Have you ever thought about how wasteful water fountains are? I have.
Fried ice cream doesn’t make sense in my mind. So I made up my own version. Because I can. And I can rant about random stuff. Like this crap below. I’m warning you, I’m on a soap box right now.
I want to talk to you about something. Just because I like to talk about feelings. Because I have a lot of them. It’s just something that has been looming on mind for a couple of months now. I think it’s absolutely crazy how much things can change in a year’s time. How much relationships can change. How much a mind can change. And how much a body can change. This time last year, I was training incredibly hard to try to make it to the CrossFit Games. Well, even though I did not make it that far, I placed 8th in Regionals in the Southwest, and did so by gaining almost 20lbs to be able to stand a fighting chance. Not that I meant to, but I somehow did. With lots of training and lots of workouts.
But after Regionals ended and I injured myself a couple times, I had to take a step back. I stopped doing the prescribed weights in workouts, I started resting more than I had in the past two years, and I started looking into more goals I had. More things I wanted to accomplish. More things I wanted to do. These injuries made me take a step back and look at my life. It made me stop and think about what JULI wanted instead of what other people wanted.
And when I took that step back, I noticed that I hadn’t been happy for a while. I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. And for me, that is very important. I started competing because it made me happy. And made me confident. I never cared if I did poorly, I never worried about not finishing a workout. I just tried my hardest and tried to smile through it. But when disappointment began to appear on others faces, I knew it was absolutely time for me to take a step back. I never want my performance in the gym to disappoint someone. That is not why I work out. I work out to better myself. To improve myself physically and mentally. Not to upset someone because I didn’t do all my wall balls unbroken. Or because I didn’t set a PR.
This has been a hard thing for me to come to terms with. I haven’t wanted to admit it, but I don’t want to compete right now. I don’t want to train to the point that I’m spending hours in the gyms, aching constantly, and gaining 15-20lbs to be able to keep up with the amazing CrossFit ladies in my Region. That’s not what I want nor is it what my body wants. And since I’ve stopped training to my max every day, I feel better. Even though I’ve lost a ton of strength and endurance, I’m happier. I feel better in my own skin and I’m finally not crying on a regular basis because I was unhappy with how I looked. Yeah, I cried because of that. No fun. I’m an emotional mess without that crap on my mind.
But I want to make one thing clear. I LOVE CrossFit. CrossFit is one of the biggest things in my life. It’s absolutely changed my life. I have a CrossFit tattoo on my ribcage for gosh sakes. It’s really changed me and how I look at things. I set goals differently because of CrossFit. I see food differently because of CrossFit. I view health differently because of CrossFit. If I didn’t know CrossFit, I wouldn’t know me.
But this year, in 2013, I’m doing what will make me happy. And that means eating fried ice cream. My version, of course.
Banana Fried Ice Cream
Ingredients
For the ice cream
- 2 (14 ounce) cans of coconut milk
- 1/4 cup raw honey
- 1/4 cup almond butter
- 2 tablespoons cinnamon
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
For the toppings
- 2 bananas, peeled and sliced
- 2 tablespoons coconut butter
- 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon
- pinch of salt
- sprinkle of maple sugar or coconut sugar
Instructions
- Place 2 cans of coconut milk in a medium saucepan along with the honey, cinnamon, almond butter, vanilla extract, and salt.
- Add saucepan to medium heat and mix well until well combined.
- Once mixture is well combined and smooth, put in freezer until completely cooled.
- When the mixture is cooled, add to your ice cream maker and turn on.
- When your ice cream has almost completely thickened, place a small skilletover medium heat and add your coconut butter and bananas.
- Then add the cinnamon, coconut sugar, and a pinch of salt to the pan.
- Mix around in pan and cook until bananas are caramelized and soft.
- Top bananas on ice cream and sprinkle with a bit more coconut sugar.
- Eat. Emotionally eat.
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Thanks for sharing your feelings! I think you articulated what a lot of us feel when we try to find the balance between fun and work(ing out).
Also, wow! That ice cream looks amazing!
Love love love this post! You are definitely not the only one that feels this way.
I love your transparency. Hard to come by these days. Thank you,
I think you look fabulous, doesn’t look like theres an ounce of fat on you..all muscle! but you have to do what you need to do in order to be happy. I do have people telling me that they don’t want me to bulk up from CrossFit, and my first reaction is “what the hell is it to YOU?” And no, I don’t want to get to the point where my clothes don’t fit anymore but I haven’t had that happen, and I have added daily cardio back in to help with that. And since I’m only 10 months in, I’m nowhere near competition mode or nearly as strong as you. But I’m stronger than I have ever been before, or could ever have imagined and that is what I love most. I love that people in my life think I’m such a badass. I too injured myself in August and I thought about leaving. It was a crappy several weeks, but I got back in there and killed it twice as hard. I hope I never have to stop. Keep doing what you’re doing, but make sure you’re happy while doing. You’re one of my inspirations!
While I also couldn’t wait to read the recipe, this post could not have come at a better time. Thank you for your honesty. Much love JB.
Juli- you have no idea how much i needed this post this week…last week all i was doing was freaking out and being upset over the fact that I have gained weight because it’s training season and i’m trying to make it to regionals….so because of that i’m gaining and feeling ugh…was even debating giving up crossfit and just running to lean out…but i also realized how much i love love love crossfit and that i couldn’t do that….this post helped a lot!!!!! So happy you posted it! you are an awesome person and yes you need to make yourself happy first 🙂 you look great …do not look huge at all! and are an inspiration!!
Thank you for this post Juli! I love it and I’ve gotten to the same place too…My goal this year is to HAVE FUN! To still work hard and improve everyday, but more than that is to Have fun. Denise Thomas once told me, it’s not worth doing if you’re not having fun…following her words (and God), has gotten me to the place of ENJOYING CF again. Main goal is to do better in my region this year than last year and that is it. Thanks again Juli and God bless! 🙂
Just the other day my husband was like, they have to have paleo ice cream… This was after he ate a small container of ice cream and I sat and watched. I wasn’t too sad because I had good body bites for my cheat. Can’t wait to make this next Saturday, hopefully it’s not in the single digits again. On another note, I have been to two whole foods and they were both sold out of the ranch dressing you used on the Brussels sprouts. Ughhhh!
Thank you so much!! I feel like I can totally relate – I’m a baby crossfitter (~6-7 months), so I’m still making strength gains from working on form… But I’m coming opposite – I really need to cut ~20# of fat to be faster and more competitive (more than half of which I gained in the middle of grad school within the last 18 months after I stopped running marathon distance workouts). But it’s hard, because I came in as a pretty strong female to begin with, so there’s definitely some people I really respect at the box that want me to focus on getting stronger only and not dropping weight. But it’s so frustrating to not be able to have pull ups or HSPU. Grrr. Body weight matters! And I feel ya on the “it’s my skin, I need to feel comfortable in it.” You’re a strong woman, Juli! I’m working on being as cool as you! 🙂
Good for you and your decision. You’re not alone in your thoughts either. Many a time I get down on myself for the way I look, I try harder to change that (because I feel that’s what those around me want) and then I end up exhausted, injured, and worse off than I was. The emotional is the hardest to deal with…I can deal with walking like I shit myself for a week after a brutal leg session, but I can’t deal with someone saying I wasn’t giving it as much as I should, or I’m still fat.
Anyways, this isn’t about me…it’s about your food…and holy hell this looks tasty! I cannot wait to try this recipe