I’m sitting in the living room right now, black sports bra and Lulu pants on, hair dye slicked through my hair like I ran grease through it. Or W-D40. Oh, I’m also eating a steak while sitting on the floor. I’m so weird. And I tend to get my hair dye everywhere when I dye it myself. I have it on my shoulder right now. Most likely on my back, which will be there for at least 3-4 days. Cool.
Why do hair stylists have to be so expensive? And why do people keep having to steal my credit card online? And go buy things at Disney World? It’s so inconsiderate. That’s where you spend my money? At the happiest place on earth? That’s just rude bro. And please do not email me and tell me ways to prevent credit card theft. I know them all…obviously. Credit card theft is so mean. Especially when your funds are limited like mine. I was going to feed all my readers with that money. Karma’s a b*tch bro. Just sayin’.
This weekend was pretty damn fun. Pretty much because it was all based around food. Birthday lunch for one of my best buddies Jake (he turned 30, what a stud), then 2 BBQ’s at our house, then Laura and I made pretty much every dessert under the sun. Lots of red meat consumed, many beers and bottles of alcohol thrown back, and lots of tan lines…or burns. Days in the park, followed by evenings in the back yard, and finished off with nights in the living room…I.LOVE.COLORADO. And I love my friends. Have you started to follow me on instagram yet @paleomg? I’m seriously an instagram feed now. It makes me feel like I know how to take pictures. Clever lil device.
I figured out a couple things this weekend:
- I have to start getting pedicures. Damnit. I hate being a girl. And having feet.
- I like steak WAY more than I thought. Paired with asparagus…even if it makes my pee smell.
- I still hate running. But I gotta get that Lake Powell bod. Balls.
- If the right song comes on, I instantly want to go dancing. Meaning anything by B.o.B. right now. I feel so cool when his songs come on. Fly, to be exact.
- My ass finally fit into a pair of Old Navy jeans. Thank gosh. It’s hard acting like a normal person.
- I love this quote, “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” -Dr. Seuss.
So this recipe is stupid good. I’m not kidding. I was highly stoked about it. I based it off my banana bread recipe that I also tear up for whenever I make it. It’s kind of like eating a bakery, minus the gluten and bloating. I love fake bread. Ugh. Sometimes I talk WAY too much. Yeah, all the time.
Blueberry & Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Loaf
- Yield: 4-5 1x
Ingredients
- 1 medium banana (the browner, the better)
- 1/4 cup pureed pumpkin
- 1/4 cup blueberries
- 1/8 cup Enjoy Life chocolate chips or dark chocolate chips
- 1.5 cups roasted unsalted cashews
- 1 cup almond meal/flour
- 2 tablespoons walnut oil
- 2 eggs, whisked
- 1 tablespoon raw honey
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
- Pull out your handy dandy food processor. It will make life soooo much easier. Add your cashews to the food processor to grind down.
- Once your get a fine cashew meal, add your walnut oil while your food processor is still on until you get a cashew butter.
- Then add your peeled banana and pureed pumpkin to your food processor with your cashews. Turn your food processor on and let combine for a minute or so until you have a soupy paste. Taste it. It’s stupid delicious.
- Now in a large bowl, whisk your eggs, then add your cashew/banana mixture along with almond meal/flour, baking soda and powder, honey, vanilla extract, cinnamon, and salt. Mix to combine until you get a batter.
- Now fold in your blueberries and chocolate chips.
- Grease a loaf pan with some coconut oil. I used a loaf pan that was 9×5 inches and it worked well. You could use smaller for taller loaf of bread, just may cook differently.
- Pour batter into your greased loaf pan. Place in oven and bake for 25-30 minutes or until bread is cooked through and the top of your loaf has a bit of a “crisp” to it.
- Let bread cool for about 10 minutes.
Notes
Be careful how many blueberries you add, it can get a bit too moist if you’re not careful.
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You into this? I bet you’ll love this!
Dark Chocolate Raspberry Chia Banana Bread
Moist Chocolate Zucchini Bread (nut free)
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was wondering what the calorie and carb content is on these recipes??????
No idea
Hi,
This is one of my most fav. recipes for muffins. Im extremely picky son loves them too. Do you have any idea of the nutritional counts? Curious how much protein and calories are in it.
Thanks!
no clue, sorry Stephanie!
If you cut it into 5 slices, it’s 340 calories and 10.8g of protein
Ok…I am not even gonna lie….I am a little obsessed with you my dear! I LOVED this recipe. I must admit…I have a sweet tooth that used to rule my very existence. Not to mention I was known for my baking (ok…in my own family and the myriads of multiple personalities living within me…JK) so leaving baking to be paleo was a bit …….sigh…..sad. NO MORE! I am renewed and among the living, breathing, happier, thinner, healthier paleo crazies. Thank you for this recipe!! I added more pumkin to it and a second banana and it was so freaking moist I almost cried. And….I may have tripped when I was pouring in the chocolate chips …so a few extra MAY have gotten in the batter.
Try the avocado chocolate pudding! OMG Add a banana to that as well as some creamy cashew butter….DEfreakingLISH.
THANK you
A new follower
WTF this looks ridiculous. Ridiculously awesome.
Not sure if I will get a response but I will try!! Love your food, Love your blog, my cashews are salted…will this mess up the recipe? 🙂
It just might make the loaf too salt and throw the flavor off, but you could soak them in some water to remove some of the excess salt
This makes my mouth water… Can’t wait to try AND eat!
Oh my gosh. I’ve been on Paleo for about a month and I just made this. You are a life saver. I’ve been craving sweets and this is the perfect treat. Especially now that Fall is starting! This is amazing!! Thank you for this recipe!!! Keep making amazing things! 🙂
Is it possible to make this into muffins instead of a loaf? I plan on making these for a study meet up coming up.
absolutely! not sure how long they will need to cook for so just keep an eye on them
Is it possible to make this without the chocolate? I wouldn’t think it would throw of the wet-to-dry ratio, but I wanted to make sure before I unnecessarily waste ingredients.
it’s fine without chocolate chips!
I made them into muffins as i haven’t had much success with loaves as they always take ages to cook. My husband said these were the best muffins I’ve made which includes the ones with flour and sugar. I used some microwaved pumpkin as we don’t get pumpkin in a can here and they were delicious. My 4 and 2 year old loved them. Thank you