Todays podcast is super random. My intent was to remind you that social media should not change how you feel about yourself or your life. But a crazy lightning storm was quite distracting and made it challenging. Anywho, we live in an age where social media often dictates how we feel about our own lives, but we need to be aware of those feelings and not let them take over our brain. I know these feeling first hand and go through them often so I’m giving a couple tips that have helped me stay sane. But this podcast is also about a lot of other random crap going on. Random is just what I do. Enjoy!
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Episode 37 Transcription Coming Soon!
24 Comments
Just listened and totally know how you feel about the kid convo. We like to say we’re “child free” not “childless” because our lives aren’t lacking anything. I have to go to my husband’s HS reunion tonight where everyone has multiple kids and I’m trying to mentally prepare myself to not totally flip out when people are rude. Like, I don’t ask people when they’re getting a gym membership. Don’t ask me when I’m having kids kthnxbye.
Yaaaaasss!!!
Tell them you can spend money on whatever you want, can can organize your time however you want, you can plan trips and leave the house whenever you want, you only have to take care of yourself and your husband (maybe a dog too…who knows), you can focus on your job and not worry about schools calling to inform you that your child is sick. Then say “so how are you guys”? That should quiet them down.
I’m engaged, and my fiance and I have openly and thoroughly discussed our desire to not have children. We did this together, and it’s our choice. I can’t wait to “go off” on people when they say that we’re making a mistake or whatever other nonsense they try to tell us.
Also, I’m one of six kids, and I love my nieces and nephews to death. Having my own just isn’t for me. Nothing wrong with that! :)
OMG was Jackson snoring during the podcast? SO CUTE!
he tends to do that a lot so that’s definitely possible!
Ahhhh- this is my life! I have and had no desire to have kids. I’m 34, my husband is 37, we’ve been married 9 years and together for 10, and we’re child free, by choice at first and then my body put an exclamation point after the statement for me. Everyone was worried I’d be sad about losing my fertility, and I was like- I never have to worry about this again, pass me a mojito.
I have always received so much shade from women for not wanting kids- and the most bullshit thing is that it was always from women who barely know me. Like Facebook friends I haven’t seen in 10 years telling me my time is running out. My mom? Fine with it. His mom? Fine with it. My friends? Can’t wait to go on a cruise with me. 95% of other women I meet? Totally fine with it and respect my decisions. Rando whack jobs- obsessed with my uterus, obsessed with calling me selfish, obsessed with telling me how I hate kids (umm…not true).
I thought that my hysterectomy plus being in my mid-30’s would squash the pressure of having babies, but now it’s just lead to pressuring to adopt. People don’t get this opinionated about what MBA program I choose, or how I cut my hair, but they’re both equally as important to me (I like my hair, ok?) and equally non-essential to other people’s lives: it only affects me and my husband (he has to look at me) and it just doesn’t affect them, period. Are they going to pay for college for my child? Childcare? Health care? Diapers? If not, then I don’t need the judgement. I’ll never understand it.
I used to be apologetic about not having or wanting kids, and the have and have-not line in the sand has been an obstacle some of our friendships couldn’t find a way to cross (which, honestly, has been the HARDEST thing to deal with. Losing friends hurts), but now I talk about my decision with confidence. I’m like you and I might change my mind and adopt some day but I don’t see it. I do, however, see myself being the coolest aunt that ever existed. I can’t wait to spoil all my friends kids rotten.
At the end of the day, we all just need to do what makes us happy, and be happy for everyone else doing exactly the same.
Go and get yourself a copy of ‘Selfish, Shallow and Self Absorbed’. It’s fantastic and it helps take some of that pressure off. That is, if you feel like more reading after this novel.
Juli!! I know your trying to steer away from hormonal birth control but also are not trying to get pregnant. Have you ever heard of The Lady Comp? Its a fertility monitor but works as birth control its VERY accurate. Something to look into. Keep doing you, thanks for another great podcast!!
i’ll check it out! thanks for the recommendation!
Hi Juli! I heard you talking about looking into other birth control options in the latest episode, and I echo the comment above about the LadyComp. The same company also came out with the Daysy, which uses the same algorithm. It’s smaller than the LadyComp and connects to your phone so you can view all your data in the app. I’m just coming off the pill and will be using this for birth control, so I thought I would throw another option out there. Best of luck to you–I’m a huge fan of you and your podcast! :)
1. Thank you
2. Podcast recommendations
3. Topic recommendation
1. Thank you for another great podcast. You talked about very personal things, thank you for sharing vulnerabilities. I am sorry that your friends were not respectful, but at the end of the day, at least YOU KNOW that you were a good friend and respectful to them, and you can feel good about how you handled yourself. You do you.
Lol, the lightning in the background was totally appropriate for the feeling of the episode; convenient ambiance!
2. You seem to like darker subjects for entertainment, as well as topics that uncover secrets or cover-ups. I recommend 99% Invisible, and start with this episode (you will totally be like ‘WTF!’): http://99percentinvisible.org/episode/structural-integrity/
Another one that you might enjoy is Stuff They Don’t Want You To Know, here is one about serial killers: http://www.stufftheydontwantyoutoknow.com/podcasts/serial-killers-p2.htm
3. A podcast topic that you might be able to cover is over-exercising,reducing exercising, and perhaps addiction to exercising. How did you responsibly reduce your exercise regiment from the days when you competed to the amount you do now?
thanks for the recommendations! i’ll check them out! i actually talk about over exercising and reducing exercise in my third episode since i went through that myself! https://paleomg.com/paleomg-uncensored-podcast-episode-3-exercise-over-exercising/
Juli,
Your points in this podcast are awesome! Social media has this shitty demented way of screwing with your head like, “why are my days not like xyz all the time” or “why don’t I have this and this person does.” OMG, When you are on a diet and you follow all these people that are stupid skinny and you see them eating pizza and candy and baked goods and you are just like what in the eff am I doign wrong with my routine where I don’t look like that. I think we live in a society where everything is social media now and if it’s not on facebook, it’s on twitter, and if it’s not there it’s on IG. I really needed this for today and it seriously helped me realize that a lot of my shitty mood recently is because I am letting something as stupid as social media control the way I feel.
PS – I totally tried OTH this past month and I think I am in love! I think it’s an awesome compliment to any training program and love the rush I get from surviving class!
totally!! i get wrapped up in that kind of crap when i see a crazy fit girl and she’s talking about her obsession for pizza all the time. i’m like, what the actual fuck? it’s so easy to get wrapped up in that! so damn annoying! so glad you’re enjoy OTF!
Don’t you just want to slap them for their rudeness? So many people think I’m selfish because I have 3 stepkids and no biological kids. I’m totally fine with that! Know what I do have? A husband with a Harley, time to workout, extra cash, a really flippin’ sweet vehicle, a dog and a horse. It freaking rocks! The comments are out of this world! We spend a ton of time and finances on the stepkids- adding another one would make me crazy!
Hey Juli! Just listened to your podcast…clearly the women you spoke with at this party are jealous of you and your life. People are funny and I’ve found that many times people say things due to their own troubles and insecurities. I’m sure they’re thrilled to have children but they’re also experiencing some of the not so fun times that come along with parenthood. Like you said misery loves company. Next time that happens just say, “You actually sound pretty stressed and I enjoy my freedom…I’m not interested in giving that up.” Show them your abs and walk away ????????. That will shut them up for a while. I’m actually the mother of two teenagers who I love more than life itself. The joys that come along with motherhood are indescribable, but so is the stress and constant worry. I made what I consider a pretty selfless statement to my kids the other day…I told them to save themselves a lot of stress and not have kids!
OMG Juli! The Keepers is ao hard to watch but I NEED to know what happened so I have to keep watching!
I love how you like so many random things! Bachelorette vs The Keepers? Talk about a well-rounded set of interests!!! Thanks for sharing all the things!
Juli –
firstly you do you girl! tell these guys to f-off and leave you and your ovaries alone!
question and I know you did a podcast about it but I have a good friend who is attempting to start his own business but he’s not super in tuned with social media and creating a brand for himself and his products. Do you have any suggestions – like how did you learn the basics of how to build a community, how to create followership or how to get your brand out there?
It wasn’t so specific in the podcast and I know he would love some advice … don’t suppose you do some small business mentoring / tutoring?
Love ya! Thans
i honestly have just learned as i go. i post on social media constantly, i create new content 6 days a week and i try to talk to as many people as i can in the community. it’s just learning as i go and watching what others are doing, as well! and at this point, i don’t do mentoring, i just don’t have time. but maybe one day!
Juli – I just wanted to tell you I really personally identified and appreciated this podcast. My husband and I have been married for 8 years, with no children, and frequently get the baby question also. People in our society can be very judgemental of people who choose not to have children, and it really, really hurts sometimes. You sort of feel like you’re not in this club that everyone else is in and that they have nothing to relate to you about. It’s tough, but I’m so grateful to know that one my favorite bloggers has these same struggles in this area that to me, can feel so isolating.
it really does hurt. and they make you feel like you’re missing out. it’s pretty frustrating and definitely makes you feel alone. it’s nice to know others out there feel the same way i do! keep living your amazing life with your husband!
Omg! You got my started on The Bachelorette and I had to share this with you! ????
https://www.google.com/amp/amp.tmz.com/2017/06/13/bachelorette-peter-kraus-planned-reality-fame
ughhhhh damnit Peter
The kids conversation doesn’t change when you have kids in my experience. I have a 6 almost 7 year old beautiful daughter but I had her in high school and lived in a province that it was illegal to have an abortion still! She was 10lbs 2oz at birth and I did it natural and it will never happen again! Now I am 25, going into my PhD, happy with my life and I still get the question when am I going to have more kids. I have gotten it so often over the last 5 years that I’ve started saying I don’t like kids. They shut right up and for the most part, it’s true. Kids are annoying and brats a lot! So, you have to figure out a way to shut them up.
The section about babies was like you were talking about my life. My mother in law is the worst about it, but I just have no interest in children (we’re 30). And that’s ok! People are so rude about it and just do not show respect. Love it ????????????????