Bacon Pecan Brussel Sprouts

I’m trying to multitask right now. I have a toothbrush in my mouth (there may or may not be toothpaste goop running down my chin) while typing. I’m trying not to cry because the toothpaste is burning the open wound in my mouth from trying to consume sugar while it was still hot. Smart. That sh*t is sticky. You can’t exactly get it off when it clings to your skin. Sucker fish sugar. And I’m trying to not type with my left index finger because I was once again forgot how hot sugar is. The tip of my finger is white…not a good sign. Have you tried to not type with your index finger? Try it. Come on. It sucks ass. And I’m doing all of this while baking some shananigans in the oven and trying to finish my laundry that I’ve put off for about 2 weeks. Yes, 2 weeks. You know what that means? The washer is about to explode. Literally. I just went in my laundry room and the washer was on the complete opposite side from the dryer…it’s not suppose to be like that.

So I’ve come to some conclusions. I need to better plan ahead. I need to not consume and/or cook with sugar anymore. And I need to shower more often. That’s a side note, but is the damn truth. If I’m going to attract a mate (ew, I just said mate) I need to be smelling extra fresh and lookin like a dime piece. Holy sh*t, can you believe I just said that? That just happened. You know what is definitely going to attract a mate? The candied chocolate nuts I just made. If a guy doesn’t like those, he is stupid. And if he doesn’t like sweets, don’t worry, I cook up a mean slice of bacon. Professional style.

So what’s up with the short post? I just had toothpaste slobber fall off my chin and run down my boob. It’s reaching towards the belly button at this point. Damn, I’m attractive. I guess it’s time to shower. Effin a.