra Roth: It was amazing.

Juli Bauer: That was more your speed, than the running?

Carra Roth: {laughing} Totally.

Juli Bauer: That’s fair.

Carra Roth: Stand up paddleboard; or paddleboard yoga is way better than regular yoga. You’re in the ocean.

Juli Bauer: Crystal clear blue waters.

Carra Roth: Yeah. It was amazing.

Juli Bauer: I loved it.

Carra Roth: And it wasn’t hard.

Juli Bauer: No it wasn’t hard. The hardest thing we did was those hollow rocks, where she made us hold for 45 seconds. And that was it.

Carra Roth: Yeah. Is hollow rock a boat pose?

Juli Bauer: Yes. She was making us do boat where you’re sitting up more, and then hollow, you’d go back.

Carra Roth: Oh yeah.

Juli Bauer: Those were f*cking hard. That made me feel like a p*ssy ass b*tch.

Carra Roth: {laughs} Yeah. But the rest of it was easy, it was just trying to stabilize on your board. Which is a good core workout. But it was awesome.

Juli Bauer: So fun. Loved her. Then we had a cooking class.

Carra Roth: The owner of that place was a Bella. She was awesome too. She was so sweet.

Juli Bauer: Yes Bella Surf, or Bella SUP.

Carra Roth: It was like a little shop right by the Marriott. And she was so sweet. She was tiny and pregnant and so cute.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, she was this little white woman with a huge belly and sunscreen. Like, white sunscreen.

Carra Roth: Like white face. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: White face completely whiteout sunscreen all over her face. Even on her belly, I think she had it.

Carra Roth: I don’t know.

Juli Bauer: She was real cute.

Carra Roth: She was so cute.

Juli Bauer: I went and creeped on her Instagram.

Carra Roth: She saw us running, she was cheering us on while we were running.

Juli Bauer: Ladies!

Carra Roth: Yeah!

Juli Bauer: She has her little Holland accent.

Carra Roth: Yeah. She was cute.

Juli Bauer: Dutch accent. She was adorbs. Then we had a cooking class with the executive chef of the Marriott.

Carra Roth: Sous chef, right?

Juli Bauer: Executive; yes. Executive sous chef. And he was adorable.

Carra Roth: Yeah, he was so cute.

Juli Bauer: His name was like Everday Pena.

Carra Roth: Yeah, I think that’s right. Ever was his first name, right?

Juli Bauer: I don’t know if it’s an entire name. I don’t know. I know one f*cking language, I don’t know sh*t. So he was really cute. He made us salmon on top of quinoa with gooseberries, I believe.

Carra Roth: But it was pecan crusted, right?

Juli Bauer: Yes. It was so good. And Carra doesn’t even like salmon, and you ate half of it.

Carra Roth: It was so good. I don’t know what was different, because I’ve tried your salmon before. I try salmon. It’s not like I’m just like; no, I don’t like it. I want to like it. I just don’t.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, you try hard.

Carra Roth: And I’ve tried yours, and I couldn’t get behind it. So I don’t know what is different. But it didn’t taste like salmon.

Juli Bauer: Well this was sushi grade salmon. So it’s just a little bit different than the salmon filets that we get. So maybe I’ll just get sushi grade salmon every day. I’m going over to f*cking Izakaya Den. I’m like; can I buy? They have that at Whole Foods.

Carra Roth: I don’t know if that was the difference, but it was so good. Or if it was just…

Juli Bauer: The pecan crusted. It had so many flavors.

Carra Roth: It wasn’t fishy. I still think regular salmon is too fishy for me. But this one wasn’t fishy at all. That’s why I liked it.

Juli Bauer: It was like butter. And it was topped with a dried grapefruit powder. They had dried out grapefruit and topped it; kind of like peanut butter powder that I’m super into right now. Loving it. So that was really fun. And it wasn’t like super long. It was probably 45 minutes.

Carra Roth: Yeah, if even. Because I feel like he made a mango salsa even, right?

Juli Bauer: Oh yeah! Pineapple salsa, I think.

Carra Roth: So he; yeah. So it was like 45 minutes. And then we watched; we didn’t cook. We just watched him make it. And then we ate it.

Juli Bauer: Which I was kind of like; ok, I don’t have to cook. I’m totes cool with that.

Carra Roth: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: My legs are falling asleep. So that was our first day. And then the rest of the time we watched kite surfers.

Carra Roth: Yeah, we just hung out on the beach.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, we just hung out on the beach. Watched kite surfers.

Carra Roth: Which was so insane.

Juli Bauer: So cool. If you guys don’t know what I’m talking about, you should go to my Instagram stories and go to the highlights. If you look at Aruba, I have videos of people kite surfing. And it’s just so cool when you’re there. And you know; our friend Travis? He kite surfs, and he said he would teach us a lesson in St. Pete.

Carra Roth: No way! Isn’t St. Pete in Florida? In the Keys?

Juli Bauer: Sure. I think so.

Carra Roth: Travis is the best.

Juli Bauer: They’ve got a lot of saints down there. He’s the best.

Carra Roth: So these people make it look really easy. They were getting insane air. They were so high. So Juli and I were like; we want to do it. We want to do it. But then we were like; we need to see a normal do it. And put things into perspective. And the normals made it look pretty hard.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, it looked really miserable, honestly.

Carra Roth: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: So then a guy came over and was like; do you want to take a lesson? And I was really tempted to. Thank god Carra talked me off the ledge, because it was our last day. And she was like; if you’re going to take lessons, it should be a couple of days in a row so you can learn something instead of just trying it once and then getting nothing from it and then leaving the next day super sore in the forearms.

Carra Roth: Yeah. And Aruba is always windy. It’s always like 80-90 degrees but you can’t feel the heat because it’s always windy. So it’s a really good place to kite surf. I don’t know how there’s any sand left on the beach just because it’s so windy.

Juli Bauer: Because it’s all in your eyeballs. {laughs}

Carra Roth: It’s all in your eyes. You’re constantly getting pelted with sand. But it’s great.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Wind is so annoying at home. And it does get annoying sometimes, like when the wind hits you in the face on the beach. But 98% of the time it’s not annoying, because it cools -year-old down.

Carra Roth: Yeah, and you can’t feel how hot it is. So of course that’s why you get sunburned.

Juli Bauer: Do you still have a sunburn?

Carra Roth: I do.

Juli Bauer: Ugh.

Carra Roth: But it’s going away now. It’s just at the itchy, annoying phase.

Juli Bauer: Oh no!

Carra Roth: But that’s what’s great about it. It’s hot, but it doesn’t feel hot. And it is humid. Everyone; all the natives were like; it’s not humid. And we were like, what?

Juli Bauer: Yeah, this is 100% humid.

Carra Roth: It is so humid. If you walk outside and your glasses fog up, it’s humid.

Juli Bauer: Yes!

Carra Roth: How do you guys not think it’s humid?

Juli Bauer: My goddamn freaking camera the whole time was fogged up.

Carra Roth: Yeah, you walk outside and everything is just like; you feel clammy all over.

Juli Bauer: And then the air conditioning is like 1 degree inside.

Carra Roth: Yeah. But that’s what’s great. You just don’t feel hot really ever.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. I loved it there. It’s my favorite island to date. So then our last full day there, we had the race in the morning. So we had our 5K. And Carra did great.

Carra Roth: She’s being really nice.

Juli Bauer: Even in gastrointestinal distress.

Carra Roth: She’s being really nice. I was like; Juli, just go on. I’ll catch up. She’s like; no it’s ok. I had to walk some of it. Let’s be real; most of it.

Juli Bauer: {laughing} I was like; we’re doing great. This is great. And Carra’s just not feeling good at all. Drenched in sweat.

Carra Roth: I’m soaked, head to toe soaked. And Juli doesn’t have one bead of sweat. Not a hair out of place. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: OK, so that is because Broadway, when at CrossFit Broadway, when you go to the gym at 4:30 the sun is coming directly in. So we close the garage door, but it’s just a convection oven. It’s so hot. And just the other day I worked out. I was like; I’m going to pass out, I’m going to throw up. I don’t know what’s happening in my body. So it was so much hotter than what Aruba felt like. Because we just feel that temperature all the time in Broadway. And it’s like, we don’t have air conditioning so you just feel like you’re going to die most of the time. So when you go to Aruba, I was like; this is great.

Carra Roth: There’s a nice breeze here.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. This is wonderful. We don’t get a breeze in Broadway. So I felt ok.

Carra Roth: Well damn me not doing CrossFit.

Juli Bauer: I know. You’re so stupid.

Carra Roth: It really set me up for failure for this race.

Juli Bauer: It really did. And I wanted, honestly, at the end I was like; I wish I would have done the 10K.

Carra Roth: OH my god, I hate you so much.

Juli Bauer: {laughing}

Carra Roth: Because I’ve mostly been doing, for the past 6 months, I have mostly been doing strength stuff. Not anything endurance at all. So I feel like my cardio and endurance has definitely weakened since I’ve been doing mostly strength stuff. So it definitely was a disadvantage for this 5K.

Juli Bauer: {laughs} And coffee was a bad decision. That’s it, at the end of the day.

Carra Roth: It was a terrible decision.

Juli Bauer: You probably could have gone longer if you weren’t on coffee.

Carra Roth: Yeah. I almost had a Bridesmaid moment. Where she was running across the street and she was like; it’s happening!

Juli Bauer: It’s happening! And we were just watching Bridesmaids before we went out.

Carra Roth: Yeah. Like; oh, no. The karma.

Juli Bauer: For real. So, the race was wonderful other than that. They had a fire truck set up, so people could go under the firehose.

Carra Roth: And cool off.

Juli Bauer: Because the people who were running the half marathon or full marathon, they started at like 4 in the morning and 5:30. And they were drenched in sweat. Soaking wet. And who knows, I guess they could have poured water on themselves while they were running, or whatever. But they were pouring sweat. So they could go right under the fire truck. And they had a bunch of food and drink. And they had a party on the beach afterwards.

Carra Roth: Don’t forget the medals that we got. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: OH yeah, we got medals.

Carra Roth: It was like a thank you for participating.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, we got participation medals. We crushed it. Adults love medals, obviously. I’m not a big medal person, but…

Carra Roth: I haven’t taken mine off since we got back.

Juli Bauer: {laughs} Yeah, Carra loves medals. She’s been wearing it everywhere; even to bed. {laughs}

Carra Roth: Great conversation starter.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. So what else happened on the last day? We didn’t really do anything. We were going to do all this stuff. We were like; let’s go to the renaissance hotel, and go to flamingo island. But it was like $100 each to go to this island, and feed flamingos. Then we were like; well, we could sit on the beach. {laughs}

Carra Roth: {laughs} Yeah. So we just rented some rafts.

Juli Bauer: Oh yeah, we rented just like, like floaties. And by the way; this is what’s different about Aruba. People don’t come up to you on the beach and try to sell you a mug, or a trinket, and get in your face and when you say no thank you, then they f*cking hate you. Nobody does that there. At least where we were. Were on the other side of the island.

And then, we go up to these guys. We want to rent floaties, and it’s like $5 for a floatie, each. And we’re like; sh*t we only have like $2. And he’s like; just pay me back later.

Carra Roth: Because they don’t take cards.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. They don’t take cards. And we were like; we only have $2 in cash. And he’s like; no worries. Just get me back later.

Carra Roth: He’s like; I’ve seen you guys around, so just when you get cash come back.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Like,

Carra Roth: so we gave him a $2 deposit for our floaties.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. And then I tipped him. I gave him extra, because I’m like; this guy is great! Anywhere else they’d be like; no cash, no float. So loved that. We floated all day. We went to Edwardo’s, after our race actually. And the morning before we left. After the race was our first time. Edwardo’s is this little shack not a half mile down from our hotel, right on the beach, next to all these other hotels. It has all raw, vegan.

Carra Roth: Acai bowls.

Juli Bauer: Smoothies. And then they do huge energy balls.

Carra Roth: I think they even do poke bowls.

Juli Bauer: Yes, I saw poke. They have coconut ice cream.

Carra Roth: They put so much fruit on top of it.

Juli Bauer: Like an entire basket of fruit on your acai bowl.

Carra Roth: Yeah. It was crazy.

Juli Bauer: And they’re so good. They tasted so good. I got an acai bowl; or a peanut butter bowl or something.

Carra Roth: I got the chocolate protein. Well, the first time.

Juli Bauer: And then I got a green smoothie the next time. And then when we went the second time, I think maybe it was the owner who we met. We ordered, and then as we were picking up our order, she was like; my daughter from Australia said that she loves your blog when you came yesterday and told you to give you more energy balls. So she loaded us up on energy balls. Which were f*cking awesome later when we get stuck in Miami airport for 47 hours.

Carra Roth: Yeah, they were a savior.

Juli Bauer: They were the best. Edwardo’s. If you guys ever go to Aruba, you have to go there. So many people recommended it, and I’m glad we went to it.

Carra Roth: Yeah. And it’s a good place to just get good food.

Juli Bauer: Good, clean, delicious food. And I don’t usually eat that much fruit, and it was just so good. Fruit is so much better on the beach.

Carra Roth: Every time we just had a buffet.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, a buffet of sausage and potatoes.

Carra Roth: And bacon.

Juli Bauer: So it was nice to have…

Carra Roth: Something just light. Because I don’t love heavy breakfasts. And I feel like that’s how at a buffet you’re just shoving your face, and then you have to go get in a swimsuit.

Juli Bauer: Well, it’s like $60. I’m going to get my f*cking $60 worth, and I’m going to eat sh*t that I don’t want to eat. Like, buffets are so stupid.

I’m going to take a quick break to tell you a little bit more about this week’s sponsor, Aaptiv. Aaptiv produces audio-based workouts created by certified personal trainers available through a mobile app. One of the best parts about the Aaptiv app is that you can workout anywhere. Whether you’re traveling, or you just put the baby down for a nap, or you’re just feeling like working out in your living room, Aaptiv is ready for you anytime. Aaptiv has expert trainers to help you stay motivated and get you the best results from your workout. Plus, they have a variety of classes and levels, so anyone can workout no matter what point you’re at in your own life.

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And while I take this much needed coffee break, let’s talk about this weeks’ sponsor, Fab Fit Fun. Fab Fit Fun is a seasonal subscription box with full size beauty, fitness, fashion, and lifestyle products. It retails for $49.99, but always has a value over $200. Use code PaleOMG for $10 off your first Fab Fit Fun box at FabFitFun.com.

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But if you’re also a makeup lover like me, you’re going to be obsessed with the Tarte pro-glow powder and cream set. It makes contouring and highlighting super easy. Plus they have skincare products like ELEMIS papaya enzyme peel and Vasanti brighten up face rejuvenator. Which I’m actually going to use this week now that my peel has peeled off. I’m always loving trying new products. Especially ones that I wouldn’t have picked up at the store, alone.

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Juli Bauer: So the last day; we had to take photos in the morning. Carra was put to work. We went to Edwardo’s. Then we went to Aruba airport. And what I like about Aruba is you go through their customs, then you go through US customs in Aruba.

Carra Roth: Yeah, so you don’t have to come through customs.

Juli Bauer: In the US.

Carra Roth: In the US. So everybody; we asked every local if they had ever been to the states, and they all said yes. They loved Florida. It’s real easy for them to get to, because they go through customs in Aruba. So they don’t have to deal with all that bullsh*t, it’s so easy for them. They were like; yeah, it’s so easy for us to get there.

Juli Bauer: And we didn’t know what was happening. We kept turning corners, and we were like; how are we still in a f*cking line to go through more customs? It was very confusing while we were there.

Carra Roth: Yeah it was a lot.

Juli Bauer: A lot of lines. A lot of walking.

Carra Roth: So I could see how; because somebody said it was a nightmare, but we got there at a good time.

Juli Bauer: We got there like 3 hours early.

Carra Roth: It wasn’t super busy so we didn’t really run into too much of that. It was just long. It was a process to get through.

Juli Bauer: Yes. It’s a long process. But, then it’s over with and you don’t have to deal with it with your connecting flights in wherever you’re going to. Especially if you have to go Midwest or west coast. Because Miami; you haven’t been through it yet, but Miami customs is a f*cking nightmare. It’s the worst; I hate it.

Carra Roth: I hate Miami.

Juli Bauer: It’s the worst. And I had already sworn off Atlanta, and now I have to swear off Miami. I don’t know how I’m ever going to get to the Caribbean ever again. I guess only Charlotte, and have 5-hour layovers or something.

So we feel good. We’re like; sh*t. We’re already through customs. We’ll get to Miami. We only have a 3-hour layover there. So we can get dinner. This is good. Life is good.

Carra Roth: Yeah. We were slated to get home; like land at 10:30, so we would have gotten home. By the time we got our luggage, probably would have got home around midnight or so, so that’s kind of like what we were expecting. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Until. So, we get to our gate. Ok, we get our dinner. Eat our dinner at the counter. Have a nice burger. Lots of French fries. Talk about carb loading. And then we go to our gate, and I’m like; what the f*ck? This is not our gate. So it must have moved. So we go to a new gate, and if you’ve ever been in Miami airport.

Carra Roth: Oh my god, it’s humungous.

Juli Bauer: It’s humungous. You can take the sky train, but sometimes it’s like, ok. Do I need to go to the sky train? It’s just around the corner. But it’s not. Nothing is just around the corner.

Carra Roth: Yeah. So we’re like; we’ll just walk.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, we’ll just walk. And feet are throbbing. And I’m in shorts. It’s freezing cold because you’re in the Miami airport. So we go to our new gate, and then we’re sitting there for a good 25 minutes. Then everyone is like ugh! And everyone starts moving.

Carra Roth: Everyone starts getting texts.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, all these texts. The gate has moved again; back to the original spot. So we go back to our original spot. Sitting there forever. And that’s when the texts start rolling in. We get a text; your flight has been delayed. Whatever, it’s like 30 minutes.

Carra Roth: Yeah, it was like 15-20 minutes. Not that long.

Juli Bauer: And we should look at how many texts we got.

Carra Roth: It was 8.

Juli Bauer: 8. Because it just keeps getting pushed back. And it’s like hour by hour. I don’t really get stressed out about that kind of stuff, because there’s nothing you can do about it. It f*cking sucks, and it’s like; this is annoying, I’m frustrated. But you can’t; it’s not like you can make anything happen.

Carra Roth: And at this point, it just kept getting pushed back 20 more minutes. So we were like; ok, whatever. And then this goes on for 5 hours.

Juli Bauer: 5 hours.

Carra Roth: 5 hours.

Juli Bauer: And then, finally. And people are getting so pissed. So they keep pushing us back, and they’re like; ok. Oh, no, we even got on the plane.

Carra Roth: Yes! Oh my god!

Juli Bauer: I forgot about that.

Carra Roth: me too.

Juli Bauer: So we boarded at one point, and then they deboarded us off the plane.

Carra Roth: So we boarded, and the said; since we started so late, the crew that was on there, including I think …

Juli Bauer: the pilots.

Carra Roth: Including the pilots had already been working for almost, I think they can only work for 12 hours.

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Carra Roth: And they were reaching that limit. So if we didn’t take off; it was like 10 minutes after 10. Or 6 minutes after 10. If we weren’t airborne by then, we had to deplane because the crew couldn’t work anymore. Well, we didn’t make that. So we had …

Juli Bauer: They had jinxed us big time by saying that.

Carra Roth: So we had to deboard. So we wait, and they’re like; I don’t even know what time it was, but we wait a few more hours to get pilots. They call in these backup pilots.

Juli Bauer: So, ok. After we get off the plane, as we’re waiting for new pilots to come in, American Airlines ships out these big carts of food. And it’s the shittiest food. It’s like, Pringles, Lays potato chips, pop. Stacks of sandwiches. And it’s like;

Carra Roth: Just to kind of make good by everybody.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, I was like; it’s f*cking 10 p.m. Who needs a goddamn sandwich? Did you guys not eat dinner? You hooligans. So, at first, people were like; what is this? And then it’s like riots are going on.

Carra Roth: Oh my god.

Juli Bauer: Looters in stores. Just stealing as much as they can. This guy has two armfuls of food. I was like; how many family members are you feeding? I think it’s just you, you f*cking mess of a human being.

Carra Roth: Yes. Just anything free and they…

Juli Bauer: Sh*t their pants.

Carra Roth: We’re just watching this feeding frenzy. It’s like when you throw a piece of bread at a lake and all this fish are just piling on top of each other.

Juli Bauer: That is a great explanation.

Carra Roth: That is exactly what it was. And Juli and I are just sitting there in disgust. We’re like; gross.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, it’s so gross.

Carra Roth: It was so gross.

Juli Bauer: And then this little girl goes over, and she gets a sandwich. And she goes over to her mom, and she was like; this is the best day of my life! Literally, we’ve just been delayed for 6 hours.

Carra Roth: I hate her.

Juli Bauer: And this is the best day of your life because you just got a sandwich with mustard and mayo.

Carra Roth: She’s like, it comes with mustard and mayo!

Juli Bauer: Oh my god.

Carra Roth: I never wanted to punch a little girl more than I wanted to punch her.

Juli Bauer: Right? But I wish I had an outlook like her on life.

Carra Roth: Yeah really. It was the best day of her life.

Juli Bauer: We should learn a little bit from her.

Carra Roth: That’s true. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: She was great. And then her brother, who was like 13 going on 30. He was like the most well-dressed man in the airport.

Carra Roth: He was like Tommy Bahamas head to toe. But he was like 13.

Juli Bauer: OH my god. If he is not gay, he is going to be a well-dressed adult man. He was super cute.

So now everybody is relieved a little bit because they have these nasty ass sandwiches with mustard and mayo smeared onto the damp f*cking wet bread. What more do you need in life? And then new pilots come in. Everybody cheers.

Carra Roth: Yeah, it’s like a welcome home.

Juli Bauer: They’re so excited.

Carra Roth: There’s cheering and chanting.

Juli Bauer: People are so excited. And all while this is happening; this is the saddest part. There is a 2 to 3-year-old losing his sh*t. He is losing it.

Carra Roth: He’s like hyperventilating crying. He can’t catch his breath because he’s crying so hard. And this had been going on for hours.

Juli Bauer: Hours.

Carra Roth: The dad took him for a little bit, and then the mom took him. Oh man.

Juli Bauer: It was so sad.

Carra Roth: Yeah. And then there was this group of obnoxious bachelorettes talking sh*t. Like; I’m going to go over and say something.

Juli Bauer: You thought they were bachelorettes? I just thought they were dirty ass f*cking hippies.

Carra Roth: They were there for a bachelorette party.

Juli Bauer: Ew! Who would marry one of those girls? They were like 21 dirty ass hippies, drunk as f*ck, and such b*tches.

Carra Roth: OH my gosh they were the worst. The dad is getting so frustrated, and being a dick to the mom. It was so sad to watch. And he finally takes; like the mom is doing everything in her power to get him to stop crying.

Juli Bauer: And this mom walks with a limp, like she has something wrong. Can’t move through areas very well. And she had to go to all these different gates with a screaming child.

Carra Roth: So the dad finally takes them somewhere, and he falls asleep. And then all these; there were two different strangers that went up to the mom, and the mom starts crying. I don’t know what they were saying to her.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, probably just like, I’ve been through this too. It f*cking sucks.

Carra Roth: Yeah, you’re doing great. She was just like; ugh, she felt so helpless you know.

Juli Bauer: And that’s like; you know the dad snapped at her because he was at his wit’s end.

Carra Roth: So frustrated. Yeah.

Juli Bauer: This kid was throwing his body around, hitting his mom. And these stupid drunk ass dirty ass hippies are talking sh*t, and they’re like; I’m going to go talk to this woman. Get your child under control. Like these b*tches know anything.

Carra Roth: We don’t want to listen to this.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Like, the parents want to listen to this?

Carra Roth: Yeah, they were doing. It was so sad.

Juli Bauer: She was such a See-You-Next-Tuesday. I was getting so pissed.

Carra Roth: They were sitting behind us on the first flight too.

Juli Bauer: They were awful. And these poor parents. And finally the kid fell asleep, and life was good again. I just felt so bad for them.

Carra Roth: It was heart breaking.

Juli Bauer: It was so sad, and it just make the situation so much even more high tense.

Carra Roth: Even worse. Yeah.

Juli Bauer: So, finally we get to 1 in the morning, and they cancel our flight altogether. And oh my god, this woman behind us. She was like; are you f*cking kidding me!!

Carra Roth: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Like, ok, you’re being a bit over the top. It all sucks. We’re all in this position together. And she is losing it. And she’s screaming at the front desk people; who have nothing to do with it.

Carra Roth: We’ve been waiting for 5 hours?

Juli Bauer: Yeah, we all have been. B*tch. Calm the f*ck down. Calm down. So they send us over to a desk to rebook.

Carra Roth: To rebook. Get vouchers for a shuttle to the hotel.

Juli Bauer: Breakfast. And dinner. And these vouchers; American Airlines. I think you need to step it up a little bit.

Carra Roth: {laughs} It’s not market rate American Airlines.

Juli Bauer: No. Yeah, the breakfast was $7. You can get one coffee for $7 in the airport. And the dinner was $12. Come on! What dinner can you get for $12 in the f*cking airport?

Carra Roth: You can’t.

Juli Bauer: You cannot. And they didn’t give us any vouchers for another flight in the future.

Carra Roth: Nope. It was just to stay the night.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, in a sh*tty hotel. So I tell Cara. She’s never been through Miami security. And it f*cking sucks. I stayed in the Miami hotel airport and still had to sit in airport security for an hour. And it was like 5 in the morning. So I tell her; I don’t think we should go to a hotel.

Carra Roth: So our flight in the morning is at 6:45.

Juli Bauer: 6:45 the next day.

Carra Roth: So we would have gotten to the hotel at 2. Had 2 hours of sleep before we would have had to come back to the airport.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. What’s the point?

Carra Roth: So we just made the executive decision that the airport was our new home.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. So we’re like.

Carra Roth: We live here now.

Juli Bauer: We live here now. And thank god I was traveling with Carra and not like my husband, because Brian would have been in such a bad mood, and he would have had to go to work the next day. It would have been so stressful. Thankfully you and I were just like delirious. We’re just like; what can we do. This is our home.

Carra Roth: Yeah, we can’t do anything. This is our new home.

Juli Bauer: Let’s find a corner.

Carra Roth: Let’s cry. And just.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, I was close to crying. When you’re just so tired.

Carra Roth: So tired.

Juli Bauer: So we find this corner where we can find a bunch of plugs to plug in all our electronics. And Carra half goes to sleep, kind of in and out of sleep.

Carra Roth: It was like that terrible, terrible sleep. Where it’s just awful.

Juli Bauer: And I’m working for a little while, and then I’m like; what words am I typing? I don’t even know what I’m typing at this point. This is pointless. So I try to sleep next to Carra. And I’m like; it sucks that I didn’t pack the blanket with us. She’s like; you didn’t pack the blanket that I bough you in the Charlotte airport? You motherf*cker, I had so much room in my purse. And I had no idea, because I didn’t have any room. So I packed it in our checked suitcase. So she’s like; what the f*ck.

Carra Roth: And it was so cold. So you can’t sleep because it’s so cold. We were freezing. We’re lying on the floor. It was so uncomfortable. It was terrible.

Juli Bauer: It was the worst. So finally I just started watching the Office. And you were in and out of crappy sleep. And finally at like 5 in the morning, we were like; let’s find a Starbucks.

Carra Roth: Yeah, what time does Starbucks open.

Juli Bauer: And then I was delirious and I ordered a matcha. I f*cking hate matcha.

Carra Roth: {laughs} She orders matcha and I was like; don’t you hate matcha? She’s like, yeah, but it’s just warm. I’m like; so is my latte.

Juli Bauer: I was going to take a third of a Xanax again and pass out on this flight so I could get some sort of sleep. And I didn’t want to have caffeine fighting with the Xanax.

Carra Roth: I don’t think that would have been a problem. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Yeah. That’s true. That sh*t is f*cking intense. So I drank a sh*tty ass matcha. I drank 4 sips of it. But thank god, my voucher covered it.

Carra Roth: {laughs} We used our dinner vouchers for breakfast.

Juli Bauer: OH yeah. I forgot we even ate breakfast there. We had the Starbucks breakfast sandwiches or whatever. Damn the world. So then our new flight pattern; instead of flying straight from Miami to Colorado, we have to go to Chicago.

Carra Roth: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: And then we have an hour layover there, and then we have to fly to Denver. And then we got home, and I went straight to the couch and slept. And somebody was like; I can’t believe you’re still in the clothes that you wore in the airport on the floor. And I was like; I literally didn’t even think about that because I was dying. How do people stay up for hours on end? No wonder it’s how they hurt people; prisoners of war, keeping them up for f*cking days.

Carra Roth: I mean, we could not even think. We were just.

Juli Bauer: Pathetic.

Carra Roth: Such shells of human beings.

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Carra Roth: I didn’t feel fully normal until probably yesterday.

Juli Bauer: Totally. Totally. Yesterday, two days; three days? Two days later.

Carra Roth: We were supposed to get home Monday. Like, late Monday. We got home Tuesday; a full day later.

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Carra Roth: I didn’t feel normal again until yesterday.

Juli Bauer: No. But I can say, even though it all sucked, we didn’t have a screaming child with us.

Carra Roth: Yeah. That’s a silver lining.

Juli Bauer: We didn’t have to take children. For real. Could you imagine if you had a child there and you had to decide; ok, we have to go to a hotel. We can’t sleep here on the floor. I have a 3-year-old who is about to lose his sh*t. So there is a silver lining.

Carra Roth: Yep. There it is.

Juli Bauer: Where did that saying come from?

Carra Roth: Not sure.

Juli Bauer: OK. So I thought we could end the episode with some travel pet peeves.

Carra Roth: Oh man. Ok.

Juli Bauer: I’m going to start it off. So these were, as I’m sitting in the airport and I have nothing to do and I’m delirious. I’m like; I’m going to start writing down things that people do that annoy me. Number one; chewing gum with your mouth open.

Carra Roth: That’s a good one.

Juli Bauer: And Brian does it sometimes. But he’s super hot so it’s fine.

Carra Roth: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: He doesn’t chew gum that much anymore but when I first met him, I was like; oh, he’s hot so it’s fine. But when it’s someone that you don’t; it’s like when people lick their fingers. It’s like; if your husband does that when you’re at home, it’s like; whatever. But anybody else, you’re gross. So chewing gum with your mouth open is my first one.

Carra Roth: OK.

Juli Bauer: Don’t do that.

Carra Roth: You’ve got it. I don’t chew a lot of gum, either.

Juli Bauer: I don’t either. I feel like it makes me hungry.

Carra Roth: Did you see people at the airport chewing gum?

Juli Bauer: Yeah. That’s why I wrote it down.

Carra Roth: OK. I didn’t notice that. Alright, what’s your next one?

Juli Bauer: You still don’t have one?

Carra Roth: I’ll chime in. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: OK. I actually have one that I wrote down before the airport that’s your pet peeve. Carra’s pet peeve is babies in bikinis.

Carra Roth: {laughing} We didn’t see any of these in the airport. But. Oh, you mean, just like traveling in general.

Juli Bauer: Yes.

Carra Roth: OK.

Juli Bauer: I just wrote this one down; I was thinking it more pet peeves, and then I turned it into travel because we were traveling for 48 hours.

Carra Roth: Right. We might have been traveling longer than our actual stay was.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, no kidding. What the f*ck. So Carra hates babies in bikinis.

Carra Roth: I hate it so much.

Juli Bauer: Like triangle tops.

Carra Roth: We did see that on the beach. And it’s just like; their water logged diapers are so big, and sticking out everywhere.

Juli Bauer: {laughs} So cute.

Carra Roth: These triangle bikinis. It’s like;

Juli Bauer: Yeah, I don’t like those. And it’s like; a nipple is out.

Carra Roth: Yeah, always!

Juli Bauer: What’s the point of even having a top on a baby?

Carra Roth: It’s like; preserve their innocence and let them be cute little babies.

Juli Bauer: Free the nipple.

Carra Roth: Yeah. Don’t make your baby a slut.

Juli Bauer: OH my god. Ok, what if a baby is just in a diaper. Like a swimmer diaper on the beach.

Carra Roth: That doesn’t bother me. It’s just the actual bikini. Yes.

Juli Bauer: So what do you think about matching mom swimsuits.

Carra Roth: Ok, so we did see one that was a high waisted. Do you remember that one we saw, on the toddler?

Juli Bauer: No.

Carra Roth: You showed it to me. Anyway. That one was kind of almost like a one piece. But it wasn’t.

Juli Bauer: It was a classy one. It was a classy two-piece.

Carra Roth: Yeah. Classy two-piece. You mean mother and daughter matching?

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Carra Roth: I’m totally into it, if that’s what you want to do. As long as your baby daughter is not in a two-piece.

Juli Bauer: In a triangle two piece.

Carra Roth: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: What about when it’s not a triangle piece, it’s like a bandeau.

Carra Roth: Not into it, at all.

Juli Bauer: What about strapless.

Carra Roth: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Oh my god, those are the worst. It’s like; rolls of fat.

Carra Roth: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: It doesn’t bother me, but I see where you’re coming from.

Carra Roth: I just hate it so much.

Juli Bauer: You do. It’s so great. Because you don’t really hate anything.

Carra Roth: No.

Juli Bauer: You don’t have strong feelings towards a lot of things.

Carra Roth: But babies in bikinis is one of them. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Babies in bikinis. That could be a show. Toddlers and Tiaras style. Ok. Do you have one yet?

Carra Roth: No. Keep going.

Juli Bauer: Goddammit Carra. I gave her homework today, and she did not perform. So I hate when people are in public places, like an airport, and talk with their phone on speaker phone.

Carra Roth: Oh my gosh, yes! We have so much of this happening.

Juli Bauer: It’s like; put it up to your goddamn ear!

Carra Roth: There were so many people in; what airport? Was it Aruba?

Juli Bauer: Yeah it was Aruba.

Carra Roth: Well I guess it was every airport. Nobody had headphones, everyone was just listening to their phone.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, watching Instagram stories. You did it at one point, and I had to point it out to you.

Carra Roth: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: I was like; you’re that guy right now.

Carra Roth: But it was really quiet.

Juli Bauer: Quiet for everyone else until you started listening to that. But, ok. Videos are super annoying. Put your headphones in. Or turn it down super low. If you’re watching YouTube or whatever.

Carra Roth: But were across the room from these people, and we could hear it full. We could understand what they were saying.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. And they’ll have it on speaker phone, and they’re talking into it, and they’re like, “Hey Joe!” It’s like; why are you yelling. First of all, you’re on speaker phone. And it’s a phone. Have you never used a phone? This is 2018 and you’re yelling into a goddamn cell phone.

Carra Roth: Yeah. There was so many; that happened so much. It was so weird.

Juli Bauer: Speaker phone is only made for the phone.

Carra Roth: Or at your house.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, when you’re doing your hair. Not in public places.

Carra Roth: Agreed.

Juli Bauer: Oh I hate it!

Carra Roth: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: I see people doing that walking down the street.

Carra Roth: Really? It’s so loud, how do you hear them? But I feel like just traveling in general, especially at the airport, you have to deal with the general public, and the general public is the worst.

Juli Bauer: Yes. The worst.

Carra Roth: I don’t know how stewardesses do it. I bartended at a few points in my life, and dealing with that was bad enough. But you have to deal with the general public.

Juli Bauer: The worst.

Carra Roth: And they’re traveling.

Juli Bauer: I think about that with Crystal all the time. My friend Crystal. I don’t know how she does it for Southwest.

Carra Roth: People who are terrible travelers; you have to deal with these people. And most of them are assholes. It just sounds like the worst job ever.

Juli Bauer: It is. Or working for an airline when a flight is canceled.

Carra Roth: Yeah. It’s like; everyone that works at the airport is so grumpy. Most of the stewardesses are night. But in the airport; people checking; going through security, checking your passport. They’re always so grumpy. They never say anything. No matter if you’re like; how’s your day? They don’t even acknowledge you. The people keeping people going through the line. I get it. You have to deal with stupid people all the time. But they just make it so miserable.

Juli Bauer: I know. It is a miserable experience traveling in general. Ok, so this one. I walked passed this woman when I was going to the bathroom as we were waiting for our flight before it got canceled. I had to go to the bathroom 47 times. I walked passed this woman. I saw this on TV recently. This guy got recorded in maybe Chipotle; some sort of restaurant. And this guy is freaking out. He’s like; these people need to speak English, we’re in America.

So I walked passed this woman, and she’s doing the same speech. Where she’s like; I expect people who are in America to speak English. You can do whatever you want, but you should be speaking English here. And I just wanted to be like; ok, so when you go to France, do you speak French? So, do you expect people, like you, to know French because you’re traveling there?

Carra Roth: This happened?

Juli Bauer: This happened. She was like; what did she say? I wrote it down. She’s like; I don’t mind if people are bilingual. I just expect the person to speak the language depending on the country. So, how many languages do you speak, b*tch? I have a feeling, based on what I saw from you.

Carra Roth: Your ignorance.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Your ignorance in general. I just couldn’t’ believe. It’s always such a shock to me when people are so ignorant and say sh*t like that. I’m like; like I expect myself to speak more languages and I don’t. I find myself ignorant for not speaking more languages. Not being put in that situation to speak more languages. And I don’t ever expect people to speak English. It’s always wonderful. But if they don’t, I’m going to figure out a way to communicate with them.

Carra Roth: And we’ve traveled a lot together, and we’ve never been like; expect.

Juli Bauer: You should speak English.

Carra Roth: {laughs} Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Isn’t that weird?

Carra Roth: Even when we were on St. Bard’s, and it’s a French island. Most people did speak English, luckily.

Juli Bauer: Well when we were in Guadeloupe, nobody spoke English anywhere. Anywhere. I met one person who spoke English at a restaurant, and it was so hard communicating. Because French is so different. You can look at a Spanish menu and figure out what fish is. And French is; I literally don’t know what that word is. I don’t know how you put those letters together and speak a word. I just couldn’t believe when I heard that. I’m like; man we are around so many ignorant people. So that’s what I hate about traveling. Ignorant people.

Carra Roth: Totally.

Juli Bauer: Do you have anymore? Or any at all. Goddammit, homework assignment.

Carra Roth: {laughs} You just gave it to me like 2 hours ago.

Juli Bauer: Ok, here’s another one. Kids in first class who don’t know how lucky they are that they’re in first class.

Carra Roth: Oh man. Yeah.

Juli Bauer: They have no idea.

Carra Roth: They get blankets.

Juli Bauer: They get blankets. They get drinks before you even take off. And I’ve never been in first class; I think I’ve only ever been in business class. I don’t know what first class really looks like. But as we passed getting onto our 6 a.m. flight, or some flight. There were these kids in first class. And I’m like; f*ck. Or business. I don’t know what it is. But they’re just; with their iPads, rich as f*ck. Life is good.

Carra Roth: Meanwhile, we’ve just been traveling for over 24 hours, sleeping in the airport. And they’re freshly showered.

Juli Bauer: And I upgraded our flights by like $18 so we could sit in row 6 and then we got bumped back to row 17.

Carra Roth: Oh yeah.

Juli Bauer: I haven’t gotten my $18 back, that’s for sure. Goddamn American, you son of a b*tch. And then my other one is drunk Colorado grungy hippies.

Carra Roth: Yes, those girls were the worst. They were there. They went to Miami. You had your headphones in the whole time we were sitting on the plane.

Juli Bauer: I could still hear them.

Carra Roth: And I didn’t. So I was actually listening to them. Because I couldn’t not. So they were there for a bachelorette party. And they were the most obnoxious. I heard one of them say she was 25, so you’d think they would have their sh*t together a little bit. But they were so obnoxious. They were drunk on the plane. And granted, they didn’t know that the flight was going to get canceled. So they thought they were going to party the whole way home.

Juli Bauer: And then sleep.

Carra Roth: And then sleep. So that just made it even worse. We were sitting…

Juli Bauer: And they kept drinking as we were waiting.

Carra Roth: We were waiting to take off; they went up to the stewardess to ask if they could get wine before we even took off. And the stewardess was like; no, absolutely not. Sit down. They brought coffee in Starbucks cups onto the plane. They were just; they were so loud. None of them were sitting together, so they all were just talking back and forth to each other.

Juli Bauer: Screaming.

Carra Roth: They were screaming across. So they were like that little boy, on the plane.

Juli Bauer: And they were grungy ass hippies. This is what Colorado has turned into, and what we see around town all the time.

Carra Roth: That was another thing. We were sitting at the Denver gate. And I was like; Juli, look around. You would think we were going to the most Podunk town.

Juli Bauer: With the Miami gate.

Carra Roth: Yes. I was like; what is going on. All these grungy, it was so weird. It’s like; we’re going to Denver. It’s not like we’re going to Podunk Nebraska. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Yeah. And Carra can say that because she’s from Nebraska. Don’t freak the f*ck out.

Carra Roth: {laughs} But it was so weird. It was crazy to me.

Juli Bauer: It was gross.

Carra Roth: It was gross.

Juli Bauer: Colorado has brought some nasty ass people from the weed. It’s like; some of these people who are begging on the side of the road acting like they’re homeless. I’m like; you just want weed. Literally, you’re just begging for weed money.

Carra Roth: Or meth.

Juli Bauer: That’s true. There’s one guy around here who is a total meth head.

Carra Roth: Of course. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: He sleeps in the park sometimes, and I’m like; I’m scared of you.

Carra Roth: What park? This park?

Juli Bauer: This park, yeah. And then he walks out over the main street and is all cracked out.

Carra Roth: Damn.

Juli Bauer: But he looks quite kind. He has kind eyes. Not really, he has meth eyes.

Carra Roth: At least he gets grass to sleep on in that park. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: He is so skinny. He’s so skinny and methed out. Maybe he’s just thin. Maybe he’s just #blessed.

Carra Roth: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: Ok. Do you have any other pet peeves? I can’t believe you didn’t do your homework assignment.

Carra Roth: I did a couple. I chimed in. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: No you didn’t.

Carra Roth: I just piggybacked off yours.

Juli Bauer: I mean, traveling in general is the worst.

Carra Roth: Traveling, yeah, it’s the worst.

Juli Bauer: But, you got to go to Aruba. And that was the best.

Carra Roth: It was the best. It was totally worth it.

Juli Bauer: It was worth the sh*tty night. And at the end of the day, there are way worse things in the world.

Carra Roth: Did you see, on the news, just recently. It was American Airlines and this girl got her luggage, and it literally looked like it went through a paper shredder.

Juli Bauer: No!

Carra Roth: It came out; they had to put it in a basket because it was completely opened. It literally looked like; there was stuff missing, obviously, because it wasn’t even closed. But it literally looked like it went through a shredder.

Juli Bauer: Oh no, American.

Carra Roth: Yes! Like, how does it? I don’t think, they just delivered it. Not like; hey.

Juli Bauer: Something happened.

Carra Roth: She had to go file…

Juli Bauer: A claim.

Carra Roth: Yeah, she had to take the initiative.

Juli Bauer: What the f*ck?

Carra Roth: And they gave her like 35.

Juli Bauer: American!

Carra Roth: Yes! If she wouldn’t have said anything, should have just had this tote with her luggage inside of it that is completely ripped to shreds. And they didn’t say anything. They did give her like $3500 to reimburse her for stuff. But still; American, come on!

Juli Bauer: I feel like we should complain. I think we should complain and see if we can get a voucher for a flight. Because I think they should have done that.

Carra Roth: Did you get an email that was like; tell us how your flight was.

Juli Bauer: No.

Carra Roth: It’s like; the audacity. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: That’s weird I didn’t get one. Well it probably went to the person who booked my flight.

Carra Roth: Well, yeah.

Juli Bauer: The audacity.

Carra Roth: We’re going to write a strongly worded Yelp review.

Juli Bauer: Yelp review. Actually, that is really funny you said that. I was picking weeds out today, thinking about conversations we could have on the podcast today. And I thought about how it would be funny to look at your Yelp reviews. And for some reason, I was like; well, I don’t have that many Yelp reviews. So I looked at it; and I have a decent amount of Yelp reviews.

Carra Roth: For what?

Juli Bauer: I was like; when did I leave all these Yelp reviews?

Carra Roth: Wait, you left them?

Juli Bauer: Yes.

Carra Roth: Oh my god. You’re a Yelper? {laughs}

Juli Bauer: I look like a Yelper. OK, only one is bad. It was when those people f*cked up my lashes super bad. Remember when they lash lifted them and they were curled back into my f*cking eyelids? So I left a bad review because the manager was terrible. She was awful. And some people on the Yelp was like; she was trying to pay me off with free treatments to take down my bad review. So she obviously sucks. But everything else was me just wanting to talk highly. Because I left a review for our garage door people. So that was just like; oh, I have more on here. So it was all positive ones. I left one for a tailor. I left one for a nail place.

Carra Roth: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: It’s like; when did I leave these reviews?

Carra Roth: I don’t think I’ve ever left one Yelp review.

Juli Bauer: You should. It’s a good thing to do.

Carra Roth: I left a review on Amazon on your cookbook.

Juli Bauer: Are you serious?

Carra Roth: I think that’s the only review I’ve ever left on anything.

Juli Bauer: You left me a review!

Carra Roth: Yes.

Juli Bauer: I had to stop looking at reviews because people are mean.

Carra Roth: Mine was good.

Juli Bauer: I hope so! {laughs}

Carra Roth: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: Damn.

Carra Roth: That’s the only review I think I’ve ever left online.

Juli Bauer: Well, maybe you should get on Yelp.

Carra Roth: I must not care that much.

Juli Bauer: I know. I shouldn’t either. But at least I’m leaving positive ones. Because I feel like you can really tell the character of someone by their Yelp reviews.

Carra Roth: {laughs} That’s true.

Juli Bauer: I think we should; actually I feel like I’ve heard somebody do that on a podcast. Not that I listened to the podcast, but somebody talked about it. About going through Yelp reviews, and reading, and going to that person’s profile and reading all the Yelp reviews they leave.

Carra Roth: When I worked at a bar we would do that.

Juli Bauer: That’s smart. Let’s start looking into these people.

Carra Roth: Ok.

Juli Bauer: Like, make full profiles. Which, I’m one of those people, apparently.

Carra Roth: Yeah. They live to leave reviews. SouthPark Episode.

Juli Bauer: Yes! Oh my god.

Carra Roth: I’m a food critic.

Juli Bauer: I’m totally one of those human beings. I’m a Yelper.

Carra Roth: You are. You are.

Juli Bauer: Ew gross.

Carra Roth: Gross.

Juli Bauer: Well, you guys, thanks for listening to another episode with Carra Roth. She’s the best. I’ve noticed some of you guys are trying to add her on Instagram.

Carra Roth: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: She probably won’t accept you. She and Brian are very stingy about their accepts. Brian hasn’t accepted anyone in probably years.

Carra Roth: {laughs} That’s true.

Juli Bauer: And he has over 200 requests, and he refuses to accept anyone. And it will be like “Paleo Pandi poopoo”. He’s like; get out of here Paleo Pandi poopoo.

Carra Roth: {laughing} Paleo Pandi poopoo is on my request list too.

Juli Bauer: Weird! Ok, well thanks for another episode. You’ve been great. I hope you never get a job, so you can stay.

Carra Roth: Who’s that girl who says really nice things about us? We were going to give her a shout out, but I forgot her name.

Juli Bauer: Where?

Carra Roth: Remember we read her review in Aruba. She said really nice things about me and you.

Juli Bauer: Oh, on the blog.

Carra Roth: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Yes! People have been loving these episodes. It’s really fun.

Carra Roth: I’m so happy.

Juli Bauer: And when I say people, I mean it’s like four comments. But I love all four of those comments, so I’m going to keep it going until Carra gets a job and can’t just podcast in the middle of the week. I’m not happy about it.

Carra Roth: We can do it on weekends.

Juli Bauer: There’s a lot to do on weekends. We have to photograph like 7 outfits. Record a podcast. I’m literally never going to stop working. It’s like I don’t. It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Ok, I love you.

Carra Roth: I love you!

Juli Bauer: See you guys later!

Carra Roth: Bye.

Juli Bauer: Bye!

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Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.

I’m a food hoarder. And a really bad dancer. If you don’t know me well, you will probably not understand my humor. Therefore, I apologize ahead of time. Thanks for listening to my ramblings of my ever-changing life and trusting my kitchen mishaps. Your trust in me is appreciated.

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9 thoughts on “Aruba & Travel Pet Peeves – Episode 88: PaleOMG Uncensored”

  1. Absolutely love your podcasts with your sister-in-law!!!! Have a group of friends that love them as well! Y’all are hilarious! So that’s officially like three reviews total!!!!

  2. Thank you for being so kind and understanding to those poor parents at the airport. Traveling with children is one of the most stressful things parents do. Don’t touch that, it’s dirty! Don’t put your hands in your mouth! Don’t kick the seat! No, I’m not buying that (toy, stuffed animal, juice, candy, whatever) Don’t talk loo loudly! Stay right here and don’t move a muscle! I know you want me to help you in the plane bathroom but WTF I’m not a contortionist! Aagh, it’s the worst. But as a Mom, it means a lot to hear you have some empathy for them. I dare say nobody enjoys traveling with young children, but sometimes you just have to. And those bachelorettes sound like total bee-yotches. I’m glad the Aruba portion of the trip was good, though!

  3. Thank you for making my Monday mornings!! Love your blog and podcast! So the dude who threw the pic is Connor! Hate him! Lol Garrett is the sweet fisherman. Anyway I love the recaps! They are the best!

  4. I HATE WHEN BABIES WHERE BIKINIS! I’m very much like Carra. Like my fiancé this weekend said “no offense, but there’s not a lot of stuff that you care a lot about” and he meant like things that get to me. But babies in bikinis just lights a rage in me. They are always falling off and it just looks so uncomfortable. I would be fine if they were naked but there is something like so sexual about a bikini….I hate it.

  5. I think you and your SIL should do EVERY episode together. I adore you twoooo! Loved this episode + appreciated your kindness towards that family with the little one. I wish everyone would be so gracious and patient.

    sincerely, colleen

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