Have you ever thought about how wasteful water fountains are? I have.
Fried ice cream doesn’t make sense in my mind. So I made up my own version. Because I can. And I can rant about random stuff. Like this crap below. I’m warning you, I’m on a soap box right now.
I want to talk to you about something. Just because I like to talk about feelings. Because I have a lot of them. It’s just something that has been looming on mind for a couple of months now. I think it’s absolutely crazy how much things can change in a year’s time. How much relationships can change. How much a mind can change. And how much a body can change. This time last year, I was training incredibly hard to try to make it to the CrossFit Games. Well, even though I did not make it that far, I placed 8th in Regionals in the Southwest, and did so by gaining almost 20lbs to be able to stand a fighting chance. Not that I meant to, but I somehow did. With lots of training and lots of workouts.
But after Regionals ended and I injured myself a couple times, I had to take a step back. I stopped doing the prescribed weights in workouts, I started resting more than I had in the past two years, and I started looking into more goals I had. More things I wanted to accomplish. More things I wanted to do. These injuries made me take a step back and look at my life. It made me stop and think about what JULI wanted instead of what other people wanted.
And when I took that step back, I noticed that I hadn’t been happy for a while. I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. And for me, that is very important. I started competing because it made me happy. And made me confident. I never cared if I did poorly, I never worried about not finishing a workout. I just tried my hardest and tried to smile through it. But when disappointment began to appear on others faces, I knew it was absolutely time for me to take a step back. I never want my performance in the gym to disappoint someone. That is not why I work out. I work out to better myself. To improve myself physically and mentally. Not to upset someone because I didn’t do all my wall balls unbroken. Or because I didn’t set a PR.
This has been a hard thing for me to come to terms with. I haven’t wanted to admit it, but I don’t want to compete right now. I don’t want to train to the point that I’m spending hours in the gyms, aching constantly, and gaining 15-20lbs to be able to keep up with the amazing CrossFit ladies in my Region. That’s not what I want nor is it what my body wants. And since I’ve stopped training to my max every day, I feel better. Even though I’ve lost a ton of strength and endurance, I’m happier. I feel better in my own skin and I’m finally not crying on a regular basis because I was unhappy with how I looked. Yeah, I cried because of that. No fun. I’m an emotional mess without that crap on my mind.
But I want to make one thing clear. I LOVE CrossFit. CrossFit is one of the biggest things in my life. It’s absolutely changed my life. I have a CrossFit tattoo on my ribcage for gosh sakes. It’s really changed me and how I look at things. I set goals differently because of CrossFit. I see food differently because of CrossFit. I view health differently because of CrossFit. If I didn’t know CrossFit, I wouldn’t know me.
But this year, in 2013, I’m doing what will make me happy. And that means eating fried ice cream. My version, of course.
Banana Fried Ice Cream
Ingredients
For the ice cream
- 2 (14 ounce) cans of coconut milk
- 1/4 cup raw honey
- 1/4 cup almond butter
- 2 tablespoons cinnamon
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
For the toppings
- 2 bananas, peeled and sliced
- 2 tablespoons coconut butter
- 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon
- pinch of salt
- sprinkle of maple sugar or coconut sugar
Instructions
- Place 2 cans of coconut milk in a medium saucepan along with the honey, cinnamon, almond butter, vanilla extract, and salt.
- Add saucepan to medium heat and mix well until well combined.
- Once mixture is well combined and smooth, put in freezer until completely cooled.
- When the mixture is cooled, add to your ice cream maker and turn on.
- When your ice cream has almost completely thickened, place a small skilletover medium heat and add your coconut butter and bananas.
- Then add the cinnamon, coconut sugar, and a pinch of salt to the pan.
- Mix around in pan and cook until bananas are caramelized and soft.
- Top bananas on ice cream and sprinkle with a bit more coconut sugar.
- Eat. Emotionally eat.
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I found your blog while doing a search for GAPS diet recipes and man, did I hit the jackpot. I keep coming back for the awesome stories, refreshingly un-ladylike language and of course, the dancing. I find myself wondering at random times during the day, “I wonder what wacked-out, version of deliciousness Juli is posting today?” Then I can’t rest until I’ve checked. Today was the most pleasant surprise I could’ve hoped for. Yesterday, for breakfast, I made the coconut flour pancakes with the apples on top, minus the date caramel sauce because I ate all my dates wrapped in baco. There was a little bit of coconut milk left in the can after I mixed the pancakes and I found myself eating it with a spoon. Today, I was thinking I needed some kind of treat involving more of that stuff and you read my mind. Thank you! I go grocery shopping tomorrow and all those things will be on my list. I’ll be eating banana fried ice cream the day after tomorrow. Hallelujah!
Oh, bravo on your self-discovery journey. You being completely you is what the world needs!
Juli, I’m so glad you’ve decided to stop ‘training to the max.’ It was stressful on your body, and stressful on your mind, and it’s really not necessary when all you want to do is look your best and be happy! Here’s to a great 2013 (:
Girl, you’re awesome. And you’ve made a very important point. I myself am excited at the prospect of competing in CrossFit events at some point–but only if they have scaled divisions. I’m doing this for me, to be healthier, to love my body (and dang, after only 4 months, I’m alright with what all those squats have done for me).
Health is also about wellness, and wellness is also about balance. Glad to hear you are making “you” the priority.
Also, I’ve been creeping on all your recipes during this paleo challenge I’m on. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I don’t have and ice cream maker. AHHHHHGGGHHHH.
That makes me feel a lot better because I hurt my back doing deadlifts, and had to take a break. I’m glad other people are going through the same thing! And I want to see your crossfit tattoo!!!!!!
Trish
I know what you mean 100%!! Last year I was all into competing and getting stronger to keep up and then I injured my hip. I pretty much haven’t been able to run or do box jumps in months and my lifts from the ground have suffered. I haven’t PR’d in months and honestly, I don’t care. I do crossfit because it makes me happy and I’m just glad to be healthy and in good shape. Some times it’s not all about competing and PRing, it’s about the community, the friends you make from the community, and just being happy with what you’re doing. There used to be a lot of pressure to compete at my old gym and now that I’ve switched it’s so much better that I’m not being hounded to compete at every competition.
Not wanting to compete doesn’t make you any less of an athlete :O)
Julie, you don’t know me. I’ve been following your blog since you started and I’ve been involved in CrossFit for over 5 years, in Oregon and now back in Colorado where I was born and raised. I read this post and I know there are a lot of posts consoling you and relating…but really…CrossFit is a blessing and a curse for me. I can’t tell you how great it feels to be strong, but how much worse it feels to not be comfortable in your own skin. I struggle with this daily and have been working over the last several years to find a balance of exercise in various forms that make ME feel the best. There is so much pressure out there to do more, be more, perform better, and I get tired and sick of it. I love CrossFit, but I struggle with it the same as I struggle with the rest of the fitness industry. It will reward performance and looks with now regard for feelings, self-esteem, or personal goals. People just want someone who they can look up to and as you gain that position (intentionally or by default by writing a blog and posting your feelings, voicing things people relate to but won’t say). You have found yourself in that position and it sucks. So many people look up to you and hold you to a high standard for their own motivation and it sucks and is unfair and I think you should do whatever the HELL MAKES YOU HAPPY. It took me years to realize that but doing shit for other people just leads to more shit. Whatever you do (and I respect you for it) do it FOR YOURSELF. FUCK EVERYONE ELSE. Make yourself happy and that should be your life. I would love to meet you before I move to Texas to spread FItness and Wellness to the college population there. I will continue on this battle to be healthy but happy–it’s a balance that is a lifelong journey that I am still working on and many will just begin. But it’s life and the more love and support we can get being honest with ourselves, the more rich our lives will be. Love you girl, but seriously Fuck THEM and and do what makes you happy. I am a fitness professional (both in and out of CrossFit), just got divorces, 30 years old and ready to start my life for myself. Trying to balance activity that makes me happy…running, yoga, crossfit, and olympic lifting. But I’ll be DAMNED if I’m going to let someone else’s agenda influence my life anymore. Go live your live and be happy lady!
Ok, sorry for the blunt response and profanity. Please delete from your blog if you feel necessary to respect all readers. I did not mean to offend, just to support and voice my opinion.
When you say “water fountains are wasteful,” do you mean little drinking fountains, or monument/park large decorative water fountains?
drinking water fountains. now that i think of it, decorative ones are worse.
Juli – you are my everyday inspiration! Everyone else said all the things I could say.
Omg! Juli! My friend told me to read this today and I’m so glad I did! Soooo much like what’s happening to me lately. If you keep this up, think of how far you will be within the next year?! Exciting stuff juli….