Sooooo since I just got back from vacation in Lake Powell, I haven’t quite transitioned to real life yet. I hate reality. I have to workout with real barbells instead of just rocks. I have wear clothes that cover my entire ass and wear tops that actually hold my boobs in place. And I have keep track of time. All these things are just silly. I was quite happy with my schedule of working out in the morning with a large rock, wearing a strapless swimsuit during the day, and having no idea what time it was until the sun was going down and my stomach was growling. I think I’m fighting depression. Post Powell Depression. PPD.
Let’s recall some of the water sports at Lake Powell to pull me out of this slump. So every morning after I got in a quick workout, we would head straight onto the wakeboard boat (a Malibu to be exact. they are pretty damn cool) and head out for the morning on the water. We would get straight into wakeboarding or surfing or tubing. I wakeboarded a little, but as soon as I ate sh*t, I got scared real quick. I like wakeboarding, but I like lifting heavy sh*t way more and injuring myself isn’t on my agenda. So I mostly watched others who are good at wakeboarding. The guys I was with seriously have no fear. It was so freaking cool to watch. I don’t know what any of the tricks are called. I think some things are called gainers. Maybe tripods. Maybe cumquats. Yeaaaaaah, I made all those things up.
We then moved onto surfing. I like surfing. I feel much safer while surfing. I wasn’t any good at it, but I did get in a beer bong while surfing. Classy. Let’s rephrase that though. I was surfing, still holding onto the rope, and did a beer bong with probably 1/4 of a beer in it. If that. I hadn’t done a beer bong since my freshmen year of college, in which I swallowed a quarter. Yes, a quarter. Funny joke. Glad that joke didn’t play out this time around.
I then begged the guys to go tubing, but as soon as we got out on the water, I was too scared to go first. For good reason. Two tubes tied behind the boat means danger. Especially when two men are strapped to them. I wish I had pictures of these men dueling away on their tubes, but that would mean I had missed some of the carnage that was left behind the boat. I’ve never seen grown men’s bodies flail so much through the air. It was terrifying. So in conclusion, I never tubed. I wanted to keep my boobs on my body. Another thing I decided against trying was body surfing. I almost peed myself watching it though. These guys would body surf tandem and go flying over each other, shark week style. I love sharks.
Ooooo, I almost forgot the cliff jumping. We did a good amount of that. I’m stupid in the fact that I feel all brave and have the balls to get up on top of the cliff, but as soon as it’s time to jump, I almost poop myself. Not even joking you. I 100% thought I might poop myself before one of the jumps. It would take me 15 seconds to get to the top of the cliff, then a good 5-8 minutes to even jump off. And my cliffs were BABY cliffs compared to the guys. My friends Justin, Scott, Brian, JD, and Ty all jumped about a 75-80 ft cliff and mine was 30 ft. If that. More like 20. But I’m rounding up. I can do that. It’s my blog.
Thanks for bearing through that post. I know I just crapped pictures all throughout your brain. Hopefully it makes you jealous and makes you think my life is more exciting than it actually is. Tricked ya b*tches!
Oh btw, this recipe is delicious. Not even gonna lie this time.
Breakfast Meatza
- Yield: 4 1x
Ingredients
- 1lb pork breakfast sausage
- 7 eggs (1 egg as the binder, the rest to top your meatza with)
- 6–8 slices of bacon, diced
- 1/2 sweet potato or yam, diced (the smaller, the faster it will cook)
- 1/2 yellow onion, diced
- 1 garlic clove, minced
Instructions
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Place your breakfast sausage in a medium bowl and crack an egg directly in. Mix with your hands until the egg is broken up and you have a big ball of goo.
- Pour your meat mixture into a 8×8 glass baking dish and press down until you have an even surface through the entire dish.
- Put in the oven for 8-10 minutes or until you see the fat rise up to the top. It won’t have to be completely cooked through since you will be cooking it a second time. Once you pull it out of the oven, discard of any excess fat if you’d like. I did.
- While your meatza is cooking, cut up your bacon and throw in alarge pan over medium heat. Cook until completely cooked through and a bit crispy. Then remove with a slotted spoon and place on a plate with a paper towel to soak up excess fat. Pour the remaining excess bacon fat in the pan into a jar, leaving about 2-3 tablespoons in the pan.
- Add your garlic clove, then add your sweet potato and yellow onion to the pan.
- Let the onion and sweet potato cook down for about 8-10 minutes, stirring frequently to keep from burning.
- Once your sweet potatoes are soft and your meatza has cooked, start making layers. Add your sweet potato/onion mixture to the top of your meatza, evenly distributed. Then crack 6 eggs on top, you pick where you’d like them to go. And finally top with bacon through the eggs.
- Place back in the oven to cook for 8-10 minutes or until eggs are cooked to your preference. If you don’t like eggs over-easy or over-medium, you could make scrambled eggs instead to top it off with!
- Let cool. Top with hot sauce because hot sauce is delightful.
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Wakeboarding looks like snowboarding + water. Mmm..water-boarding…wait…whaa? Can’t wait for snow season, and now I must try this wake boarding thang. Oh, and I’m making that for breakfast tomorrow now too.
#1 – Lovin’ the beer bong water sports – awesome!
#2 – Totally lovin’ this recipe! Yay for meat! Haha
#3 – Absolutely, totally lovin’ your blog! 🙂
That sure looks like a crowd pleaser! I can imagine serving that at brunch and no one would ask where the bagels are.
So glad you overcame the initial hesitancy to go to Lake Powell, bet you go again! I love the red rocks, blue sky and white clouds, and the water, THE WATER! thanks for sharing…this meatza looks fantastic.
Can you please share with the class what your rock workout consisted of? I would love to hear all about that! Oh, and this meatza will be consumed this weekend.
I just have to say that your posts crack me up! Thanks for being so lighthearted and fun to read!
I’m totally trying that breakfast meatza, looks great!
My goodness that looks amazeballs! I will be looking for bison my next trip to the grocery store.
I am totally with you on the cliff-jumping! I’m super brave at the bottom, then I get to the top and decide I would rather risk climbing back down to the middle than jumping! And because I’m so scared I don’t really commit, so I end up smacking something wrong on the water and validate why I’m scared of it 🙂
I will def try this recipe, except I will probably just put the sweet potatoes and onions right on top of the buffalo and have them all cook together because I’m lazy like that.
Hurrah for Meatza! Where did you buy bison sausage?
click on the link in the recipe, i get my through tropical traditions
I like your blog a lot. I’m so interested in paleo lifestyle but find that its not compatible with where I live. For example I can’t access or find anywhere grassfed or antibiotic free animal foods.
I’m able to buy antibiotic free chicken 1-2 times per week. Other than that its a lot of fish and eggs and stuff and I feel that everything is so the same and not enough variety. I then get ravenous at night and end up eating entire bars of dark chocolate. Dark chocolate = great. But big amounts every single night = maybe not so great.
I just saw your pumpkin muffin and it looked great, I wonder how to incorporate it into a typical day though. I always worry I’m overdoing the eggs and fats (oils specifically).
I just wish I could access things like more chicken, chicken sausages, bacon, etc…I’m finding it impossible considering my financial limitatinos and geographic situation. Too bad!!